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CaptainWilliam
September 7th, 2010, 10:09 PM
I'm new to this forum, and I would like to share with you one of my recent shorts. Please correct anything you feel needs to be corrected.


The Heat Thief



“State your name, age, and previous occupation please.” The man had long silver hair with one earring that had a ruby in it, his eyes were blue like the ocean, and his clothes were quite fashionable.




ERICA DIAMOND, black hair, blue eyes, age eighteen, and I used to work at the local store next to my home, the Wash and Shop. You can wash your clothes and shop for groceries at the same time. There is a jingle, but I don’t think you would like it. I came here because I had to find a job after being fired for spying on the store manager and this place seemed interesting. Elemental Detective Agency, sounds pretty spiffy to me, am I right?” Erica is a girl that lives in a town that is right above the demon world, and it’s called ‘Little Slice of’. It was named that for a reason, the reason was so you can insert whatever word you thought needed to be there.




“Well this place is far from the ordinary job like you had, do you even have experience as a detective?” He was rapping his fingers on a sheet of paper that read something about dealing with demons and monsters of the night.




“Experience as a detective, right, let’s see, I have a messenger bag that has lots of things that might help. Erica opened the flap of her bag and started pulling one thing after another until she reached the bottom. She is one of those girls that collect things that look interesting to her. “Yes, here we go, I have a magnifying glass, a finger print finder thing, and a notepad with an ink pen attached.”




“You need more than that to get into this agency young lady.”




“Please hire me, I will make sure to look under every rock and keep my eyes wide open for anything that looks suspicious to me. I really need this job; my parents have had it with me and my money problems.”




“Maybe if I show you what we go through you will go home and place an application to a normal job.” He took Erica’s hand and walked to a room that was dark except for a flickering light that revealed a capsule that was emitting smoke from it. “This is the initiation chamber, and in this chamber we shape the mind into the type of element that the mind is most fond of. Step into the chamber and let’s see what kind of person you are.”




The machine started as Erica stepped in; it was strapping her in and airing up like the blood pressure machines that you can see in pharmacies. It only took a matter of five minutes before the straps started to unbuckle and the door opened. The gas flowed out of the door like the fog that would come off a body of water in the early morning.




“Young lady, are you alright?” He was staring at the paper that was printing off of the dinosaur of a printer. “Are you sure you want this job that bad?”




“I really need this job; nobody else will take me in.”




“Well, we need an element… I mean person like you on the force.”




“I can start right away; you were going to ask that right, because that’s what everyone asks after they hire someone, right?”




“Step into the chamber again and I will read the off the side effects of this transformation.” He had a small smile that came over his worried face.




Erica returned into the cramped space of the chamber.




“The effects can be minor such as enhanced sight or hearing, and the small chance of gaining animal parts, but you will be guaranteed to have what element the machine says you are”



Fifteen minutes later the transformation was complete and the chamber doors started to open.




Erica stepped out from the fog filled machine and sneezed. “So, what’s my power is it something cool?” Smoke rose from the ground up and the smell was that of rubber burning.




“Let me get the fire extinguisher for you.”




Erica panicked and kicked off the shoes; she stumbled into a mirror with four sides, and what she saw was quite shocking. She had black patches over her eyes and small ears on the top of her head. She put her palms over her ears and pushed them down. “I’m not so upset about the patches over my eyes, but the ears are a bit much. Don’t you think?”




“Don’t be so worried about it; at least you don’t have a hairless tail.” He folded his arms and admired the way she looked.




Erica turned around and shook her hips, “I don’t think I could deal with a tail, because that thing would get in my way. Anyways, you still haven’t told me your name or anything that I told you before we did this.”




“My name is…” He gave his earring a tap… “Red and my previous occupation was Rookie at this place. Now that you know all you need to know, follow me for your first assignment.”




Erica followed him down a hall that was lit by candles; the fragrance was a mixture of strawberry and vanilla. One room that they passed had a man making his own ice cubes from his nose. She looked away a rubbed her nose that was cold from the thought of what she had seen. “This first job will be easy right?”




“Right this way.” They walked into a room that was decorated with lightning bolt wallpaper, and incense sticks. “Excuse the mess on the desk; we have been under a lock down ever since the heat thief stole the transformer.” Red pulled a random file from the mess on the desk and slid it towards her. “Well what is it, we normally don’t tell each other things, but you are new here.”




Erica opened the file and looked up with a stone cold stare. The Heat Thief looks more like an imp to me, and he seems to like eating light bulbs.” She flipped through the pages until she came across the rep records. “Let’s see, he has been here before, and he was charged with eating heating pads from a nursing home last year.” Without know she scratched behind her right ear. “And he was charged with eating hot coals from a camp ground fire pit. I can understand the heating pad bit, but the charge about the hot coals is pretty dense to me. She looked up from the file and smiled a half smile. “He sounds easy boss.”




