PDA

View Full Version : ~~A project I have been think about-The life of Existence~~



oarfish
January 15th, 2011, 07:58 PM
1

writerchk
January 15th, 2011, 08:10 PM
Just to let you know your not the only one my tab key instead of tabbing scrolls up and down the space I have to count to 10 spaces just to tab

oarfish
January 15th, 2011, 08:30 PM
Yes, the tab key interrupts me everywhere.

oarfish
January 16th, 2011, 09:22 PM
I have been adding more, specifically more of the most important characters. Feel free to comment.

InsanityStrickenWriter
January 16th, 2011, 10:04 PM
Errr, well, first I'll get a minor oddity out of the way:


being shy, does not express these insights

When someone is your best friend, shyness would not come into it. Politeness perhaps, but not shyness.

Ok, now then, the problem with all this is that...You're planning the characters without any ideas as to what they'll be doing or what the plot for them is? It may be fun to imagine these people up and write them down, but in all honesty it will probably not be of much use. Personally, I often start my stories with a page or two of plans on what the plot and world is, but the moment I start writing the story itself the plans become almost entirely redundant.

When you write a story, it is from my view best to leave the characters to invent themselves wherever a particular sort of character is needed. Perhaps I am wrong, but I just feel that you should jump straight into writing the story itself.

oarfish
January 16th, 2011, 10:09 PM
I expected this. I pretty much quoted in my head your response before you posted it.

As I had explained before my tab key messed up, this is a different type of story, more like an emotional representation of life.

Also, it is shyness, his worldly trip redifined his emotional perceptions.

I do appreciate that you posted though.

InsanityStrickenWriter
January 16th, 2011, 10:21 PM
I expected this. I pretty much quoted in my head your response before you posted it.

As I had explained before my tab key messed up, this is a different type of story, more like an emotional representation of life.

Also, it is shyness, his worldly trip redifined his emotional perceptions.

I do appreciate that you posted though.

My point still stands as to 'jump straight into writing the story itself'. I don't mean to be rude but I just don't think it's constructive to plan so many characters out before a story has actually begun, I may be completely mistaken though so I'll leave it be. I look forward to reading the final product. :)

oarfish
January 16th, 2011, 11:04 PM
I have finished posting the main characters. During the stories I might introduce more of the pertinent ones in certain situations.

oarfish
January 16th, 2011, 11:07 PM
I appreciate (i need a synonym for that :)) your apologies, as you did not know my plans (I do have many stories planned for these characters). Also, I have rewritten part of my introducation, explaining some of what was lost due to my tab key. Hopefully that will clear some things up. :)

oarfish
January 19th, 2011, 11:36 PM
I have been adding more of the stories; please continue to comment.

garza
January 20th, 2011, 01:14 AM
Why are you using the tab key at all? Line spacing between paragraphs is best for a text editor, and that is essentially what you are using here. When you want to start a new paragraph, hit return twice, like this:

You can treat each bit of dialogue as a paragraph:

'You are a dirty rotten skunk', she said.

'And you, Joycelin, are nothing but a two-bit southside hustler looking for an easy buck so you can buy yourself a little bit of smoke.'

'Oh, year?'

'Yeah.'

You can try formatting in Word, then copy and paste. That works fine for some people, and if it works for you it will allow you to use indents instead of line spaces. But even so do not use the tab key. Go to edit, select all, then format, paragraph, set all indents to zero except special which should be set to first line, and set line spacing to single. That way every time you hit return, the next line will be indented.

I don't think I've used a tab key to indent since I quit using typewriters 30 years ago. The tab key is useful for other things, but not for indenting.

InsanityStrickenWriter
January 20th, 2011, 03:05 PM
You're a great writer, but I fear you are making too many observations of the general chit-chat and ongoing of every day teenagers. There is very little that brings the reader's attention to Will, and as soon as it goes to him it switches back to the, to be honest, unneeded conversations of his peers. An example :

Will was deep in thought when Persephone caught his attention.
"Will, do you know what the date is?" she asked.
"I am not sure," he replied.
"I think it is the eighteenth, but I am not sure either," she remarked.
Larry then joined them, holding his necklace.
"That is a nice necklace, is it new?" Persephone commented.

So the moment the necklace is mentioned, that's it. Will once again disappears, and once again it is for useless chit-chat. If this guy is your main character, you need to show it. I apologise, but as it is now, there is simply too many characters, and too much needless dialogue from them, to give me an attachment to anyone. I think it may be an idea to try this out from the first-person perspective of Will, it would allow him to be involved throughout the story without him having much dialogue, while also providing a more personal outlook on his world.

oarfish
January 20th, 2011, 11:10 PM
You're a great writer, but I fear you are making too many observations of the general chit-chat and ongoing of every day teenagers. There is very little that brings the reader's attention to Will, and as soon as it goes to him it switches back to the, to be honest, unneeded conversations of his peers. An example :

Will was deep in thought when Persephone caught his attention.
"Will, do you know what the date is?" she asked.
"I am not sure," he replied.
"I think it is the eighteenth, but I am not sure either," she remarked.
Larry then joined them, holding his necklace.
"That is a nice necklace, is it new?" Persephone commented.

So the moment the necklace is mentioned, that's it. Will once again disappears, and once again it is for useless chit-chat. If this guy is your main character, you need to show it. I apologise, but as it is now, there is simply too many characters, and too much needless dialogue from them, to give me an attachment to anyone. I think it may be an idea to try this out from the first-person perspective of Will, it would allow him to be involved throughout the story without him having much dialogue, while also providing a more personal outlook on his world.

These lines are meant to illuminate the conditions of the other characters, which, in turn, relate to Will's feelings toward them. Also, this is, again, a collection of stories using the same charcters. They are from Will's point of view, relating the characters to not only him, but to each other. Also, each segment has different characters in them; as they go along, you will discern which are the most important. (I have also made sure in the introduction that I gave some relation of the characters to each other, which will gradually become more significant as the stories move along.) Also, like I also mentioned in the introduction, Will is shy, but observant. Many of these "unneeded conversations of his peers" are essential to his views of them, and of their positions in these stories. They will progress as they move forward, and the parts that I have written are leading up to major situations involving Will. I am grateful (sysnonym :)) for your comments, but I would please ask you to wait until the stories start moving before judging them. (Just for time scaling, all that I have done by now, January 19, is only about 15 minutes worth of time.)

oarfish
January 20th, 2011, 11:12 PM
Why are you using the tab key at all? Line spacing between paragraphs is best for a text editor, and that is essentially what you are using here. When you want to start a new paragraph, hit return twice, like this:

You can treat each bit of dialogue as a paragraph:

'You are a dirty rotten skunk', she said.

'And you, Joycelin, are nothing but a two-bit southside hustler looking for an easy buck so you can buy yourself a little bit of smoke.'

'Oh, year?'

'Yeah.'

You can try formatting in Word, then copy and paste. That works fine for some people, and if it works for you it will allow you to use indents instead of line spaces. But even so do not use the tab key. Go to edit, select all, then format, paragraph, set all indents to zero except special which should be set to first line, and set line spacing to single. That way every time you hit return, the next line will be indented.

I don't think I've used a tab key to indent since I quit using typewriters 30 years ago. The tab key is useful for other things, but not for indenting.

Well, I am new here, so I has to get used to using keys this this. Thank You for your suggestions.