View Full Version : Dreaming of a better ending to this world... contains some swear words

Aj DeNecochea
December 18th, 2010, 08:52 PM
I had a pretty awesome dream...
I heard this idea out my window, and it was an idea more powerful than money. I went to go see what was up, and what I saw was the most beautiful thing I could have ever imagined.
Lions jumped out of their cages and walked beside them. The beasts of the earth were defending them with their lives. The cattle were disobeying, and joining the march. Other animals came too. I saw formations of all different varieties of colored birds flying above.
They walked right through the streets, escorted by fire trucks with all varieties of traitors from military to police, armed to the teeth. There was no uniform or flags. Just one indestructible force walking in total peace through crowded streets and empty valleys. Musicians joined the march and were playing Hare Krishna straight from the heart. And as the music grew all the glass was being shattered around them in such a wave - that people would come out and see what was up. I never heard a more powerful battle cry, or neither saw a greater display of human spirit. This fire was not being put out. It was wild and spreading. Incriminating words were being written. Undisputable things were being said. But they were joyful. They were even dancing. It made you want to drop everything and join right in the fun. They were going to change the world. Hard working construction workers followed, one of them had Jack Daniels in his hand, and a toolbox in the other, willing and ready to give their labor to rebuilding the world from the ground up. They wanted no money, just to say they helped build a better world.
The dream got stranger.
Mental hospitals and rehab centers were shutting down because patients were running into the crowd to smoke herb with their friends and listen to the music. Cars didn't dare honk when traffic was stopped. Instead, people got out of their cars and followed, leaving still cars in quiet freeways. The number was gathering by the thousands. News was traveling instantly through way of the internet. Live streams and videos and texts and posts were immediately attracting new people. And they too wanted to follow the good music and happy people and beautiful animals. It was a wonderful traveling carnival. People brought campers and trailers to follow. Somebody ordered pizza and Round Table showed up to sponsor all the backyard BBQ pizza we could handle while marching through Los Angeles. A friendly cow followed with a radio playing off his back - more chants. People were high, and their bellies were full of California pizza. Then I saw them spray painting banks and skyscrapers alike. The red paint was to be placed on the doors of the offices who had a hand in large amounts of humans who died by their greed.
We went to orange county and threw rocks at the Crystal Cathedral. Chuck Norris was there. He helped bring down the abomination and we celebrated in it's ashes.
The dream got stranger.
Fast food restaurants were being cleared out by bees. All of a sudden they had a craving to eat all the shit that we had been for so long. Now the bees have taken over the fast food industry. They use them for hives to make honey, and now everyone can have free honeycomb at McDonalds.
Motorcycle gangs joined the fun. They roared with the lions. Rising out of nothing as the poet was chanting.
There was no darkness in the three days that they walked. They never got tired. They never got hungry. They were the beating heart of all of humanity, period.
There were those that gave us strange looks. They stood still as we walked by. The ones that didn't join were hostile towards us. They wondered what we were doing, where we were going, what it meant. The people's response was that the dude in the front said it was time to fulfill all righteousness.
When they got to Vegas, Sinatra sang as they burned down the casinos. The drug and gambling addicts, prostitutes, and the homeless, all left Vegas with them. The rich Casino investors and managers and owners used their private armies to try to stop them but their bullets missed and the ex-military men fired back in kind. Mercenaries and political criminals were getting out. They burnt Sin City to the fucking ground.
The dream got stranger.
All the prisons were broken into, and all of the prisoners were freed, and they joined without violence. And they were free. And all the men and women on death row were freed. And they were given another chance at life. And they joined the march. Every prison was freed. Churches and religions were judged very harshly. They were burned down. They were going to worship their God outdoors, in the open, in the streets and cities.
Then an army met them, as they started getting further east. The Federal Government sent machine tanks and machine birds and they fired upon them but the bullets burned up in their energy, so then they sent the greatest fire known to man to stop them. The bombs exploded and their positive energy defeated the radiation and the force. And the music got better and they laughed and cheered and said "Fuck you! Is that the best you've got?!"
Then strange beams and Tesla-like machines raged towards them. Lighting struck, tornadoes went angry, and hail came down heavy like raining gunfire. But they were so warm against each other, and so solid in spirit and will, that they were not moved.
They were destroying the earth but not us. They used alien tricks to try and stop us but we were not fooled by their invasion. They sent ex-lovers at us, offered money to stop and riches beyond our dreams, they offered full pardons and peace treaties. They wanted to talk but we wouldn't listen to them, just as they didn't listen to us when we asked of them so many times, for so many years. We moved. Onward. Past the Pentagon, and into the lair of the Capitol. The ground shook beneath us, we were still as all the false symbols and idols were completely swallowed by the earth. They were fucking gone for good. The bankers and the politicians ran towards us in tears and begged for their way of life. But their begs for more greed were not heard. Martin Luther King Jr. punched Obama in the face. Tupac kicked him while he was down. And JFK took his American flag pin and pinned it to himself instead. There was much celebration.
This made the offense very, very angry. They fired more destructive bombs and more bullets and more fire. But the movement was not slowed. They were swimming now, riding on boats and ships. The sea tried to swallow them, and a great typhoon went past them. But the sun was shining through the clouds, and the storm was not hitting the light, and the light was upon them. They played more music, and the one they were following gave incredible wisdom that put everyone to tears of joy. They embraced him, knowing, absolutely and finally knowing, that He is their brother. And brother looks out for us. He carries His Father's holy vengeance with him.
When we landed in Europe we confronted Parliament and brought down the corruption. The one they followed kicked the Queen's throne down. Then we went taggin' in the Vatican, taking back the lost artifacts and the spear of destiny. Then the Pope was dragged out by his hair and made to answer for all the deceit and death he had committed against humanity. To which he had no rational answer for, and he was punished for it.
Then they went into the middle east, and gathered all the innocent war victims and deceived soldiers and moved on, with an army of their own. In the desert night, saucer crafts shot down at them with rays of green light. These rays could not penetrate their flesh, because they had embraced the one they followed, and he was forever. So we laughed as falcons and eagles and condors took down the saucers from the sky.
China was freed and united. Japan was accused of forgetting their once great values and brought to freedom. The pyramids of Egypt were brought down by earthquake, and the sphinx and everything underneath it fell into the earth. Babylon had finally fallen.
Then all manner of vile oozed out from the earth and an ancient enemy rose like a dragon. We took the spear and drove it straight into it's heart. And then it could do no harm.
Then they found the new Mecca in Jerusalem, and the construction workers went to work on building a new temple. All they wanted to do was have a place to talk about the next step. To talk about the future. The question was asked, "We got it wrong last time. How do we get it right this time?" And a simple answer was given that satisfied everyone. "You can do no more wrong." The influences were dead. Worry and death were a thing of the past. Finally, the parasites were off their backs. The rest of life would be a constant search for more bliss. To which there is no end. You can never be too high. You can never love too much. Peace was formed and they finally moved forward to bettering the universe. Tesla gave them free energy, and they were ready to spread peace to wherever there was none. That was the power of their spirit. It was born eternally by a perfect creator, and it can never go out. And did I mention...the music never stopped. Amen.

