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View Full Version : The Anatomy of a Woman's Religion ( Adult Subject Matter )



MaggieG
June 3rd, 2010, 04:09 PM
( I have mentioned previously that I have written in this style before. The genre is known as " feminine ecriture " It is a body conscious form of political writing. I also borrowed heavily from the surrealist style as well. )

We are a chronic chirotony
of dexter,and sinister speak;
fingertips dipped, stained
in the dying days of still, and moving expressions.

Write upon the souls of men,
powerfully, and divine.
Never confess to anyone your sin.
Declare, "They are mine !"

Walk along the forearm of our strengths,
and decipher the blue scribblings.
Your weaknesses washed out letters,
misinterpreting the text.

Woman reads only as Womb,
to you...
Venter scrolls through thin parchment
of membrane, just to be written in bones.

We are a compulsive aperture
of clefted lyrics. Language
screams and dreams, reborn
from the water of our dialect.

It is Our Christ, Our Buddha.
Because no one , NO ONE
bears these translations,
this unique stigmata except we.

Be not only Eve, lady womb.
Look also to Lilith,and Jezebel.
Revive men from the tomb,
only to describe to them their Hell.

Turn the thigh, like a page.
Crowley is recorded there,
where "Leah" mothers uteri,

and Shakespeare's "Stage"
is a vagina; a stolen work
in handwritten script,
a glyph on torn skin.

Canthus', once blurry, and wet
are dry,and angry now.
Because someone closed our Bible,
leaving nothing to learn,
but unending bearded dogma.

We are a possessed palate,
roofed in the bone - hard.
Ejaculating sentences, we dare
you to cover this mouth.

Our lust was the author of the Causeway.
The Henge’s, book-price for our sighs.
Red bulls are the effect you paid,
just to proof the novel of our eyes.

And the hands, the hands extend
outward, and upward, muscled
along the tap tap steps of Heaven,
where God exposes the female sex, bellowing

" Take note, write it down ! "
and we do ...naked, and unashamed.
Every word is nailed,
edged with our palms.

Menorrhea is a burning spear,
dipped in the adjective of cold shame.
We will erase your liquid pronouns
from flesh's font, and impale a different brand.

Female... Found... Fire ...

We are a surviving epidermis
of biography,a bind of taut.
And you will no longer
hide that upon your shelf.

Breasts are printed bold.
Study them with the respect of a student.
They are not pretty icons
for you to thumb through.

We will ledger your heart upon our hip,
and let it cipher for that place,
as we edit the tip of it,
and read the look upon your face.

Footnote this anatomy if you can,
this catechism of holy-tongued religion.
I tell you , " You never will !"

Unless you are a woman ...

Gumby
June 5th, 2010, 02:07 AM
I would love to comment on this, but dear lord I'm speachless! Awesome comes to mind. I've read this several times myself, and I still can't absorb all of it's meanings. This one will take me a while Maggie. :)

MaggieG
June 6th, 2010, 03:14 PM
Oh god Yeah.

For me this is what might happen if Sylvia Plath and Kathy Acker sat down and wrote a poem together.

I need to really read this a few more times as each time I read it a find something new. It certainly has the dynamics of a good performance piece.

xDrew





*smiles*

My husband says I am Germaine Greer, and Torey Hayden mixed. My father used to tell me I was Mark Twain when he was a steam boat captain, and there were no genteel ladies around ! lol

A friend of mine actually read this in public ( *smirks* brave woman ! ) It does vocalize well.

I thank you much for the read Hun :)

ms. vodka
June 7th, 2010, 05:12 AM
I don't know.

Who is your audience? To whom are you speaking? That's what I kept asking myself.

Also, it feels very preachy.

Setting yourself, as the narrator 'apart' feels preachy to me. You are not speaking of yourself or relating a story to move your reader into understanding, but you are lecturing.

I understand that you are probably directing this toward a certain audience, but it shoves away.

Have you ever read the work of Ai?

http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/16453

It's so real it hurts, sends chills up the spine. But yet, it empowers.

God that woman is good.

MaggieG
June 7th, 2010, 06:01 AM
I would love to comment on this, but dear lord I'm speachless! Awesome comes to mind. I've read this several times myself, and I still can't absorb all of it's meanings. This one will take me a while Maggie. :)

*laughs*

As I said Hun it is a genre ( Far better known in French writing than here strangely enough. I thought America was the home of the Femi-Nazis as my Da used to say so eloquently. lol ) I play with this type of writing on occasion. It is interesting writing in the sense that it leaves "feminine politeness" at the door, giving you the freedom to get a tad more specific, and not dance around thoughts.

