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MrDudley
August 29th, 2010, 09:53 PM
Hello everyone, I'm a young actor and as an incentive to keep interest in a course my teacher asked me to write our final performance as she knew my passion for writing. I was given a week to write it and 3 months to direct it.

Basically the play was an enormous success and I now want to expand it and re-write it to re-do it for a play festival.

The stage directions are extremely garish and the play was forced to incorporate physical theatre so that's why there's a bit of direction focusing on dance.

I know that the format is dreadful as well I've done it in a very amateur fashion so I apologise if it's hard to read.

It's also very British so some of it may not transfer too well.

Please give me feedback and ideas for advancing this piece. A lot of this play is subtext in case they seem random


Welcome to Purgatory


(OPENING Jasper walks out to the front like the president would at a speech, he looks through his notes.)

Jasper: If I was in charge...If I was in charge Crime Watch would have more gags, because its quite depressing isnt it?

(Next to Jasper the others are acting out all the things hes saying.)

(Crimewatch scene.)

Narrator: And the womans body was found in the bin.

Presenter: Well she was a bit down in the dumps wasnt she?

Co Presenter: (Laughs.) Oh you are terrible! (Shakes her head chuckling.) The next story is about a man who was attacked in Leeds seven nights ago, he was repeatedly kicked in the head, he is now in a coma.

Presenter: Blimey! Aint that a kick in the head! (The song aint that a kick in the head comes on as a man gets viciously attacked and the presenters begin laughing and dancing with eachother.)

Jasper: If I was in charge, the school of hard knocks would be given millions in funding! If I was in charge FaceBook would be abolished!

Teenage girl: (Dancing and raving to club music.) Oh wow! This is so much fun! This is the most fun Ive ever had in my life, I must get to facebook to update my status to tell others of this amazing fun Im having!! (She rushes off excited!)

Jasper: If I was in charge, nobody would have ever seen any comedy show ever

Man: (Walks up to another.) Did you watch Never Mind The Buzzcocks last night?

Man 2: Um, yeah.

Man: (Upset.) Aww...Did you watch Never Mind The Buzzcocks last week?

Man 2: Um no I didnt.

Man: (Excited.) Oh no me neither but listen to this joke I just made up, imagine Bill Bailey is sat opposite me and my name was Phil Jupitus...

Jasper: If I was in charge being in love would be an illness you could cure with a jab, if I was in charge bodies would build up an immunity against pain and suffering, if I was in charge She has to be 16 to be legal would legally be changed to If theres a sight of muff shes definitely old enough! If I was in charge people who watch Two Pints Of Lager and A Packet Of Crisps and laughs would be shot dead! If I was in charge my hairline wouldnt recede. If I was in charge words like Commitment and Monogamy would have died out in the late 40s alongside poetry and the fear of Hitler. If I was in charge procreation and property accumulation wouldnt be the ultimate goal in the pursuit of a satisfactory life. If I was in charge love songs would all be dripping in irony! If I was in charge Political Correctness would be referred to in British History as the Ron Davies (Moment of madness) of the 21st centaury. If I was in charge life would be like a stroll in the park on a summers day with a can of cold frothy Guinness. If I was in charge life would be like Big Brother if youre a **** youre out!! If I was in charge my laptop would do exactly what I tell it to and not whatever the ****ing hell it likes! If I was in charge...

Jasper: (Puts his notes down.) But Im not in charge am I? None of us are truly in charge of anything. The system is dead. Anarchy reigns supreme as it always has done, need we be reminded. One man cant make the difference so why should he? We live for the end result of death, the bit inbetween birth and death is what we live to get our reward, is the true reward in death? Our time in this vessel is purely our passage to Heaven? If so then it truly means that we live to die.


