View Full Version : Character Bio Thingy: Jeffrey Tyler Baron

October 4th, 2010, 12:39 AM
Just a quick character information page for my protagonist... There's a lot of information here that nobody really needs to know but helps create a more real character. Suggestions for additional information are welcome. Enjoy :D
-Age: 23
-Job: World Trade Center security guard
-Ethnicity: American, British descent
-Residence: Military-funded apartment on Columbia Street, Western Manhattan
-Pets: None
-Religion: Christian-based principles
-Hobbies: Fixing things like cars and computers, DIY projects, listening to music (instrumental types like rock and classical)
-Marital status: Single
-Temperament: Quiet, optimistic, generally happy
-Favorite Color: Navy blue
-Friends: Kyle Jackson from military training camp and childhood
-Favorite foods: Italian
-Phobias: Heights, death (both himself and killing of others)
-Faults: Short-fused emotions, over-ambition
-Something hated: Bad drivers, stuck-up people
-Secrets: None (yet)
-Strong memories: Escaping the North Tower on 9/11/01, his parents died that day (he wishes he could forget)
-Illnesses: None
-Nervous gestures: Clenching teeth
-Sleep patterns: Generally a medium sleeper, not too easily awoken but not a dead log. Usually haunted by nightmares of 9/11 though

He begins as a security guard for the World Trade Center, but after seeing his only remaining family member killed in front of him and then being accused of terrorism and the murder of a friend, he loses control of his carefully-suppressed emotions, takes matters into his own hands, personally hunts down the terrorists that ruined his life, and in the end discovers that he alone holds the key to saving New York City from massive destruction.

Motivation: Short-fused emotions, a ruined life, and a desire for the terrorists responsible for both of these to be brought to justice.

Goal: To hunt down and destroy the terrorists that killed his brother and stop their plan to kill millions more.

Conflict: He's accused of being a terrorist and is wanted for murder, and thus has to stay undercover while all of New York is on the lookout for him, all of this while the memories of his past threaten to overcome him

Epiphany: Gaining control of his emotions and memories, realizing he can make a change despite his feeling of insignificance, realization of his full potential.

After only a few days in New York on his new job, his only remaining family member--his older brother, serving as a Marine in the Middle East--returns to America and is then shot and killed in front of him within hours of arriving in the city. At this point, Jeff is an emotional wreck, barely able to keep it together. The next week, after having some time to himself to recover, he and the other newest recruits of the Freedom Tower are sent on a special assignment to be a part of JFK Airport security as the president arrives. It is a prime opportunity for terrorists to attack Air Force One, and they take it. They find themselves in the middle of the attack. Jeff, upon discovering that the terrorists behind the attack are the same terrorists who killed his brother, goes against his better judgement and his orders and singlehandedly eliminates the majority of the attack force. It all appears to end well, but in a sick twist of events, he goes from hero to villain and is convicted of the murder of one of his peers. His life is wrenched in two directions at this point. Special Operations, who suspected something was happening in New York all along, make a deal with the New York mafia to keep Jeff undercover and protected from the law, knowing he is innocent, while the two organizations work together to bring down the terrorist threat, which has elevated to a severity never before thought possible. Through his investigations, he and his Special Ops partner discover two very profound truths: The terrorists are preparing to destroy New York City in one swift stroke, and he and his partner have fallen in love. In the end, he is faced with the choice of pursuing and bringing to justice the man who killed his brother, organized the terrible plot and has been hunted by the US government for years, or saving the lives of the millions of New Yorkers and the life of the one he loves.

October 4th, 2010, 01:59 AM
If we don't need to know it, why is it there? Either the character comes alive for us in the story or it dosen't. A laundry list and a plot summary do not a story make.

Sorry to be abrupt, but far better it would be for you to put the story itself here. The background information is for you to use in building your character. The plot summary is for you to use in building the story. We don't need to see the building materials. We need to see the finished structure. Write for us, and we will read.

Bruno Spatola
October 4th, 2010, 11:29 AM
I really didn't think he would have a fear of heights, considering he went for a helicopter ride. Maybe you can expand on this in the story a little bit.

You don't need to post something like this though, in my opinion. This is to help you not us.

To be honest, I wouldn't decide a lot of the things here so early either, you don't know how it'll turn out while you're writing. Sometimes a character totally changes once I get some stuff written, and it's best to let them blossom I think. When you do a bio like this, you can find yourself restricted with what you can do. You try and write it out to these specifications. . .that's just my experience with it, not necessarily what you will experience.

How you write the story is the most important thing, don't worry about your characters sleeping patterns and favourite foods. Let those things come out naturally.

If you just wanted us to say how the character came across, I'd still say his name sounds too made-up. This feels more like his profile for a dating site. . .describing what a character is like will always be better than telling me.

Write some more of the actual story, don't worry about this, that's all I'll say. If you're doing it just to see how well you know your character, that's okay. Good luck.

October 4th, 2010, 04:54 PM
If you took out that last paragraph, it would be much better.

Might have been better to focus on his personal history, things that happened before the main storyline.

October 4th, 2010, 05:55 PM
Bruno - Being on a tall building frightens me. Flying does not. I don't know what the difference is, but it is a fact. I've flown in just about every kind of aircraft, including helicopters, with no problem. I hate being up high in a building.

Bruno Spatola
October 4th, 2010, 06:12 PM
Really? I find that quite odd. You'd think a fear of heights covered the whole spectrum, but clearly not. Well, there's another bit of info in the memory bank, thanks Garza.

October 5th, 2010, 03:31 AM
Good suggestions guys. Thanks.