Red crossed his arms and sighed. “You need to think about what kind of person you are right now, because last time I checked he eats fire, and you happen to be quite hot. He took the file out of her hands and tossed her a new one. This one was much thinner and had hardly anything on its rep. “This one should be easy for you, he has one minor felony and he is confused by what I hear.”




Erica opened the file and closed it as quick as she opened it. “I don’t want to hunt down some snail guy that has a problem with disturbing the peace. She dropped the file on the desk and it rustled up a plume of dust. “Give it to the guy next door; he seems to be quite bored with what he’s doing. “I’m going after an imp with heat issues, as well as height.”




Red tossed her a messenger bag with an EDA patch on the front of it. “Blue is the only color we had in stock, here is your badge, black trench coat with EDA stitched into it, and of course the Rep scope, magnifying glass, and your very own thermal.



Erica threw on the trench coat and messenger bag over her shoulder. “This is a nice coat Red, too bad they don’t have it in blue so it can match the bag.” She slipped her badge into the inside pocket of her trench coat.

“I want you to be careful on this mission. We don’t want you to die on the first day.” Red stretched out his arms and cracked his knuckles. He had a look of tiredness on his face, and his eyes told the whole story. “You should go see the first victim; I’m going to sort through these files and reorder them.”




Erica faced the door and opened it, but before walking out she gave him thumbs up. “I have this under control you should get some sleep. You look like you need it pretty bad sir.”




Red rubbed his eyes something fierce, “maybe I will take a short nap, say hello to Mrs. Quam for me.”




Erica closed the door behind her and grabbed a candle off of the table outside that was yet to be lit by anyone. “I guess Mrs. Quam is my first witness.” She took a small breath and blew on the candle. She held the lit candle into the air with pride. “Who needs a match to light a candle? Not me. She walked the dark halls holding the candle up to the walls to look at the pictures on them. One picture had a man with bright red hair lighting up a cigarette with his index finger. He had a cocky look on his face like he was king of the roost. Captain “Flame Thrower” James was in small print on the bottom left corner of the painting.




There was a woman standing in the main hall wearing a pair of short and a tank top with “GROUND BREAKING LOOKS” written across the chest, she was a brunette with green eyes and thick leather gloves. Nothing seemed to be wrong with her except the gloves looked way too big for her to be wearing.




“Are you going to stand there and stare at me all day or are you going to start the job?




Erica shook her head and walked out the door and into the dark street of, Full moon Road. She walked the street down to the bus stop where she found a scooter hidden behind some bushes, and it had a sticker on the side that had the EDA logo on it. The scooter was neon green with orange stripes and purple splotches. There was no radio to listen to music on, but there was a CB to talk on. She has never used one before, but she loved the thought of being able to relay messages to the station. The key caught her eye; it was hanging on one of the branches shimmering in the moonlight. “These guys sure are serious about what they do.”




“We are very serious about our job.”




Erica did a 360 spin before going into a panic state. “Who said that?” Her voice was shaky and broken up.




“Down here patches.”




Erica jumped at the sight of a set of claws protruding out of the ground. They were thick and black; well everything was black at the time. She crouched down and moved some dirt away from the protruding claws.




“Heather Munger, EDA, hands up.”




Erica threw her hands in the air and put them against one of the three walls of the bus stop bench. “I didn’t do anything wrong, unless this scooter is yours”




The woman from the main hall of the building emerged from the hole with a trench coat that had dirt filled pockets. “Calm down Patches, I can call you patches right?



Erica slowly nodded her head with her hands still on the bench.




“Good because I’m here to keep an eye on you on your first mission. Don’t give me the tough stuff routine either. I know you have to be nervous and all, because nobody can get a hold of this imp, we’re using just enough electric to run the chamber, refrigerator, and stove. We have to make him believe there is no heat in the building.




Erica took her hands off of the bench and climbed on the scooter, and turned the key. “I’m not going to give you the tough routine, nor will I quit until I catch him.” She revved the engine before letting go of the brake and hitting the blacktop.





Heather crawled back into the hole which she came from and started digging towards Mayhem Avenue. “I hope Red is right about this girl. If he’s wrong we’re all in trouble.”




Two blocks from Full moon Road is Mayhem Avenue, it’s known for… the mayhem. Erica got off of the scooter and stepped into a yard filled with flytrap’s and little glass boxes full of flies. The house was painted a shade of yellow with a dab of green. She went to the door and knocked five times before giving up.