(SCENE 1. A light shines in the middle of the stage, the sound of a car screeching and crashing. A thud is heard, the sound of commotion from passers by is heard, screams, shock. Jasper falls into this light, (A classical piece of music comes on at this point, a holy presence.) As this music plays the light spreads to reveal people coming towards Jasper gracefully, with a calming soothing presence, they begin to lift Jasper up gently into this light above, as they do this other people come across dressed in black, they are sniggering and much less graceful in the way they move, they begin to claw around Jaspers corpse, dragging him back down towards the floor, as the two battle to lift Jasper to heaven or hell, the demons manage to get Jasper to the floor, and begin to drag him off, as they do they look above and in fear they leave him to the floor, and all but Jasper leave into the darkness.)
(BLACKOUT.)

(Scene 2. The lights rise as every body in the room is in a freeze frame Jasper looks around his surroundings, hes unsure of what to make of this situation.)

Jasper: Hello?! (Walks towards another frozen person.) Hello?! (Waves his hands in front of another.) HELLO?! Are you deaf or just plain ****ing ignorant?! (Still no answer. He walks up to another and just as he does...)

Frozen person: (Violently bursts out of the freeze frame and in an over the top fashion.) CARNIVALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

(As they shout Jasper falls to his back in shock.)

All together: CARNIVAL TIME!

(Carnival music comes on as they all begin to dance and move, as this movement is going on someone brings out a chair that would be seen in a dentists room. A table is wheeled out to the side of this chair, this table has a electric drill and various other tools.)

Frozen person: (Viciously and menacingly shouts.) STOPPPPPPPP!!!
(The music stops straight away, the others crawl to the floor in fear of this person, they crawl away and all move into the foetal position shivering and shaking.)

(The aforementioned frozen person puts on a white doctors coat and turns into a doctor.)

Doctor: (Pulls out a notebook.) Chair!

Jasper: What?

Doctor: CHAIR NOW!!

(Jasper scared rushes up to the chair and sits in it.)

Doctor: (Sickly sweet fashion.) Now what is your name?

Jasper: Jasper. Where am I?

Doctor: (Sweet sickly still yet authoritive.) All questions shall be answered after the procedure is over and done with.

Jasper: Procedure?

Doctor: (Ignores his question.) Form of entertainment! What form of entertainment would you like whilst the procedure takes place?

Jasper: What do you mean form of entertainment?!

Doctor: You get the choice of a group of wonderful and experienced can-can dancers, can they can-can? Of course they can-can! (Laughs at the joke boisterously) or you get a stand up comedian, or you get an old copy of heat magazine! Choose!

Jasper: Um...

Doctor: Tick tock! Tick tock! Tick tock!

Jasper: Alright the stand up comedian!! Now what is this procedure?!

Doctor: (To audience.) And now we have the wonderful comedy stylings of Gary Broad!

(Typical northern comedian, in the style of Peter Kay, comes on with a microphone, as he comes to the front of where Jasper is, he begins to talk to the audience.)

(In the background the others stop shivering and shaking on the floor, they get up and all take a weapon from the table.)

Jasper: What are you doing?!

(They all crowd around Jasper, drilling noises begin, Jasper begins to scream in pain, blood is spurting over the top of the people crowding Jasper. Whilst all this is going on the stand up comedian begins his act.)

Gary Broad: I tell you what cockers, I tell you what the world isnt just full of arseholes, oh no! The other day someone complimented me on my driving! Oh yes! They just left a little note on my windscreen, just said, Parking Fine! so that was nice of them ay?! Ay?! Ho-ho! Oh yes! Whats going on in the news today anyway? I was in Currys the other day, and this bloke came up to me and said, Youre that mad bloke off the telly! I said Oh yes, thats me! he went No! Youre that mad bloke! Off the telly!! hey? Ho-ho!

(Throughout the speech, Jaspers screaming violently in the background.)

Gary Broad: Well cockers youve been a cracking audience! Catch my stand up tour Its funny cos Im Northern! or you can even buy this set on DVD for 12.99 on Monday, special features include exclusive never before seen footage, including me eating a yoghurt, and me being slightly irked by a neighbour who ignores my attempt at a high five! Ho-ho! The hilarity! Goodnight all!