Glass was breaking as the music grew

Bilston Blue
December 18th, 2010, 10:26 PM
I like this, though it has its flaws. I like alot of the imagery; I can see the parade, or the march, or whatever you would have it called. I hear my own soundtrack to the march, and it is mainly The Doors, but that's simply my preference, with maybe a little bit of The Polyphonic Spree.

For me its main weakness is when it becomes politicised; speaking of Obama, the Queen, the Vatican. Early on you write of walking in total peace, Hare Krishna music, and a wonderful travelling carnival, and yet it turns out to be a violent revolution. I can't know for certain, though I guess there is some kind of political or anti-establishment agenda, and I would attempt to make this more subtle. The piece can still be as powerful with subtlety. I think the writing can be tighter, fewer words can sometimes make an image more powerful, and allow the reader to develop the image and use his/her imagination.

Thanks for a good read.


Matt Gannon
December 19th, 2010, 06:05 AM
I'm not even sure what to say about this. It was so unique and cool and funny lol I laughed out loud at parts. You have an interesting style, mixing slang with sophistication. Also,the imagery was beautiful and full. That being said, it needs a lot of work. This needs a good edit-session, and it needs a lot of tightening up. It seems really clumsy.

The best way I can describe it would be to say it's a beautiful piece of fabric, but it's woven loosely so the beauty is distorted. tighten that up, friend.

December 19th, 2010, 04:51 PM
I agree with both Matt and Bilston, especially about Bilston's point on the politics.

You've got some seriously cool imagery in places, but I think the peacefulness emphasized earlier in the piece gets sort of subverted by the violence from both sides by the end.

Anyway, good job. Keep writing.