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un named
June 24th, 2010, 02:01 AM
hope is lost
but these tears won't fall
not when
goodbye means forever
& this pain is too much
not when
sorry can't be said
because it can't be anything
but over
words can't be spoken
& lies can't be told
this friendship ran much to deep
too sudenly just break.
pride is overated
but the words won't come out
&& the one peson who knows
you better than any one
sudenly becomes
someone you use to know

SilverMoon
June 24th, 2010, 11:35 AM
un named, it's Laurie again. A deep relationship then, "crash". Where did it go? And heartbreak is almost a universal theme in Poetry. So many of the Greats have written about it. And I like the way you break up your lines. You give your poem great impact this way. I see talent here.

Keep writing and posting. There are more people here than you think who write about the feelings of feeling lost concerning a broken relationship.

Again, please keep writing. Don't let your talent go to waste! Laurie

un named
June 25th, 2010, 02:07 AM
thanks for all the coments :) and kind words.