(Gary Broad exits, as he does Jaspers screaming stops they move away, as
Doctor holds out a DVD, Jasper has blood over his head.)

(The others grab Jasper in different parts of his body and lift him up, and throw him towards the centre.)

(As they throw him down, they all begin laughing in a booming tone, as they laugh more and more it gets higher and higher and higher, until a voice screeches.)

Mr Hopper: STOP!!!
(They all stop at once and all, including the doctor, skulk off into the foetal position and begin shivering and sobbing.)

(Mr Hopper walks through, hes dressed in a unique over the top fashion, similar to the mad hatter, he walks towards the doctor.)

Mr Hopper: (Clicks his fingers and holds his hand out in anticipation.)
(The doctor nervously holds out the DVD, as Mr Hopper takes it, he examines the case and bites into the case and then eyes it up!)

(He walks towards Jasper.)

Mr Hopper: (He picks Jasper up menacingly and looks as if hes about to attack him. He then begins dancing and singing.) You put your right leg in, your right leg out! (Shouting manically.) IN! OUT! IN! OUT! YOU SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT!! You do the hokey cokey and you turn around thats what its all about!!! (He stops and does Jazz hands ant Jasper who is bemused. Mr Hopper leaves an uncomfortable pause, then manically bursts out laughing as he says) Im just joshing with you! Ha-ha-ha! I just wanted to see what youd do ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Jasper: Ok, now Im only going to ask this one more time! Where am I?!

Mr Hopper: (Calmly.) You dear boy, are in purgatory! That is where you are! (Questions himself.) Is it? Yes it is! Oh ok thank you!

Jasper: (In shock at the madness of Mr Hopper.) Ok! And you are?

Mr Hopper: I am a man! Well am I? I mean technically you could say in fact I was more then a man, but then again on the other hand you could say that I was less then a man! I dont know the mechanics of it all! But I am a thing sat in front of you right now! (Thinks about it.) Yes, they are facts.

Jasper: Ok, well heres a question I hope and pray will be responded to with a serious answer, but Im prepared to be disappointed, what am I doing here?

Mr Hopper: (Is about to answer then as he does, he notices his watch and gets distracted by it.) Look at that! Have you seen that! Look at my watch! Look at the shine on that! They dont make them like that anymore do they?! Look at it! (Shoves it in Jaspers face.)

Jasper: Well it doesnt work!

Mr Hopper: Meaning?

Jasper: Well its stopped hasnt it! The hands on the watch arent moving!

Mr Hopper: That does not, by any means, mean that it is broke! It doesnt work in the way you would naturally assume a watch works but in the way that I naturally assume a watch works it works fine and dandy! You see sir! Time does not work in the context that world would have you believe down here, it just simply (Pause) Doesnt work! (Laughs manically.) Funny isnt it?
Jasper; Forgive me for not getting the joke.

Mr Hopper: So naturally youd be wondering why you were here, I for one am shocked you havent asked sooner!

Jasper: I...

Mr Hopper: (Interrupts.) SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT THE **** UP!!

(Silence as Mr Hopper has his head in his hands, he looks up grinning.) I hate being interrupted, its a quirk youll learn to love lets go!

Jasper: Where?

Mr Hopper: We are going on a journey! A journey! A journey! Arent you excited sir! Isnt your body and heart just vibrating in excitement?! Or are you just a hard man to please! (Walks away then walks back.) Or excite for that matter! (Brings back the dvd.) This is your life! Everything youve done, every thought youve ever had, everything is on this disc! This disc is you! And you are this disc!

Jasper: Im that disc?

Mr Hopper: YES! HO-HO! We are going to look through your life you see! We look and we learn! We decide your fate! Heaven! Hell! I dont know about you but Im excited!

Voice: We look through the good and the bad, we decide your fate.

(Jasper looks as Miss Snow walks out.)

