View Full Version : - Anthem 234 -

July 1st, 2010, 03:58 PM
Note: It ain't "Dave" (Reitman: Kevin-Sigourney-Frank-Ben...), nor "Bulworth", even...) - H'H.
__________________________________________________ _________________________

...As Easy as 2-
3-4, Gangers! the skywrite
blaise Come Celebrate
slated hoot for yu, yoo, yhue,

& nancies' two, a-
shootin'-off-the-works, awatch
to the thousand pointings...
lights, cameras...uh, pod'n me
would you mind...with the backdrop

of...thanks (not even
Santa!) Yes! On the 4th. day
of the 7th. month
in the noisome nearly-Tri-
spentennial, a day for

all sparkillers t'
Sanctify: Nat'l Grill
An Animal Day
honoring ONE TRILLION for
War (almost the dead, that) weight,

criminal bail-out$
(felonslick gains highfed riggs),
oiled shores (SPF-
234), hyperdkids, Grade-A-Prime
budget cuts (all

grilled out!), Rip-Rop hounds,
illness insurance, pizza,
Splenda (sweeter than
insul'n), lost oxygen,
kitsch, Chinese drywall, Empyre!!...

Woodyalong on
Route 666 'cross divide
your land, our land, howl-
and THEIR LAND not made for you
or yu or yoo or me or

yhu hailing wall-eyed
Americisms: Sell-Sell-
Foreclosures & more... Toy Store,
romcoms (sandbox Sandler), O'-

besity (coming
to ab domen near to yoo),
Championships (a
sale in every flavor!), sports
bevs (slick colors!), Roundup!, beer...

& how to be The
World's Most Interesting Man?
as minds & bodies
devolve by/for a cast of
a dozen, & riant youu up

at The Lake, down on
the farm, the bottom of the
pond...rigged like shadow
budgets' march to Corpwars, yu
rev'ling into the dinsome

(weather'll be fixed) qool!,
like the 6-Pak with a 12-
Pak Activation Window

...It's Summertime-Sum-
beachplay, clime supine
at the deepend (please shower
before...) chlorine wash, eyeballs

redded like Mirdth's gobbed
marsh, the hon'moon's been over
like the Iroquois
nye-agra thunder-water
straits gushing, gushing...gushing

'til Morlde depletes her
blooded golden shower, the
Mother Load shot &
shat... as Nucular Mtn.
& Coal Crypts cough'n-on the

qool, 3D/HD-
30-40 Plasma - rife
peril in the Gulf
whitecola de pecado
en mierda, but deeper

water's horizon...
'Tis Summertime-Summertime-
country-fried American
Spectac-U-Lar Waterburn-
234 actively

made from REAL plastic
toys R US!, chilled-out-grilled-out
Karmaites sparkillers'
immolating shootin'-off
their charcoal-fired woiks, for

the Copa! Copa!
as Mirdth Copa Mundial's...
LeBron LeBrennan's
Ursus Maritimus d'luves,
slick-ery as WD-40+...



July 1st, 2010, 06:10 PM
Anthem...for a moment there I thought you might be hanging out with Ayn Rand. (In a bookish rather than patriotic mood today.) I laugh and hear the "Starstrangled-Oh-Bumber". (If my memory serves me, this is your wording.)

Many themes going on here which create a whole. The Morlde at large. The peril of its landscape, atmosphere, waters and the peril of dignity of its people. Consumers get sucked in again. Animal Rights Acitivists should be knocking on a plenty a door this weekend. Our country and its sense of self-entitlement. Celebrating a nation divided from the Morlde and then the Morlde and at war. Your Poem is a cry out for Morlde PEACE. Your writings. Ironic parables. A new genre. You, a brilliant journeyman.

I am your student, certainly more than the reviewer. Your reader who loves reading in between the lines or in your case defining the lines first, then the exploration. So, I'm off for some puzzle fun. It might turn out to be my odd puzzle but you'll set me straight.

Firstly, I've noticed that you omitt or add letters. The famous example being "Morlde". Invert the W, add an "e" and you have "Worlde." The signifigance of the "e" added? No, matter to me! I just view it as a little trick so as not to make it too easy for your readers. Nevertheless, the word can be fathomed. The transposition of word into a pun.

This brings me to
...As Easy as 2-
Where is the "1"? It's not there because we are not "one" in this Morlde? A people banding together as one with one purpose?
As Easy Achieving "Oneness" is not Easy. Therefore, "1", "one" can not fall into that category.

the skywrite blaise
"blaize", a chemical reaction, "blazing" away in our atmosphere creating pollution.
But all we see is the festivity of the blazing, giving little thought to ecology.

I'm taking a chance here...this is a biggie and should be addresed.
"America spectacular you are"...slated hoot for yu, yoo, yhue. I'm hearing "U-Lar" as "You are". Never mind me!!! Curious as to the "play on".

