Thread: Wanted: Punctuation policeman.

Hi, I have a completed work ready to be sent out to UK agents.

Well…not quite ready.

I need 5,000 words taken into a cell by a punctuation policeman and slapped into shape.

I will willingly reciprocate. I am strong on plot and pace, and quite strong on sentence structure and character.

Any offers or clarification, here or PM me.

I thank you,

qwerty

Originally Posted by qwertyman
I need 5,000 words taken into a cell by a punctuation policeman and slapped into shape.

You're hoping to have a short story published? Top marks for optimism.

Duh!


In UK, the agents specify there requirements to accompany the submission letter. Normally, the first five chapters or 5,000 words.

The script is 70,000 words but I'll worry about the rest if when I get a positive response.

I'd be perfectly happy to proof-read your work. Most of the mistakes I usually make are due to my keyboard... I have very long and annoying fingers.

qwerty,

I do free-lance editing on the web, so I've got experience and would be glad to edit for you. I'm quick, meticulous and experienced, and I'm cheap (no cost at all to you, though.) PM me and I'll give you my e-address. You can pay me back by recommending me, providing you're happy with the results.

Take care,

JohnB

Many thanks, Cadence - but I am not the man for fantasy or sci-fi and I don't feel I could reciprocate in any useful way, and that would make me feel bad. Your kind offer in much appreciated.

WriterjohnB - that's a generous offer and I can't refuse.

querty, I remember a most strange remark you made when responding to a critique of your first posting of “On the (Nigerian) Road”.

It was about how you punctuate the same way you speak (but don't we all?), about how you speak as if you are still a thespian, and about how the punctuation of your written stuff unconsciously follows this same pattern.

Anyone who knows how stage performers speak their lines will know they speak differently.

Reading between the lines here (pun very definitely not intended) I can see that you’d believe your punctuation, although different, is correct.

You need to ensure that whoever elects to edit your work for punctuation is aware of this anomaly. The alternative is frightening to contemplate.

I don't feel I could reciprocate in any useful way, and that would make me feel bad.

Don't worry - I wasn't looking for anything in return.

Originally Posted by The Backward OX

querty, I remember a most strange remark you made when responding to a critique of your first posting of “On the (Nigerian) Road”.

It was about how you punctuate the same way you speak (but don't we all?), about how you speak as if you are still a thespian, and about how the punctuation of your written stuff unconsciously follows this same pattern.

Anyone who knows how stage performers speak their lines will know they speak differently.

Reading between the lines here (pun very definitely not intended) I can see that you’d believe your punctuation, although different, is correct.

You need to ensure that whoever elects to edit your work for punctuation is aware of this anomaly. The alternative is frightening to contemplate.

That'd be almost entirely dependent on how the characters within the work communicated, wouldn't it?

Originally Posted by philistine

That'd be almost entirely dependent on how the characters within the work communicated, wouldn't it?

To judge by what I’ve seen of the OP’s posted work, the characters don’t so much communicate as machine-gun each other.

Originally Posted by The Backward OX

It was about how you punctuate the same way you speak (but don't we all?), about how you speak as if you are still a thespian, and about how the punctuation of your written stuff unconsciously follows this same pattern.

Anyone who knows how stage performers speak their lines will know they speak differently..

No they don't, or rather shouldn't.

Originally Posted by The Backward OX

Reading between the lines here (pun very definitely not intended) I can see that you’d believe your punctuation, although different, is correct.

No I don't.

Originally Posted by Ox

To judge by what I’ve seen of the OP’s posted work, the characters don’t so much communicate as machine-gun each other.

You've got a long memory, most of my posts went in Strangelove's purge.

I was at a writer's workshop some time ago along with eleven others. The lecturer asked who had a WIP which included dead bodies. I was the only one with out a death in my book*, and that included a writer of non-fiction who was chronicling case histories of colonic irrigation.




*For those who are interested - six cancers, two suicides, world war II and a sword-swallowing act that went wrong.



I

Thicko - I used machine-gun figuratively, to inidcate short bursts of speech.

WriterJohnB. Great, perfect job.

Thanks for your help and expertise. I shall certainly be recommending you.

I have over college level spelling and grammar (I'm fourteen), and plus I like doing this kind of stuff. I'll gladly do it.

Thanks Japanny, your offer is much apreciated but the job is done, and the first batch of letters sent to agents, thanks to WrtierJohnB.


Got my first refusal today (sob). Anyway, onwards and upwards...qwerty marches into the light from the setting sun...