Mr Hopper: Pretty much what I said!! Now Im too excited to wait much longer!!

Miss snow: Have you told him the basics?

Mr Hopper: (Impatient) Of course! Of course! Lets watch!!

Miss snow: We will go through your life Jasper, we will come to a decision on whether or not you spend your eternity in heaven or hell.

Mr Hopper: Its like deal or no deal! (Pause.) Except its nothing like deal or no deal.

(He puts the DVD in the DVD player, as it comes on.)

(That DVD advert comes on You wouldnt steal a car etc.)

(It opens up on A woman in a hospital giving birth.)

Mr Hopper: Lets fast forward this boring ****!

(He presses a button on the remote to make it fast forward, as he does it fast forwards through Jaspers life with key events in Jasper growing up, it stops as Jasper, his wife and there baby boy, his son and daughter are on a fishing boat, the song Raindrops keep falling comes on the atmosphere is perfect, they watch Jasper fishing as they are all smiling, as it appears Jasper has caught something he begins to struggle to get it, his family then begin to get behind him as they all try to pull on the rod swaying backwards and forwards, they are all chuckling about this, until out of the water appears a sea monster, they all reel back in shock.)

Sea monster: Jasper Felix Walker?

Jasper: Yes?

Sea monster: You are to be faced with a choice.

Jasper: A choice?

Sea monster: Yes a choice, you can either sacrifice yourself, let yourself be devoured by me, and spend eternity in my gristle filled stomach! Or you can choose to send your beautiful wife, your bouncing boy, your gorgeous girl, and your bouncing baby to line my hungry stomach.

Jasper: (Pause.) Not really a great choice is it?

Sea monster: CHOOSE!

Jasper: Ok! Ok! Well Ive always seen myself as an honourable man with good, sound, honest intentions, and when faced with the opportunity to do the right thing I know what to do! (Pause as he walks towards the mouth of the sea monster.)

Jasper: (Pauses as he nobly intakes a breath.) (Casual tone.) Take them! Yeah, to be honest I dont think this family thing has been working out too well! (Picks up his baby.) Ok say good bye to Daddy. (Throws baby down the mouth, as he starts leading the rest to be eaten by the sea monster.) Darling sorry and all that, but (Pause) You know how it is. (She falls down to be eaten by the sea monster.) Well thats them all!

Sea monster: Thank you!

Jasper: Not a problem.

Sea monster: Before I go, (Pause) Have you ever seen the show Lost?

Jasper: The one on the island?

Sea monster: Yeah, its just a shark I sometimes knock about with was telling me how good it was, and I cant really trust his judgement, he thinks Eddie Murphys funny so you know?

Jasper: I could never get into it, to be honest, one of them ones that youve got to watch from the start.

Sea monster: Watch from the start yeah, ah well.

Jasper: You can get it cheap on DVD.

Sea monster: Ill look into it if its cheap enough. Well I best be off! Lots of humans waiting to be eaten.

Jasper: I know the feeling, Im a working man myself.

Sea monster: No time to relax is there?

Jasper: Oh no. Its nice to get days like this where you can just sit with a rod you know?

Sea monster: Ive inconvenienced you on your day off by eating your family havent I?

Jasper: Hey! Dont worry about it man, youre just doing your job.

Sea monster: Yeah, I mean if I couldve avoided eating your family I would of.

Jasper: Oh I know mate, dont worry about it hey?

Sea monster: Its rare to see such a polite man in this business, it really is.

Jasper: Always been complimented n my manners, ha-ha.

Sea monster: Well I best be off, see you mate.

Jasper: Yeah, yeah take care.

(The sea monster swims off, as Jasper stands alone, he picks his rod back up, and begins fishing again as the music comes back on.)

(BLACKOUT.)

(Cuts back to purgatory.)

Mr Hopper: That was fun wasnt it ho-ho-ho!! Was it? Yes it was! shut up!!

Miss snow: You werent around much for them were you Jasper? You always seemed to have something else getting in the way didnt you?