“Yes, may I help you with anything? Mrs. Quam was at the door with a rat in one hand and the other held a leash for the rat. She had on an old fashioned nightgown with red lace sowed into it. Not exactly the attractive looking lady but the green curls she had for hair was what made her.




“Sorry to bother you at this time of night ma’am, but I need to know everything you know about the night the electric went out.” Erica started digging through her coat pocket and flashed her badge.




Mrs. Quam stepped away from the door and cleaned off one of the dusty armchairs she had sitting in the living room, which was the same ugly color as the outside of the house. “I never got a good look at him, but I know he is small and red.” The house was cold like a freezer, almost like the room was meant to be cold. “Don’t mind the cold, do you? Because of my condition I can’t take in a lot of heat anymore. It’s called icicleitis that’s what my doctor called it.




Erica took out her magnifying glass and lit a candle. “That must be quite the condition, but I’ve never heard of it before. I’m going to search your house for clues. This will be typical dusting for finger prints and hairs.” She dusted around the outlets and found nothing but smears. “I’m not a professional at this yet, but I would say he tried to hide his tracks.” She stood up and looked around the room. “Mrs. Quam do you have anything that can put off enough heat, to heat a small room?”



Mrs. Quam escorted Erica into the kitchen where she showed her the kiln. “This is the only thing in my house that can really put off heat. It has a small fire going in it right now; let me open it for you. She turned the handle and opened the door. Small bits of hot coals smoldered in the middle of the kiln “This is all I burn on an average day like this.”





“Yeah, this slow burn is just enough for me.” Out of the kiln came the imp with hot coals bulging in his cheeks, and his fists were full of ashes.




Erica made a leap for him but missed. “EDA, stop right there!”




The imp busted a window in his escape, but it was much faster than using the door of course, what would a bad guy be if he didn’t break a window or two.



Erica grabbed the door handle and slammed it open, she ran around front where she had parked the scooter. “Stupid criminals can’t stand still.” She turned the key and spun out in the yard on her way back to the street. “Sorry about that ma’am!” She turned her head to look at the mess she had made. “That will come out of my first check.” She sighed.




The trees were only blurs to her as she was racing down the street, but some light could still be seen due to the glowing fruits on the Groath tree.




There was some static that came over the built in CB followed by a voice, it was Heather. “Patches, can you hear me? He is at the EDA; better get your rear down here now!”



Erica turned the handle bar and took a shortcut through the park that she was by; the sidewalk was visible from the light that the Groath fruit let off. It didn’t take long for her to get the station, but the scooter was overheated by the time she reached it. “Where is it?” She said in a frantic voice.




Heather was right outside the door pointing at the garage door, which was wide open.




Erica walked towards the flickering lights of the fluorescent bulbs. The background sounds of the lights buzzing made it feel like she was in a horror film, and she was the one about to be murdered. “I’m an elemental detective that has plenty of heat for you imp. So come out!” She stepped up to the door and pulled out her Rep scope. It locks onto a source of heat and reads off charges that have been given to the criminal. “You have one minute to come out that is all I’m going to give you.” She stepped further in and scanned the whole garage, but she found nothing.




“Wondering why you can’t find me?” The imp dropped from the ceiling and into Erica’s hair.




Erica snatched the imp off of her head and took him outside. It was cold to him, since he was away from the electrical appliances. The result was him going into a weak or tired state.




“Hey… You can’t catch me I can fly in the air… Can’t I? He looked around at everyone before passing out in Erica’s hands.




Red came out of the station clapping his hands. “We will get him back into the cell. Good job Diamond, you made the force and completed your first job all in one day.” He took the imp out of Erica’s hands and started for the door. “Follow me for briefing on your next job.”




Erica followed him into the station that was finally gaining power again. The hall she went down with him was meant for employees only; the hall was filled with doors with small round windows.

“This is where you keep the condemned, it looks a little small.”




“We only keep a few at this station there is more than one station, and we are one of the best. Come into my office for payment and a new job.”




Erica followed him to his office that was now lit and much cooler than the holding cell. “I think this job is quite fun, and would enjoy staying with you.”




Red gave her a piece of paper that read the rules and penalties it was the contract she had to sign in order to stay. “Sign this and you can stay, but if you mess up too many times… You will be suspended or even fired from the agency.”




Erica signed her name on the dotted line that said signature. “You don’t have to tell me what I already read on the contract alright? It’s not my first job I know how to work. Now can I see the next assignment please?”




Red opened a drawer full of files and picked one at random. “Here take this one, and don’t tell me what it is either. This is your case; we can’t get involved in this one… Just be careful.”

CaptainWilliam
September 7th, 2010, 10:16 PM
I'm guessing I can't paste anything... And I have to Type it instead.