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View Full Version : Forever - more (25.12.2008)



BT6
June 4th, 2010, 02:34 AM
Hi guys, I rarely write anything, infact - this here is the first thing I ever written to completion. I'm extremly emberassed in letting anybody see this, and fearful for the results - which is irrational and irritates me, which is kinda why I am putting it up, I can't stand to be cowed into submission by irrationality.

At any rate, I hope to get some feedback, as I really have no ieda what I'm doing - to me this is jsut a way to get stuff of my chest and self-reflect, kinda.

Here it goes:

Forever - more
--------------

This form is dying - breaking down,
Becomes forgotten - yet another one.

And with each fleeting day you know,
A closure for the day - not long.

But you're at ease - yours is the choice,
To be or not - clears out the noise.

But don't wait long - it comes for all,
A turn to live - forever more.
------------------------------------

Would lvoe to hear feedback. Bad feedback is better then good, since those usually are the ones you can learn from.

Anyways.

alanmt
June 4th, 2010, 03:50 AM
I am not a poet, BT6, so I can't offer any substantive critique. But posting it was the right thing to do. Glad you made that step!

ash somers
June 4th, 2010, 07:09 AM
Hello and welcome to Writing Forums and in particular the Poetry forum, BT6.

At this stage, you may like to introduce yourself by starting a thread in the Introduction forum (http://www.writingforums.com/forumdisplay.php?12-Introduce-Yourself). If that seems daunting, you can post in this thread (http://www.writingforums.com/showthread.php?106816-Introduce-Yourself/page16&p=1358462#post1358462), to give us a bit of an idea of your writing aspirations.

It's also a good idea to check out the links in my signature to help make the most of your time here. A quick tip; to receive feedback, always a good idea to give feedback -- in other words, what goes around will come around. One more quick tip; you may edit your posts at any time by clicking the little pencil at the bottom of each post.

Cheers, and thanks for taking the time to share :)

BT6
June 4th, 2010, 05:31 PM
I am not a poet, BT6, so I can't offer any substantive critique. But posting it was the right thing to do. Glad you made that step!

A poet? Me neither *chuckles* - and yeah, I think so too, I feel much more at peace now with it then before, 's kinda like when I had this phobia of spiders, which I still partially do, and then I took one into my hands, and the world did not end, and it was ok. Soemthing like that.


Hello and welcome to Writing Forums and in particular the Poetry forum, BT6.
...
At this stage, you may like to introduce yourself... to give us a bit of an idea of your writing aspirations.
...
It's also a good idea to check out the links in my signature to help make the most of your time here ...what goes around will come around. Cheers, and thanks for taking the time to share :)

Edited yoru post a bit to answer it more directly, though now that I think of it I prolly messed it all up *chuckles*

Anyway, I have no writing aspirations with this poetry thingy... Hell, I don't even call it poetry, just converting what I feel into words, that's all there is to it (for me) really.

I do plan to become a writer... Something which sounds to me silly and mhmhm, containing a grain of falsehood, coz' like - can you really "become" a writer? Ain't it about jsut writing? And if you do you are, and if you don't you aren;t? *shrugs* anyway. Don't really wanna introduce myself yet since I'm not really sure how long I'll be staying - but thanks :).

As for the other tips, yeah - I've read all the rules and stuff, largely it's jsut common sense and etiquette and what not - though I'm not really one to beleive in "what goes around comes around" coz' it doesn't account for entropy *grins*

Edit:

Oh, and thanks for the replies guys ;).