Jasper: Listen! Whatever you say! I loved them!

Mr Hopper: Did you hear that everyone HE LOVED THEM!! HA-HA-HA! I WOULD TAKE THE TIME OUT TO LAUGH AT THAT BUT IM MORE INTERESTED IN THE WAY ONE OF MY LEGS SEEMS LONGER THEN THE OTHER WHEN I WALK LIKE THIS HA-HA! (He begins walking around stretching his legs out in front of him.)

Miss Snow: Love is a full time job Mr Walker, love is not something where you can say Oh I dont feel like turning up today you love 24/7.

Mr Hopper: Love is a myth designed by them people who make Valentines Day cards!!

(Miss Snow grabs Jasper by the hand, she leads him towards the front as they dance to soft soothing music, this will involve lifts.)

Miss Snow: (After they finish dancing.) Yes, there is love in you. Its hidden. Its hidden well, but its there. I see it in your eyes, but you try and hide it. Why do you try and hide it?

Jasper: I dont!

Miss Snow: Your wife, she loved you. All she ever wanted was your love back.

Jasper: I did love her! Some people express love differently thats all!

(Jaspers wife comes out in front of him.)

Wife: (Walks about aimlessly. As she tries to get towards Jasper she is constantly being blocked by people) He was my North, my south, my east and my west, he was my reason to wake up each morning, he was the one who stopped my heart merely beating out of habit, he was a saviour, each day Id thank God that hed let our paths collide. Whenever he left I was nothing, I became a lost soul, I smiled, I laughed, I did all the things your supposed to do to show that this pain isnt carving you up inside! When you have that gift, the gift of being with the one, when its taken away from you, you find yourself wishing for the grave, you walk to the ledge, you look down at that drop and then (Pause) What if?! What if? pops up in your mind! And that hope, that maybe somehow hell come back, is all that sustains you; its all that keeps you fighting.

(She walks off aimlessly again.)

Jasper: (Pause)
(Cut to a scene involving Jasper fighting a drunken man with swords, this then stops being a sword fight and becomes a physical theatre fight this like all of these events is symbolic in the way that in this case it is Jasper fighting his alcoholism.)

(Jasper in a Alcoholics anonymous room, Jasper walks in as he does everyone else sat in the circle are acting in an over the top surreal fashion, as Jasper acts naturalistically throughout, this is to show the alien nature of this situation as a man is forced to face up to the monster he has become. As jasper says his speech everyone is still acting over the top and in a demonic fashion)

Jasper: Why do I drink? I drink because...I want to forget...I want to forget about the way Ive treated people, the way Ive hurt them...the way my 2 year old son flinches every time I reach for a can...the way my wife has to become the most clumsiest person in the world to keep up appearances with the neighbours. Bu I drink because its all I know anymore...the last time I saw my oldest son, the very last time. (Jasper stands up and walks over to his son who is stood opposite him, they look at eachother.)

Billy: (Son.) Dad if you have one more drink, then thats it Im leaving.

(Jasper drunkenly stumbles to a bottle of Vodka sat on a table, as he does the forces try to pull him back, repeating words of encouragement to him that people have said in the past, he looks as if hes trying to fight it, he eventually relents and takes a drink.)

Billy: Youve shown who you really are! (Pause) Now I know.

Jasper: (Drunkenly ranting.) This who I am Billy boy! This is me, and you can **** off for all I care, because as long as Ive got my old friend Jack Daniels with me. Who needs a ****ing son ay?! You see cos I may be a drunken piss artist today, but you Billy, you will always be a disappointment!

(He drunkenly laughs at his himself, as Billy leaves. His laughter turns into tears so he reaches for the bottle again. He then sobrely stands up and goes back into the circle where everyone returns to acting demonic around him.)

Jasper: I want help...I need help, I want someone to kill this monster inside me.

( TEMPTATION.The scene changes, Jasper is on a chair with women dancing around him, like a strip club, the music playing is a soft sensual song, everyone is moving in slow motion as they dance slowly and flirtatiously around all the men in this club.)

