View Full Version : Darkness

August 21st, 2010, 10:53 PM

This is part of a chapter introducing a character named Kristina. Let me know what you think.


"What is that you're wearing?" Kristina's mother asked from the door. She never knocked on the door, no matter how many times Kristina screamed about it.
"They're my clothes, Mom." Kristina said, reining in her temper.
"They look like they're ten sizes to big. I can't imagine how they stay on when you walk."
"Mom," Kristina said, her voice rising. "It's the fashion, just like they had big hair and sweat bands when you were my age."
"The fashion, huh?" her Mother said with a skeptical look. "More like the fashion for sluts and pot-heads."
Kristina lost the battle with her temper. "Fuck you!" she screamed and stalked over to slam the door in her mothers face, locking it as quick as possible. Her Mom immediately began to pound on the door, a familiar sound that Kristina ignored.

There was a mirror on the inside of her bedroom door and in it Kristina took in her grungy appearance. She didn't like the baggy pants or the too-large shirts with the arms torn off. She hated that you could see her bra from the sides when she moved her arms. It was what her friends wore, though. And her friends were all she had.

The pounding on her door suddenly stopped as her Mom gave up and left. Just like Kristina had known she would. She finished getting ready in silence, applying her makeup dark and thick until her eyes came close to looking bruised and she could tell she had it on right. She was ready to go before she looked at digital alarm clock on her dresser and realized that she had finished an hour too early. Putting on her headphones, she turned on her secret playlist, a piano solo that liked to listen to when stress became an issue. She flopped on the bed and tried to relax, knowing that she had a long night ahead.

Kristina woke with a start and looked at the clock.
"Dammit," she said and bolted out of the bed, yanking the headphones out of her ears. Grabbing her hidden pack of cigarettes, she stuffed them in her back pocket and turned off the lights. The window opened with practiced ease and she slipped out into the night.

It was a hot night, a smothering heat that seemed to radiate up from the ground. The sky was overcast and the single street lamp in sight let off only a feeble glow. She lit a cigarette as she left even that tiny pocket of light behind, shuddering at the darkness. She would rather have stayed at home in her bed but there was a party tonight and her friends had convinced her to go.

Rounding the corner, she let out a sigh of relief when she saw Whitney's beat up car parked on the side of the road. The pungent smell of marijuana smoke wafted out of the car as she approached.
"Hey," Kristina said as she slipped into the back seat.
"We've been waiting for fucking forever," Whitney said in her annoyingly nasal voice. Kristina knew how to deal with Whitney.
"Sorry Whit," she said. "My Mom wouldn't leave me alone about my clothes."
"Oh," Whitney began. "My Mom lets me wear whatever I want. She even bought me a new pair of jeans today and helped me cut the holes in the knees..." Kristina let her prattle on, lateness forgotten and replaced by Whitney's love to talk about how cool her Mom was. It was Kristina's time-tested technique to curb Whitney's often illogical explosions. Get her talking about her Mom or herself and a gunshot to the leg wouldn't stop her.

Sarah was in the passenger seat and, preoccupied with rolling a joint, had so far said nothing. The flash of her lighter outlined her face as she lit the joint and took a hit. Kristina hated marijuana, it made her nauseous. The only times she had actually taken a real hit, the high hadn't been worth the discomfort. Sarah handed the joint back between the seats and Kristina pretended to take a hit, taking a puff and holding it in her mouth instead of her lungs. She almost gagged before she could blow it out and hand the joint to Whitney, who took a hit while driving like an expert. That's probably the only thing she's good at, Kristina thought, that and gossiping.

They arrived at the party and had to park a block away in order to find a parking spot, but they could still hear the thump of music from even that far away. Whitney and Sarah were both stoned with that typical lethargic giggling that always marked good weed. Kristina was glad that she hadn't taken real hits, her stomach was upset even without it.

"Maybe Jesse will be here," Whitney said as they walked down the sidewalk.
"Oooh, Kristina would like that." Sarah responded.
"I don't even like him," Kristina said. "How many times do I have to say that before you guys will believe me?" That wasn't true, Kristina did like Jesse. She liked him a lot, he was the only guy that she didn't feel like was just trying to get into her pants all the time.
"We know you like him," Whitney said. "It's obvious from the way you stare at him when he's not looking. And you get all shy when he is looking."
"Shut up." Kristina replied and they both laughed.
"Just grab him and suck his dick," Whitney said. "That'll break the ice." They both laughed harder. Kristina didn't find it funny at all.

Kristina saw Jesse as soon as they entered the front door. He was standing with a beer in hand, in front of a staircase that was packed with people. The music pounded at her with a resounding bass that she could feel thumping through her feet. Jesse was laughing when he glanced up and looked right at her. Kristina felt her face heating up and looked away, following Whitney and Sarah into a smoke-filled living room.

She jumped when she felt the hand on her shoulder.
"Whoa," Jesse laughed. "It's just me." He was drunk and she could barely understand him over the music and the slurring of his words.
"Here," he said, holding out a plastic cup. "I got you a drink."
Kristina took the drink without looking at it. Damn, she thought, he's hot... even drunk as hell.
"Drink up," he said in a happy drunk way, "and come chill with me."
Whitney and Sarah were nowhere to be seen. "Ok," she yelled over the music. She took a drink as he led her through the crowd toward the back of the house.


Kristina tried to open her eyes but couldn't. Something was wrong but she couldn't gather her thoughts enough to figure out what it was. Blackness.


Pain brought her a moment of clarity, pain in her groin. She heard grunting, laughing. Felt more pain. The haze took her thoughts away again just as she realized that someone was raping her. Voices rang in her ears, at least two voices. Blackness.


She felt something cold and wet against her side. Briefly, her vision cleared long enough to see the headlights of a car pulling away. She wanted to call out to it but couldn't summon the energy. She realized that she was laying on grass. It was soft and somehow comforting. Blackness.


Blazingly bright lights broke through her eyelids, flashing. The squawk of a police radio pierced the air. She felt herself being lifted and moved onto something soft, warm, and dry. Somewhere, she heard someone sobbing.

August 27th, 2010, 03:16 AM
I almost cried when i read this. I have a close friend that was raped and the confusion in the last paragraphs made me feel for Kristina.

August 27th, 2010, 05:21 AM
I, uh..

August 27th, 2010, 03:15 PM
i dont' knwo what to say,...