"sparkillers" a portmanteau word, but meaning "sparkelers" Those innocuous sparkelers we wand around on the Fourth. So, now we're at "sparkelers" Am I correct? An antiphrasing? A word used contrary to its original meaning. If that's the case you have two figures of speech going on in one word. Amazing!
And, Nat'l Grill An Animal Day. Hail! All vegans! Killing is just plain wrong.

all sparkillers t'
Sanctify: Nat'l Grill
An Animal Day
Here we are with consummerism. A theme I see throughout most of your work.
And I'm loving this..."yhu hailing". "you hailing" but I hear" U-Hauling". U-Hauling all the "goods" to Sell-Sell-Sell-Buy Buy-Buy-Buy-Bye. "Bye" as in "nough of all this already?"

yhu hailing wall-eyed
Americisms: Sell-Sell-
While mirdth is about gaitey, I sounds awfully much like "Earth". "redded like Earth's goobbled marsh" Is this about the gaitey of Mirdth? I say, without any sincerity.

redded like Mirdth's gobbed
I need help here! As far as I know, Karmaites might be an anachaism having to do with Islam. And then we have war...sparkillers. spar (sparing) killers

Karmaites sparkillers'
I think my favorite little mysteries of yours! Here's where you omitt a letter. In this case the "O". Voila! "Obesity coming to an abdomen near to you" BRILLIANT!

besity (coming
to ab domen near to yoo),
And we "do" have the most overweight people in the Morlde.

"works" Do I hear Archie Bunker speaking? Then, this would explain allot.

The last line. The most crucial line to a poem. And a big bite, here!
Separation above anything else....


Well, so much for Ayn Rand. You've just kicked Objectivism's butt!

So, now you must tell me everything I've missed and/or misconstrued.

PEACE. Laurie

July 3rd, 2010, 12:10 AM
Laurie - WHEW! Well, certainly some hefty chewin' goin' on... Mostly, you have absorbed the intent of this POMB; where you have adroitly discerned, needs no further comment, as the piece is self-referential; however, I will attempt to clarify the key points of your inquiry -

At the outset, you already knew the etio. of Morlde, occasionally the portrayal is sans "e", employed as a harder view of our Planete; with the added vowel, It attempts to soften the meaning, though maintaining the pejorative, & less-frequently, Morlde` to connote something just-short-of beauty.

2010 minus 1776 = 234; exacting with your assessments of One!

"Blaise" is also blase`

"Spectac-U-Lar" - see "Lar," as well...

Yes, the duple figures of speech, here "sparkillers" a portmanteau employed to connote the "wandy" things & those whom employ them, in all connotations

"Mirdth," another neologism - by Its sonic - a pejorative for (laughable) Earth (see "Landescraped" posted on WF)

"Karmaites" - Consistent with Karma, Karma-Ites (a fictional people appearing real), & carmates, our preoccupation with autos & oil, tenets of the POMB

Yes, "woiks", precisely!

Hope this has told what you've inquired... TY, for the astute attention to my Woik!


July 3rd, 2010, 04:13 AM

OK so I know you've got your own style that you've developed, and at first I was a fan of that. However, this poem comes to me really just as (what is by now) a very tired rant against American consumerism wrapped in a general stylistic voice. There is no correlation between the delivery and the content, and, separated, both of their weaknesses are sort of laid to bare. The style comes away superficial and pointless, and the content is nothing really original or engaging enough to stand on its own. Sorry.

go home
July 3rd, 2010, 08:07 PM
Wow, that was a not-too-specific deprecation.

After Silver Moon's second paragraph makes it very clear that content which goes far beyond a rant against consumerism IS available (obvious?) to other readers, I'm wondering how you missed it.

I also would (and will) argue with:
There is no correlation between the delivery and the content, and, separated, both of their weaknesses are sort of laid to bare.

You don't think the pacing/structure here echoes the freneticism of what's being described? Scrambled words for scrambled thoughts/lives/minds, interruptions of interruptions? I couldn't agree less that the style, employed to this end, has become either superficial or pointless.

As far as the content not being original or engaging--yes, these world crises do tend to repeat, and after a while (decades? centuries?) become tiresome.

July 5th, 2010, 01:32 PM
paintedglasses - TY for the attention to my Work, I am sorry to lose you as a fan; however, what puzzles me are the phrases " general stylistic voice" (oxymoron), "no correlation between delivery and the content, and, separated, both of their weaknesses are sort of laid to bare" (redundant [& laid to bare what?] ), "and the content is nothing really original or engaging enough to stand on Its own" (if you care to, re-read SilverMoon's in-depth summation & my reply; & the subsequent, eloquently-stated observations of go home which directly address, chew-on & expectorate your perceived issues); as for this POMB's being for "American Consumerism?", would that It were only that, & begs, how extensive has your foray been into my Work? OK. H'H.

July 5th, 2010, 01:50 PM
Hello, go home - Would that I had your facility to perceive meaning, tenor, & intent...in verse; TY for this most pointed & timely ergotism of my Work. Like a deft verbisector, your comprehension is detailed, laying bare both the essentials of the POMB & the misconceptions of Its detractor with a few well-informed thrusts of the proverbial cyberpen... It is every Scald's sought adopto pretium - H'H.

July 7th, 2010, 06:23 PM
I always feel like I've just survived a tornado when I read one of your poems! :) My poor brain gets a work out certainly. Truly appreciate what you have to say, thank you H.H.!