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Crash_Tomas
May 19th, 2010, 04:40 AM
"Do You Have The Time?" -- No, It Got Away From Me. (The Watcher Man Forgot The Tick Tock.) "Absurd." ...What?

"Did you finish that puzzle?" --I didn't know I was supposed to. (He Found a Jagged Edge) "The Pieces don't line up." ...you didn't do it right.

"And She Said She'd Be In Boston." --What She Want to go there for? (Found Herself Upon A Wall) "No One Knows Your Name." ...Where?

"Knees Are Made For Bending." --Sure Thing There Doctor. (The Cracker Does A Little Dance) "Tuck Your Elbow In." ...Absolutely.

SilverMoon
May 19th, 2010, 12:27 PM
Hia, Crash. You're writing in the Absurdist genre which I always enjoy e.g. Lewis Carroll. But you might re-construct your lines, running down the page. Since you're interested in experimenting, I found this link which covers, I think, just about every genre of poerty. Was so impressed I placed in my Bookmarks. Enjoy. Laurie

http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/types.html

vangoghsear
May 19th, 2010, 01:20 PM
Laurie, thanks for that link. I bookmarked it to check out later.

Crash, cool stuff. I agree a restructure wouldn't hurt, but I don't mind it as is.

Gumby
May 19th, 2010, 02:13 PM
Enjoyed this one, Crash. :) ( thanks for the link Laurie)

Crash_Tomas
May 19th, 2010, 08:01 PM
Hey, thanks to all three of you. =) I also wanted there to be more, but I didn't know if I was pushing the limit. Like, if it went from absurdity to pathetic? That line. haha. Or is four just not enough or just right?

also, tying them together was tricky. So, if there are any points that aren't clear, cos the structure is whacky, as you've suggested to reconstruct it. I'd like to know more, so I can write more absurd poetry. To me, it's a lot more free and relieving than any other type of poetry I've tried.

Edgewise
May 19th, 2010, 09:53 PM
Very cool piece. The superficially prosaic structure works in its favor; it appears as dialogue while the carefully considered dashes, parentheses, quotation marks, call/response give it poetic coherence.

Something mad about it. Dig-able.

Kudos Crash.

Gumby
May 19th, 2010, 09:58 PM
I'd like to know more, so I can write more absurd poetry. To me, it's a lot more free and relieving than any other type of poetry I've tried.

You may have discovered your 'niche' :)

Chesters Daughter
May 20th, 2010, 12:25 AM
I agree with Cindy, you've found your niche. I enjoyed this and would like to see more of these. The form is quirky, but as Edge pointed out, it works. Very clever effort. Now go write some more.:wink:

MaggieG
May 20th, 2010, 03:05 AM
The best thing about Absurdism is the reader can shove any plot line in there that suits them. I saw two guys discussing a girl ( possibly one they both loved ) and the statements in parenthesis are God's as he ponders amusingly on the idiocy of man. That may not be what you meant but that is what I saw, and in this genre ?

I'm the one that gets to play *grins*

Wonderful wonderful read :)

Crash_Tomas
May 20th, 2010, 10:43 PM
Thanks! The whole idea is for an ambiguous meaning, that pertains to whatever the reader sees. Your take on it is very awesome, haha.