Thread: The first line.

'Harvoskus June was in a furious state.'

If there is one thing I keep looking at in my writing, its first lines. The start of a chapter, or the entire novel. Above is the first lie of my work-in-progress Warzone. I actually like it, but I'm not sure why. Does anyone know good tips for how to ge tthe best out of your first lines?

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.

This line is interesting because of its contradictions. You think, The clocks were striking thirteen? How can that be?! and off you go, into the story.

That said, I think first-line hooks are not terribly important. Sometimes they come across as a gimmick. As long as something interesting happens on the first page, I keep reading. 'Interesting' could be defined as a startingly original image, rhythmic prose, an apparent contradiction, etc.

Mine is simply "Markus leaned his head against the window of the train car and watched the trees speed by." There's nothing particularly special or gripping about it. It simply sets the scene.

Like johnM said, opening lines don't have to be brilliant. No one is going to put down a book if they aren't enthralled by the opening line, after all.

'Harvoskus June was in a furious state.' does get me interested in what will come next which I assume will be an explanation for why he is furious. People get furious as a result of conflict, and after reading your first sentence I expect to encounter some conflict pretty quickly. Conflict is what drives stories, and I am now confident I will not have to wait long before getting to the heart of your story. You could delete 'in a state' and say the same thing, but you were probably going to do that on your own in your second draft. 'Harvoskus June was furious' is telling not showing, but in a hook, you want to get the reader's attention quickly and showing takes time. You can show why he's furious in subsequent sentences.

My current first line is "It wasn’t cold out, but Isa shivered." It's short, to the point, establishes some conflict via contradiction, and is followed by several sentences explaining how she had to leave the homeless shelter because she didn't want people around to see her when the trembling returned.

I agree with what has been said. The first line isn't as crucial as the first paragraph (or page) or so. I would further agree/argue that the important things to accomplish are:
1. Set the scene
2. Establish some conflict
3. Identify the viewpoint character

The novel I'm working on at the moment begins with, 'They were nearing the ocean.'

They're not terribly important, but they can provide an extra hook if the opening chapter isn't satisfactorily gripping. Trying to make them grabbing and punchy, however, probably isn't a great idea. If it's natural, great, if not, hey, you've got to start somewhere.

When I'm writing in genre - usually mystery, thriller or horror - first lines can set a mood, introduce a compelling character, hook the reader to read on. It can be viewed as a gimmick, but done right it can make a memorable entrance. Think about the beginning lines of the classics - "It was the best of times...."

Doghouse Reilly

In commercial fiction, the first line usually follows a formula:

Introduce Character + Disturbance to Character's world. This is generally what's referred to as the "hook", baiting the reader to continue on, to find out what's going to happen.

For example:

"Samantha Green was on her way to work when the car in front of her exploded."

or

"On his last round, security guard Thomas Shepherd had just started to yawn when he heard a loud crash."

I'm very familiar this formula, but I ignore it often, as I'm much more interested in first-line prose than hooks.. But, it's a known formula for a reason: it tends to work well.

This is probably going to come out of left field, but while I like the sentence as a whole, the first name got more of my attention, and not in a good way. I found myself trying to figure out how to pronounce it, making his being furious take a back seat.

Just one opinion.

Originally Posted by shadowwalker

This is probably going to come out of left field, but while I like the sentence as a whole, the first name got more of my attention, and not in a good way. I found myself trying to figure out how to pronounce it, making his being furious take a back seat.

Just one opinion.

It affected me the same way, but, if the rest of the first paragraph is good, I could get over it easily enough.

I always try to make my first line a double entendre, and then I change them again and again until no one hates it. Apparently the whole double-meaning thing is pretty hateable.

Ditto the above about the name.

As to first lines, sometimes I put the effort in, sometimes I don't. Then again, I do appreciate a gripping "hook."

"Ten days after the war ended, my sister Laura drove a car off a bridge."

That's the first line from my favorite book, and I'd say the most important thing about making your first sentence work well as a hook is to keep the momentum going, rather than give us a really killer line and then rattle on about the grass growing and such. (The above novel--The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood--hooked me from the first sentence and never let me go.)

Standard advice does not always apply, but it is fairly standard advice to establish who, where, when and what is happening early on, either the first line or the first paragraph. Check out the result of this google search in those terms, Best First Lines of Novels — Infoplease.com, often the rest of the info is often in the next couple of lines, like Winston Smith heading for Victory buildings in John's example, but it is already bright, cold, April and thirteen o'clock.

Originally Posted by Tiamat10

As to first lines, sometimes I put the effort in, sometimes I don't. Then again, I do appreciate a gripping "hook."

"Ten days after the war ended, my sister Laura drove a car off a bridge."

That's the first line from my favorite book,

That opener puts me very much in mind of "Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice." If one has the patience, "One Hundred Years of Solitude", by Gabriel García Márquez, is...erm...different.

Originally Posted by shadowwalker

This is probably going to come out of left field, but while I like the sentence as a whole, the first name got more of my attention, and not in a good way. I found myself trying to figure out how to pronounce it, making his being furious take a back seat.

Just one opinion.

Harvoskus? What's so hard about three itty-bitty syllables? HAR VOSS K'S. Jeeez.