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Jon M
August 25th, 2010, 06:31 PM
[under construction]

Jon M
August 26th, 2010, 06:33 AM
[under construction]

DarkxxArts
August 26th, 2010, 10:32 AM
I'm not familiar with the critique of scripts, but I must say, the dialogue alone has quite a build up. I felt an eerie aspect in the Man's lofty appreciation of "it". I, however, have only one complaint, it ended. Please write more.

Jon M
August 27th, 2010, 02:34 AM
Glad you enjoyed the dialogue. I was hoping to convey some of THE MAN'S personality in his speech -- eerie, like you said, desperate, and perhaps a little delusional.

More to come.

Foxryder
August 27th, 2010, 03:04 PM
Intriguing work, FS. From a few dialogues, the Man's character is gradually ushered in. The suspense in the whole writing has been laid down so naturally. But I really wonder who this man is? :)

Jon M
August 28th, 2010, 02:38 AM
[editing]