Thread: Writing in Handan

It's finally happened. I didn't think it would -- at least, not so soon.

I gobbled Short Stories like candy, hoping to master the craft. I sank my teeth into Novels, looking to understand their structure.

Literary Fiction? Swallowed tons. Commercial Fiction? Drank even more! First person, Second Person, Third Person, Past Tense, Present Tense, gulp munch chew, burp! I disected and digested them all, looking to incorporate what I've learned into my own writing.

But now that I've opened my mouth to speak, I have discovered something unexpected, while I should have been expecting it all along.

I've lost my voice. My writing voice, it's gone.

The blank page is a gaping auditorium. The lights are so blinding they are all I can see, but I know there's an audience watching, waiting. The problem is, I don't know what to say, and I don't know how to say it.

My sentences have grown sterile and detached. My imagination is an arid wasteland. My writing actually, physically bores me. There's no exaggeration here. When I read what I have written, I actually begin to fall asleep.

My prose has abandoned me. My style has evaporated. I don't even know what genre I'm trying to write in anymore.

I'm suddenly reminded of a Chinese Daoist parable, Learning to Walk in Handan:

There was once a little boy from Yan who travelled to the city of Handan to learn how to walk like the people there.

He had heard rumors of their elegant and extravagent walking styles, and while the rumors filled him with grand expectations, the reality exceeded even his wildest dreams.

The people of Handan gyrated and swayed, dipped and swaggered. They moved like marionnettes on well-oiled strings, their feet glided over the soil like skates on ice.

The boy from Yan, after recovering from his amazement, began trying to mimic the walking of the Handan people. He gyrated and swayed, dipped and swaggered. But his movements were jerky, not weightless, and his footsteps stumbled instead of glided.

Not only did he not learn how to walk like the people of Handan, the boy forgot how to walk altogether!

In tears, he began to crawl back home.

The moral: At the outset, people who study are in search of the essence of their craft, but after a while they get lost in the forest of books and can't get out.

I am the boy from Yan, and I have forgotten how to walk completely.

Do not study, the time has come to practice. Start at the beginning, when you first learned to walk you did not skip jump and run, standing, merely maintaining your legs straight underneath you, was an achievement only accomplished by holding on to a physical object. Take yourself to that stage in writing, find a physical object, something simple like an item of cutlery or kitchen ware for example, and describe it as fully as you can, bearing in mind your reader will never see it.

On the other hand you could look back over your post and say "Well, now that I look, that is actually quite competently written, what shall I do next?"

There is a scripture that explains how to find your way home. I've forgotten the exact reference. Give me a bit of time and I'll find it for you.

See Chapter 19 here, where the words of Master Lao Tze are interpreted as follows:


People need personal remedies:
Reveal your naked self and embrace your original nature;
Bind your self-interest and control your ambition;
Forget your habits and simplify your affairs.

A few months ago I was working on a story for a writing competition when I found myself eyelid deep in writers block. My family and friends, trying to motivate me, were texting and calling to gently remind me to keep working (to me it sounded like they were screaming). After a month of frustration, I finally had a minor freak-out and threw the story to the side, telling everyone that I'm done, I'm not working on it anymore and I'm writing something I want to write, something that's fun for me. I had an opening line and a genre of the story and that was it. I'm now 50k words into it, going strong and loving it. That's how I broke my block and found my voice. I wish you the best, my friend, and hope a quick recovery for you

- Thanks for the guidance, Olly. I think that's a great idea. I should go back to basics and practice, not study. I will do exactly as you advised. Cheers

- Great wisdom, garza! And perfectly applicable here. I'm studying the philosophy of those words very closely, and will do my best to employ it. Thanks.

- Very encouraging, squid! I'm glad you're moving ahead with gusto. It's inspiring for me. Thanks for the kind words.

Sorry for the original post, everyone. I looked at it today and thought, "Geez, I sound like a whiner."

My attitude today is: So what if I can't write at the moment? It's not the end of the world! And there was certainly no reason to burden you all with my frustration. Though, I appreciate the helpful advice.

I wrote it in a moment of feeling defeated, after I had tossed aside another futile attempt at a new piece. Now I see I'm resisting the process, instead of embracing it. I'll do my best to incorporate all your insights. Cheers!

You'll find the Way, Kyle. Just don't try to put a name to it. See Chapter One.

Great attitude, Kyle. I think we all go through those moments of feeling completely incompetent, but trust me, your ability with words will not let you down. Sir, you only think you have forgotten how to walk because you spend so much time running! Don't try to write a story, tell your story as if you were writing it as a post here. That's the story I want to read . . .

Oh I disagree... I see a complete whiner!!! Lol..

I'm joking of course. Read to read like you used too. Fall into the story and enjoy it how the author intended. All that wisdom will penetrate without your knowlege anyway. You're an amazing writer, Kyle. Quit overthinking and just write... I'm sure that's what you told me once.. So there is it... right back at you!

Thanks for the encouragement, Terry. I'll try to write with my natural voice and be satisfied with it, instead of trying to create a better one. It's just, sometimes the urge is hard to resist, you know? Cheers!

Be like Nike and Just Do It huh, Snooble? Deal!

I think this sense of losing your voice is part of the process. I feel like this sometimes. I agree with those who said it is time to practice. It's kind of like learning to play guitar -- you spend so much time playing through tabs of other peoples music that your own voice is covered up. But after you reach a certain level of competence you branch off and go your own way.

Also, I think 'style' is in part what the writer chooses to write about -- his subject matter, his themes. So as long as you write what interests you, there will probably always be signs of your style.

What if you're like me and have neither a 'voice' nor a 'style'? All I do is put one word after another in what I think is the right order to tell a story. Probably to have a 'voice' or a 'style' one must be an artist; something I am not.

What he said ^^

Originally Posted by garza

What if you're like me and have neither a 'voice' nor a 'style'? All I do is put one word after another in what I think is the right order to tell a story. Probably to have a 'voice' or a 'style' one must be an artist; something I am not.

Originally Posted by The Backward OX

What he said ^^

Riiiight, and neither of you guys have fingerprints, either.

Originally Posted by Foxee

Riiiight, and neither of you guys have fingerprints, either.

Indistinguishable clones, no point reading one, you might as well read the other.

Seriously, I think people's voice and style are so much partof them they don't realise it is there, someone said about my writing that the stories were all so different, and yet this voice runs through them. It surprised me, I recognised the difference, but not the similarity until it was pointed out, since when I think I see something of it.