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k3ng
July 13th, 2010, 12:36 PM
.

Gumby
July 13th, 2010, 01:55 PM
Oh, this gave me a giggle! My favorite verses:



( I don't know why a cow will do,
I don't know why I say it's so
I don't know why I wrote this too
I should have slept a while ago




I should end here, so tootle-loo
or should I say, tootle-moo.
When given a choice between the two,
sometimes only a cow will do.)

vangoghsear
July 13th, 2010, 03:05 PM
I'd just like to say: "Mooooo."


"I agree, sometimes only a cow will do."

Nice little fun piece. Good rhythm and flow.

You Wont Know Me
July 13th, 2010, 04:12 PM
Haha very nice and fun read


I should end here, so tootle-loo
or should I say, tootle-moo.

Chesters Daughter
July 14th, 2010, 07:14 AM
That last stanza had me laughing like hell. Thanks for sharing, k3ng.

k3ng
July 14th, 2010, 07:55 AM
Glad you guys got a kick out of it.

Oh well. Sometimes only a cow will do.

Cheers guys.

WhitakerRStanton
July 14th, 2010, 05:45 PM
~

MisterSpider
July 14th, 2010, 08:38 PM
Nonsense is my favorite kind of verse. It is very difficult to do well, possibly harder than "serious" verse because you must prevent it from turning into doggerel. I think you've almost succeeded. For one, it's a bit too long. You could delete stanzas 5,6, and 8; the joke gets tedious at those points. Also, it would be nice if there was a bit more wit to it and not just a list of non sequiturs. Maybe some fun with semantics. Take a look at this stanza by Dr. Seuss, who Whitaker mentions above:

How did it get so late so soon?
It’s night before it’s afternoon.
December is here before it’s June.
My goodness how the time has flewn.
How did it get so late so soon?

Here, he plays with meaning and syntax. The "night before it's afternoon" seems impossible, until one realizes that night always comes before afternoon if one considers the previous day. Also note the incorrect conjugation of flown with "flewn." These are subtle things but they provide the mind warp that good nonsense provides.

huni
July 15th, 2010, 05:37 AM
LOL You had me at the title. Then loved the flow, the fun and rhymes. I agree with misterspider, work on this and add the wit it needs and I'd read to my inner child anytime.
drop this,
( I don't know why a cow will do,
I don't know why I say it's so
I don't know why I wrote this too
I should have slept a while ago

I don't quite know what all this brings
I'm not quite sure what, why or how
I don't know why I say these things
I don't know why I chose the cow.

I should end here, so tootle-loo
or should I say, tootle-moo.
When given a choice between the two,
sometimes only a cow will do.)

it belongs in something else, although the last st. could be reworked I think. loved it. huni

J.E. Blackworth
July 15th, 2010, 03:07 PM
The title got me interested immediately. And though this is all "nonsense", I can say that I enjoyed it in many ways.
I love the playing with words in this one. I am very fond of rhymes in poems written in English, and that is simply because I like to recite them out loud. This is definitely one of them; it flows and the rhythm is "reader-friendly" (or "speaker-friendly" more like).
My favourite lines when thinking about reciting;



A cow will do, a cow will do,
no frozen lakes,
no rattlesnakes.