Truth ? At times I still read it , and think " Damn Straight ! " Then on other occasions I am left thinking " Damn ! This thing is a mess ! " LOL

But as I said it is fun to go messing with .

Thank you for the read Hun :)

MaggieG
June 7th, 2010, 06:10 AM
I don't know.

Who is your audience? To whom are you speaking? That's what I kept asking myself.

Also, it feels very preachy.

Setting yourself, as the narrator 'apart' feels preachy to me. You are not speaking of yourself or relating a story to move your reader into understanding, but you are lecturing.

I understand that you are probably directing this toward a certain audience, but it shoves away.

Have you ever read the work of Ai?

http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/16453

It's so real it hurts, sends chills up the spine. But yet, it empowers.

God that woman is good.

Yes ... I have read Ai. Years ago when she did a lot of internet posting. I found the piece you put up a good read. As female writers go I am far more inclined to Carol Ann Duffy, and Louise Gluck.

The audience ? This was actually written for a specific audience , a fundraiser for a local woman's shelter. So I can certainly see where it would not be everyone's cup of tea. Hell ! For the most part it is not even my cup of tea. LOL But it did go over decently for what it was written for, a group of women who thought they were not understood for a variety of reasons, and at the time lacked a "voice" of power.

Yeah... It was a lecture of sorts. Excellent way of putting it .

Thanks for the read Hun :)

ms. vodka
June 7th, 2010, 07:36 PM
In that context, that it was written for a fundraiser for a local women's shelter it does work very well!

Thanks for giving me that background.

In that light, it is a very powerful piece.

Jenifer

MaggieG
June 7th, 2010, 07:51 PM
In that context, that it was written for a fundraiser for a local women's shelter it does work very well!

Thanks for giving me that background.

In that light, it is a very powerful piece.

Jenifer

This is a good example of what I have never liked about writing for specific audiences. You are giving them what they want ( or on this occasion what you think they might need ) very much narrowing options, and even in some sense ideas. It limits your expression of you,( although it can very much expand your horizons beyond your own back door so to speak ) and I am just arrogant enough to think it should always be about me *smirking a very cheeky smirk*

You get the idea Hun :) Thanks

wacker
June 7th, 2010, 07:53 PM
OoooH! Maggie....

You are such a big turn on right now, you make me want to ditch my wife and go and explore that treasure trove of anatomy you call WOMAN.
By God you are some woman. You have my insides doing flips at the thought of exploring your seductive body.. LOL.

wacker

Gumby
June 7th, 2010, 07:58 PM
Grrrrrrow! Down boy! :)

MaggieG
June 7th, 2010, 07:58 PM
OoooH! Maggie....

You are such a big turn on right now, you make me want to ditch my wife and go and explore that treasure trove of anatomy you call WOMAN.
By God you are some woman. You have my insides doing flips at the thought of exploring your seductive body.. LOL.

wacker

Leave it to a damn Irishman ! LMAO ! My father would love you !

Thank you for the laugh Darlin :)

Reese
June 7th, 2010, 08:31 PM
Actually, it's a fairly supbar piece. You wail about being a woman and hate against men. Consider for one second that you are a man.

I do understand a woman finding herself. This is important, especially considering the history of the last 50 years. Even in finding ourselves, do we not also have to consider others?

MaggieG
June 7th, 2010, 08:32 PM
Grrrrrrow! Down boy! :)

LOL ! Gumby if he doesn't listen ? Hit him with a stick. It worked on my Irish grandfather when Grannie would do it ;)

MaggieG
June 7th, 2010, 08:36 PM
Actually, it's a fairly supbar piece. You wail about being a woman and hate against men. Consider for one second that you are a man.


*smiles*

I could definitely see how that could be interpreted here. I know I wrote it moreso about misconceptions, and the idea that the sexes thoroughly do not understand each other. Give me some specifics where you see hate please ?

Reese
June 7th, 2010, 08:45 PM
"Woman reads only as Womb,
to you..."

"Revive men from the tomb,"

"Because someone closed our Bible,"

"We will erase your liquid pronouns"

You make a lot of allusions to some unnamed "other." "Some" closed our bible, and "we" will erase your liquid pronouns. Who is this other? Men? What is this other force you seem to be fighting against?

