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C Curtis
June 20th, 2010, 03:34 PM
In an especially bad month;
disease diagnosis
cheated mood swings
heart palpitations
and some drive-thru meals,
wearing black leather


I left you.


I’m not sure if it was the appropriate thing to have done.
My ‘course of action’ activation button was on the blink at best,
you can attest to this.

Yes, it was a bad month.
The sky had a lazy eye
son.
Mother of a problem with the weather,
complications at most intersections.
Coma-doze and when awake
trying to escape.
Colluding with the daughters,
keys to the get away vehicle left inadvertently in some
far file cabinet on the 10th floor.

He looked like his dad
in the all white sleep cake.
Confessing love and making sense between
messed sheets. Missing points
and bickering.
The smell of pine in the CBD
unsettling.
Uncoupling.
Sterile solution drying out the palms of my hands.

I left him in a bad month,
but he barely got to know me.
Just the girl with the
quick car.
The long list.
The father
in hospital.

Like a Fox
June 20th, 2010, 03:54 PM
Did you write this in 06?
I love it, though I connect to it for obvious reasons. And I'm going to read it a few more times see if I can't get more out of it.
I also loved Rose Petals but felt greater minds could offer more than my feeble "Pretty Words!" feedback. Haha

(We should catch up in the next week or so, I kind of have some time off. xx)

wacker
June 20th, 2010, 10:48 PM
An intriguing piece of work C. Curtis.

You seem to have a way with words. I especially loved the last stanza.


I left him in a bad month,
but he barely got to know me.
Just the girl with the
quick car.
The long list.
The father
in hospital.

It seemed all he was interested in was the sex.

Confessing love and making sense between
messed sheets

He was using his silver tongue to get his way with you. He didn't really pay any attention to what you may have to say... it was unimportant and so were you.

Well that is my take on your poem... enjoy

wacker

C Curtis
June 21st, 2010, 07:07 AM
Like a fox,
Thanks, yes, obviously you understand. I've got some time so it'd be great to catch up. 'Pretty words' isn't as feeble as you'd think... I like 'pretty words' as a crit every now and then! Oh, and I wrote this in 2008, it came from nowhere. I doubt I could have deliberately sat down to write this. It's titled after a PJ Harvey song which I was listening to and when she sings 'bad mouth' it sounds like 'bad month', which lead me to thinking about recent bad months. Poetry as catharsis... and hopefully not too self indulgent.
wacker,
(great screen name btw). Thank you for your feedback, glad you think I weave words well.
Just to clarify, the poem isn't really about sex (well, not between me and the dude in the hospital... that's my dad). It's more about a relationship that never got to start because I was preoccupied with family when dad was sick. Having said that, I can see what you mean.
I love that you could read something else into it; there is no set definition in poetry (to me anyway). Cheers for reading.

wacker
June 21st, 2010, 06:04 PM
I am sorry for misinterpreting the poem. when I said that the person was only interested in sex, I was referring to the girl with the quick car as the focus of the silver tongue. I got the part about your father being in hospital and your attention and concern was completely fixated on his well being and recovery.

SilverMoon
June 21st, 2010, 10:06 PM
C. Much has been said about your poem already so I'm just going to point out turn of phrases I especially liked! A very good poem. Laurie


Yes, it was a bad month.
The sky had a lazy eye
son.


He looked like his dad
in the all white sleep cake.


The smell of pine in the CDB
unsettling.
Uncoupling.