Woman: (Comes over to Jasper with a tray.) Would you like some chocolate sir?

Jasper: Im trying to watch my figure.

Woman: One little chocolate, what harm could it do?

Jasper: (Pause) Oh go on then! (She gives him chocolate.)

Woman: (Another tray.) Would you like a glass of wine sir?

Jasper: A glass of wine? I really shouldnt.

Woman: One little glass of wine, what harm could it do?

Jasper: (Pause) Oh alright, why not. (Takes a glass of wine.)

Woman: (Comes back over with a tray.) Would you like a cigar sir?

Jasper: A cigar? Im trying to quit smoking you see, so I probably shouldnt.

Woman: One little cigar, what harm could it do?

Jasper: (Pause) Why the hell not! Ha-ha.

(Takes the cigar.)

Woman: (Comes back over with the tray.) Would you like an injection of heroin sir?

Jasper: Heroin? I dont know, its quite more-ish is heroin innit?

Woman: One little injection of heroin, what harm could it do?

Jasper: (Pause.) Oh youve twisted my arm, go on then!

(She injects heroin into his arm.)

Woman: (Comes back with a woman.) Would you like a prostitute for the night sir?

Jasper: A prostitute? Um, I dont know, its just my wife and all that.

Woman: One little crack addled prostitute, what harm could it do?

Jasper: (Pause.) Oh go on! Youre too persuasive for me ha-ha!

(She gives him the prostitute.)

Woman: (Comes back over to Jasper.) Would you like to run away from your wife and kids and start a new life in Spain, with this barely legal teen with a cracking set of tits sir?

Jasper: Run away from my wife and kids and move to Spain with a barely legal teen with a cracking set of tits? Um, I dont know Im sure there would be inevitable complications.

Woman: Running away to Spain with a barely legal girl with a cracking set of tits sir, what harm could it do?

Jasper: (Pause) Why the **** not, I should treat myself once in a while!

(An alarm clock starts buzzing loudly. They freeze.)


(Mr Hopper has paused the DVD.)

Mr Hopper: Thats mildly inconvenient! ENTERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

(A man is dragged to the front of Mr Hopper and Miss Snow.)

Mr Hopper: Sir, sir, sir! Evening! How have you found purgatory?

Man: Um, its a bit samey.

Mr Hopper: Is it?! Well sir, you have come to the end of your time in purgatory, you have been here (Looks at watch.) 1000 years!

Man: (Shock.) No!

Mr Hopper: (Laughs.) You certainly have! Ha-ha, now we can all have a little guess where youre going!!

Man: (Realises where hes going.) No! No! Please no!

Mr Hopper: (Jumps up excited.) THE ROOM OF THE DEAD!!

Man: (Falls to his knees.) NO!

Jasper: (To Miss Snow.) Whats the room of the dead?

Miss Snow: Its worse then hell, imagine being blind and death but still aware, still thinking, still breathing. If you choose to spend the 1000 years in purgatory then that is the fate that awaits you after.

Jasper: (Shock.) ****ing hell! Why would anyone choose to spend the 1000 years here?!

Miss Snow: (Doesnt answer.)

(The people who vacate this room get up and slowly get The Man dressed in his smartest clothes, they do this in a dance form, as they get him ready to be sent to the room of the dead. The song Sewn by The Feeling is playing, they eventually get him ready and pull him towards this room, he bravely enters, a silence and then a howling scream from the man is heard.)

Mr Hopper: (Laughing.) I never get tired of that scream!!

Jasper: Thats it! Im done! I want out!

Miss Snow: Please sit down.

Jasper: No! Ive had it! Send me to hell, **** it! You know what, I deserve it!!
I am scum! Youve seen it all! All through my life people have tried to love me and care about me and all I ever did was throw that love back in there faces!

Miss Snow: Please sit down!

(Jasper goes up to Mr Hopper.)

