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Gumby
July 10th, 2010, 03:59 PM
removed

SilverMoon
July 10th, 2010, 06:23 PM
Cindy, In your first stanza, I see an innocent girl who's lost her virginity

silken sheets,
stained with blood of innocence
to a man or a boy who falsely worshiped her to relent to his desire.

He had made her feel immortal,
worshipped by eyes, hands, lips-
This line really causes me to have compassion for this girl who once, not long ago, must have felt like a goddess. I'm glad you italisized "human" as it strongly drives home the sad point that she "has" fallen of the pedestal he made for her. To be "feel" human again, knowing of her folly.

Now fallen, empty; human

A beautful yet sad poem. And only some realize that there is beauty in sadness when rendered on the page.
This poem examples this. A wonderful, touching read. Laurie

Gumby
July 13th, 2010, 03:37 PM
Thank you Laurie, you summed it up perfectly. :)

un named
July 13th, 2010, 08:31 PM
I really like this poem especially the first stanza, and i agree with laurie its beautiful and sad.

Gumby
July 13th, 2010, 09:21 PM
Ah, youthful indescretions. They can certainly mark us for the rest of our lives. Thankfully we can usually come to terms with them and maybe even offer a little wisdom to our youth.

Thanks for your comments, un named

Chesters Daughter
July 14th, 2010, 02:06 AM
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Brilliantly captured, love. Far too many of us are fooled by the seemingly true words of false prophets. So many left behind to clean up the ashes. I could rant for fourteen paragraphs, but I won't. I don't understand the caps for shepherd's crook, lower case is far more deserving, but I think you are trying to indicate the depth of his power over her. If so, I stand corrected. An excellent and very moving piece, love, your progression brings joy to my heart. Write on, dear Cindy!

Gumby
July 14th, 2010, 05:45 AM
Thanks again Lisa. I actually used those caps as a sort of ironic title, or name. He is certainly is deserving of the crook part. :( I knew you would have sympatico with my poor little lamb.