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View Full Version : Meet King Keith



Sir.
November 17th, 2010, 06:50 PM
Keith Jones had a problem. The problem was something relatively serious, as Keith, well Keith didnít like people. In actual fact Keith struggled to tolerate their existence at all, much preferring to spend long hours online. He spent most of his time on blogs and forums; he liked to pretend that they were no real other people involved in these at all and that somewhere this was all being generated by a computer. When particularly frustrated he enjoyed writing scathing comments about politicians, poets or writers online, he only accepted that these people existed so he could criticise them.

For an ordinary person the hatred of other people is a slight disadvantage in society, but with effort can be overcome. You order take always rather than eat out, you use refuse to use face-book or perhaps even a phone (choosing to rely solely on text messages) and just generally donít leave your home, work on your computer in your living room, sleep in your bedroom upstairs. Some rather extreme individuals take one step further down crazy lane refusing to ever open the curtains or windows so to limit ever seeing or hearing other people.

Believe it or not these extraordinarily anti social feelings are not a result of a psychological condition, (unlike washing ones hands too often which apparently is) but merely a understandable state of mind. This many people agree is more a comment on the mindset of psychologists rather than the validity of psychology.

Unfortunately Keith is about to be informed by the well dressed man standing on his unwelcoming porch (whom he has mistaken due to misleading advertising to be the premier delivery man of his lunch time pizza) that he is not ordinary, but by legal, genealogical and metrological coincidence is now the king of England. You should by now, if not at already, be very, very, very worried. The new king of England hates people.