Jasper: Take me to hell.

Mr Hopper: (Calmly.) Sit down Mr Walker.

Jasper: Are you deaf?! I said (shouts) TAKE ME TO HELL!!

Mr Hopper: (Pauses as he looks furious. He walks a few paces away and looks back, he then calmly says.) Do you know what I like best about McDonalds happy meals? (Pause) The toy! I love it! I do! I love playing with that toy! Ho-ho! Its a meal designed to make you happy isnt it? And thats where the joy lies, in that little bit of plastic! Am I happy now though? Answer: No! And its not because of a lack of a happy meal, oh no! Usually thats the sole reason Im ever unhappy, but today its different! Today I feel like I am going to rip someones throat out! And why, they ask? Do they? Yes they do! (Pause.) Because of you! (Points to Jasper.)

(He walks over to Jasper and looks as if hes about to whack him and as Jasper cowers Mr Hopper bursts out laughing.) Oh Im terrible ha-ha-ha!

Miss snow: (Holds Jaspers hand.) I want to show you one last thing.

(They walk as they see Jaspers wife in the centre in a hospital bed, she looks desperately ill.)

Wife: (To a passing doctor.) Is he on his way?

Doctor: Mrs Walker, the second he gets here Ill send him straight up here I promise.

Wife: Thank you.

(Shes left alone.)

Wife: (Begins softly singing When I fall in love by Nat King Cole.)

Jasper: (As he and Miss Snow watch on.) That was our song.

(Past Jasper rushes in.)

Jasper: Hello sweetheart, (Kisses her on the forehead.) I came as soon as I heard, parking was a bit of a nightmare, but Im here now!

Wife: Thank you.

Jasper: Look Im going to get the best doctor, down here right away ok, dont you worry about that!

(Jasper goes on the phone as he turns his back on his wife, she begins to breathe heavily, an group of angels come across as this happens a light shines down upon her as they gently lift her up towards it she dies and is took to heaven.)

Jasper: (Stood with Miss Snow crying as he watches his past self walk out of the room on the phone and his wife dying.) I never told her...I never told her how much I did love her...My whole life I was never nice to anyone unless there was something in it for me...and the fact that someone else, another human being loved me, in spite of me...thats...thats something else.

(The scene fades away as Jasper is back with Miss Snow & Mr Hopper.)

Jasper: (Pause as he sobs.) I ****ed it all up! I was a selfish addict! And I was never there for anyone.


Mr Hopper: You did drop the ball once or twice Jasper its got to be said! Its a good job you werent a ****ing goalkeeper! HA-HA! Did you hear my joke?! Do you want me to say it again?!

Jasper: (Ignores him.) I deserve to go to hell...

Mr Hopper: ANSWER ME!! DID YOU HEAR MY JOKE?!

Jasper: (Still cant hear him as Mr Hopper jumps around trying to get his attention.) I just wish...I wish I had the chance to tell her...that I did love her.

Miss Snow: So often do we only discover our true nature when its too late...thats when we think about the What ifs.

Jasper: (To himself.) The what ifs. (Pause as he gets up Mr Hopper still tries to get his attention.) Take me to hell please.

Miss Snow: (As Jasper walks away.) You still have one more choice to make.

(Jasper looks at Miss Snow.)

(BLACKOUT.)

(The lights go up as Jasper and his wife are dancing to the song When I fall in love, this is a very intimate dance they do together involving lifts, as others dance around symbolising that the love they both had has finally come out in the open.)

(As the song is about to finish.)

Jasper: (Softly) I love you.

(BLACKOUT. A car crash sound is heard, a man is thrown into the middle, this is the exact same scene as the first except for its a different man.)

(The man walks around all the frozen people.)

Man: Hello?! Hello?! Can anyone tell me where I am?!

(Jasper who is huddled in a ball with his back to the audience springs up.)

Jasper: CARNIVALLLLLLLL!!!!

(BLACKOUT.)

The End.