MaggieG
June 7th, 2010, 09:16 PM
"Woman reads only as Womb
to you..."

( *grins* Yes in part it was written to some men, but also to women who are under the impression that their value is found in their womb. I am sure you have met women like this. There were a few in the audience that night. As a volunteer there, I knew many of their stories. )

"Revive men from the tomb,"

( Ignorance is Death, ie- tomb. This sentence is about hating ignorance Darlin, not men )

"Because someone closed our Bible,"

( Are women, especially ones ending up in a shelter, not occasionally "suppressed", and someone could be anyone. In my case it was a mother, not a father. )

"We will erase your liquid pronouns"

( Your refers to the world. )

You make a lot of allusions to some unnamed "other." "Some" closed our bible, and "we" will erase your liquid pronouns. Who is this other? Men? What is this other force you seem to be fighting against?

( Darlin, as much as this was written for a group of women, this group was made up of individuals with individual stories. I left the "culprits" unnamed for these women to fill in the blanks, applying what I had to say to their own lives. Yes, as I said before I can see where you see hate. But it is not hate of men. It is hate of the offenders if you will, and by leaving them unnamed I thought I was making it clear the offenders could be anybody :) )

Reese
June 7th, 2010, 09:33 PM
Ah, I see. I understand. :)

I am not a woman, so it makes me hard to understand this poem. "Unamed culprits," hehe. Why not name them? Why not tell us what you mean? You want women to be interprative of them, but too much interpretation doesn't make for good poety. Connect to your reader and tell them how you feel.

MaggieG
June 7th, 2010, 09:39 PM
Ah, I see. I understand. :)

I am not a woman, so it makes me hard to understand this poem. But that being said, should I not be to understand it anyway? Just a thought.


I agree , and if this was written solely from my perspective, I would have probably attempted to make you understand. That does not change the fact that in a lot of ways I still believe the sexes will never completely understand each other.

And as one of those weird odd women out *grins* I don't find that an absolutely horrid thing. lol

It is one of those things that I think attracts us to each other :)

Thank you for the read Hun, and your very indepth eye :)

Reese
June 7th, 2010, 10:03 PM
They can. At the end of the day, we're both human, right? That's the connection both males and females connect on. :)

MaggieG
June 7th, 2010, 10:50 PM
They can. At the end of the day, we're both human, right? That's the connection both males and females connect on. :)

Now see I don't think it is our humanity that connects us at all. I think what connections we do possess are primal, almost instinctual.(Hunter/conquer,protect Gatherer/collect , own or obtain,etc) Our humanity plays the part in keeping those instincts in check. When not in check ? You have abuse that runs the gamut. When woman realize that they too possess the proper "instincts" if you will to be the conqueror , the keeper, and the protector ( roles mostly assigned to men like it or not ) they have a far more "secure" footing.

There you have my personal opinion which was NOT what this piece was about, or written for . LOL ( well maybe just a pinch *grins* )

As far as this goes ?


I am not a woman, so it makes me hard to understand this poem. "Unamed culprits," hehe. Why not name them? Why not tell us what you mean? You want women to be interprative of them, but too much interpretation doesn't make for good poety. Connect to your reader and tell them how you feel.

I hope the above, and the below once again explains it. :)

( Darlin, as much as this was written for a group of women, this group was made up of individuals with individual stories. I left the "culprits" unnamed for these women to fill in the blanks, applying what I had to say to their own lives. Yes, as I said before I can see where you see hate. But it is not hate of men. It is hate of the offenders if you will, and by leaving them unnamed I thought I was making it clear the offenders could be anybody )

Have a good day I am off to run errands :)

Reese
June 7th, 2010, 11:31 PM
Ok, so there is the hate of the "offenders." It still doesn't give me much to name. Just "offenders," which are male or otherwise.

"the conqueror , the keeper, and the protecter"

And why not let the female be the "the conqueror , the keeper, and the protector?

Sure! I'll vouch for that. Hell, let someone else take responsibility. ;)

Don't over-emphasize. Of course we can connect on the common grounds of being human. We are human after all, aren't we? Just becase you haven't reached, or seen, such a thing doesn't make it not exist.

Just be true to yourself. If you want to write something, then tell me ultimately what you are trying to say.

Hell, just be human. It's scary, no doubt. A lot of times it SUCKS.

MaggieG
June 7th, 2010, 11:57 PM
Ok, so there is the hate of the "offenders." It still doesn't give me much to name. Just "offenders," which are male or otherwise.

"the conqueror , the keeper, and the protecter"

And why not let the female be the "the conqueror , the keeper, and the protector?

Sure! I'll vouch for that. Hell, let someone else take responsibility. ;)

Don't over-emphasize. Of course we can connect on the common grounds of being human. We are human after all, aren't we? Just becase you haven't reached, or seen, such a thing doesn't make it not exist.

Just be true to yourself. If you want to write something, then tell me ultimately what you are trying to say.

Hell, just be human. It's scary, no doubt. A lot of times it SUCKS.

*laughing*

I like you :)

wacker
June 8th, 2010, 01:11 AM
OOOOH BABY! Hurry up and whack me with that stick.. I am looking forward to a good spanking... LOL

wacker

MaggieG
June 8th, 2010, 03:22 AM
OOOOH BABY! Hurry up and whack me with that stick.. I am looking forward to a good spanking... LOL

wacker

Oh Dear God !

Never mind about the stick Gumby ! Just run * grins*

Now back to the poem Amadan ! LOL

Chesters Daughter
June 9th, 2010, 09:07 PM
This certainly serves its intended purpose admirably, so please tell me your audience was taken. Way too much to process to give an in depth, this baby requires a good many reads to walk away with full appreciation. For the time being, I will say that I thought you integrated the body parts with much skill and I loved quite a few stanzas.

MaggieG
June 10th, 2010, 02:39 AM
This certainly serves its intended purpose admirably, so please tell me your audience was taken. Way too much to process to give an in depth, this baby requires a good many reads to walk away with full appreciation. For the time being, I will say that I thought you integrated the body parts with much skill and I loved quite a few stanzas.

LOL ! Hun

The first "questionable" word vocalized, I watched half the audience cheer, and the other half of the audience's butts pucker ;) My girlfriend who read the piece works with the local theater, and played that audience for all it was worth, stomping her feet, slamming her fists, and emphasizing every " Hear us roar " line in it. LOL I was hiding in the back whispering to myself " Just read the damn thing so I can run, before any one notices I am here.

The genre was what opened the door for me. Knowing part of the audience was going to be more of a "James Whitcomb Riley " crowd, I needed an avenue to get ( shall we say ) a little more in the trenches with it. ( And getting hired again motivated as well ;) lol ) If anybody pitched a fuss , I had my back-up ;)

I thank you much for the read Hun.

Foxryder
June 10th, 2010, 03:44 AM
I wonder how your brain works, MaggieG. Eintein-ish? Perhaps, YES! All those stunts with words were really eye-catching and at the same time, mind-blowing. I like how you used the human body parts to make a point. Thanks for sharing.

MaggieG
June 10th, 2010, 03:57 PM
I wonder how your brain works, MaggieG. Eintein-ish? Perhaps, YES! All those stunts with words were really eye-catching and at the same time, mind-blowing. I like how you used the human body parts to make a point. Thanks for sharing.

LOL ! I assume you are referring to Einstein ? No Dear , hardly.

I simply LOVE words, all of them. Have you ever thought about the very moment a word was created ? I have. I can only imagine that word came into existence because there was no other word that perfectly described that feeling, sensation, belief, or idea before then. Someone mined the dark caverns of their own language, and unearthed a diamond. Wouldn't it be great if all words were pretty things though. But not all situations within existence are pretty, so we mustn't forget those intricate detailed lumps of coal either. Some one else didn't so why should we ? lol

There is a bit of how my mind works :)

I thank you for the read :)

vangoghsear
June 10th, 2010, 05:10 PM
Many visual lines in this, such as these:


Venter scrolls through thin parchment
of membrane, just to be written in bones.

I agree with Ms Vodka on both that this is a bit preachy, and however that it seems appropriate for the intended audience.

Preachy or not, I liked the writing.

Reese
June 13th, 2010, 02:17 AM
I like you too. :P

If you want to emphasize a point then tell us! (Yes, do tell us!)

If you want to connect to the "other half" then you must be more clear. The time of abstract "feminality" has passed (Yes, I purposefully did not use the word feminism). That was in the 1960's.

An anger directed towards either you or the other half is fairly passe. There needs to be a point that drives home a redirected point directly (gobbli-guck what?). Yeah, I know.

You're in new territory. You need to explore that territory as a woman in 2010. Maybe it's the same. That is a territory unto itself, and needs its own definition...in a 2010-type of way...lol, confusing, no doubt.