Thread: How do you describe love?

I don't know. I feel like it's the hardest thing in the world to describe, because it's so multifaceted. My character is just thinking about it, and here's what I've written so far, but if you have any kind of input or advice or criticism it is very welcome.

You know how sometimes you meet a thousand people, and they’re all great, and you think your life is complete and you’re happy until suddenly you meet that one person, who even though he’s just one person feels like he’s more important than all the people on Earth, and you think to yourself, really? That person? Out of all the people you’ve ever met, you’re going to get hung up over that particular person? But you can’t help it, he’s not what you always dreamed of but he’s what you should have known you needed, and every single thing you see reminds you of him and you just wish you could go back to a time when you didn’t know him, when you didn’t know he was precisely what was missing, but you can’t really, can you, because he’s part of who you are today and you can never erase that no matter how hard you try. And then you both go your separate ways and that should be a sign of a new beginning, but it can’t be anymore, because he is the beginning of all beginnings and nothing can begin nor end if he is not a part of it, and you barely have control of your own life anymore, not at all, really, and without him you feel empty, hopelessly void of meaning, as if your sole purpose in life is to be with him, to be a part of who he is, to grow and love and laugh with him and no one else, and why does life have to be so strange that sometimes that person, the person you never knew you needed but do, desperately, more than the air you breathe and the home you live in and all the other miserable details that constitute your somehow unnecessary existence, moves ten thousand miles away. And you both know you should get over it, you should move on, find someone new, except that no new person will ever be enough to block out what you once felt for that person, that one summer, when everything was so right and so easy and the grass was alive with your hopes and dreams and you just wished you could sit there forever and bask in the glory of this unintentional completion, of the discovery of a purpose you never even thought you could have, of the knowledge, no, the certainty, that you were only born so that you could spend your entire life just being with that person, the person that made you happier than you’d ever thought was possible and emptier than you’d ever thought was survivable. You know how sometimes you meet a thousand people, and they’re all great, and you think your life is complete and you’re happy until suddenly you meet that one person, who even though he’s just one person feels like he’s more important than all the people on Earth, and you think to yourself, really? That person? Out of all the people you’ve ever met, you’re going to get hung up over that particular person? But you can’t help it, he’s not what you always dreamed of but he’s what you should have known you needed, and every single thing you see reminds you of him and you just wish you could go back to a time when you didn’t know him, when you didn’t know he was precisely what was missing, but you can’t really, can you, because he’s part of who you are today and you can never erase that no matter how hard you try. And then you both go your separate ways and that should be a sign of a new beginning, but it can’t be anymore, because he is the beginning of all beginnings and nothing can begin nor end if he is not a part of it, and you barely have control of your own life anymore, not at all, really, and without him you feel empty, hopelessly void of meaning, as if your sole purpose in life is to be with him, to be a part of who he is, to grow and love and laugh with him and no one else, and why does life have to be so strange that sometimes that person, the person you never knew you needed but do, desperately, more than the air you breathe and the home you live in and all the other miserable details that constitute your somehow unnecessary existence, moves ten thousand miles away. And you both know you should get over it, you should move on, find someone new, except that no new person will ever be enough to block out what you once felt for that person, that one summer, when everything was so right and so easy and the grass was alive with your hopes and dreams and you just wished you could sit there forever and bask in the glory of this unintentional completion, of the discovery of a purpose you never even thought you could have, of the knowledge, no, the certainty, that you were only born so that you could spend your entire life just being with that person, the person that made you happier than you’d ever thought was possible and emptier than you’d ever thought was survivable.

My first thought is "Wow, that is an excruciatingly long paragraph." Then I started reading and realized you accidentally (I hope) posted it twice, so it's only a somewhat excruciatingly long paragraph.

After reading it, I'd still have to say it's too long and you ramble too much. The sentences are all very long. In fact, I don't think there's a single sentence written that isn't a run-on. I actually read this out loud and I found myself having to pause for breath in the middle of each and every sentence. That's a bad sign, right there.

Love is a very difficult thing to describe in fiction (and obviously in life) because by nature, love is very melodramatic. This, I think, is too "purple". And by that I mean, it's too flowery, too overly descriptive. It's got kind of a breathless feel to it--an obsessive, overly emotional hue--which for me is more off-putting than captivating. Maybe that's the character you're writing. Perhaps she's the obsessive, melodramatic, Twilight-fan type. If so, maybe this could work, but I have my doubts.

I question why you need to describe love in the first place. I would say that any lover of fiction knows precisely what love is (to them) and they don't need it shoved down their throats. Or, in other words, why do you need to tell me how this chick feels? Why not show me how she feels by how she interacts with this guy (or since he's apparently ten thousand miles away, show me how she gets through her day-to-day life without him). Put her in a situation and show me how she deals with it. I'd be more prone to like her and relate to her that way, rather than having to struggle through this soliloquy-esque tangle of words.

"You know how sometimes you meet a thousand people," - NO. Who sometimes meets a thousand people? I think it would be hard for anyone to relate to it. The next couple of sentences are fine though. "You meet that one person....."

I echo whats said above. Do you really need to go into detail about love? Love is interesting precisely because it is hard to describe. And most books would attempt to describe it through actions instead of description.

With difficulty...

Love is an abstract idea, like freedom or hatred, and the description will vary with the individual (unless we're dealing with facts). So I think it becomes easy to describe love once you put it in terms of the character experiencing it. Once you're in his mind you can describe love any odd or funny or insightful way you want. In general I think our understanding of these kinds of ideas is colored by past experiences, and that often bleeds through and influences the way we talk about it or describe it in fiction.

If you can imagine a sunny day but it's raining, and the raindrops are coming down in different colours, each droplet of rain is bright and sparkleing. It,s psychedelic crazy scary mystical and magical all at the same time. It's every dream and nightmare it's where the blues were born it,s how song writers spend their days trying to exspress it's hell it's heaven it's a heart breaker it's just far out man. Maybe best to just say like yeah man it's soooooo cool.

If your wondering noooooooooo i'm not on drugs.... at least i don't think i am ?

The best way I can describe love (I don't think there is one definitive description of that which keeps our souls alive) is that you care about the other person's well being more than your own. This applies not only to romantic love, but also familial, friendship, and in certain cases of very selfless people, love of humanity.

is this dialogue or narrative? it could work as dialogue, if your character is a teenage girl, i suppose.
or maybe as a diary entry. it seems heartfelt enough.

In my latest work I had two characters that were in love but never acted on it until the near end of the story. I wrote the main story arch in a patriarchal setting so it was easy to create a romance. I also used a third character to distinguish between lust and love. I also used a device that helped drive the plot that involved the use of a white light that was created by music. Usually, since my writing is in the horror genre I have the relationship involve some sort of scrifice or loss that helps reinforce the idea of love. It also made it easy in my latest work to deal with childhood sweethearts that grew up together but never acted on their feelings.

THis old boy did a reasonable job of it

I'll follow you and make a heaven out of hell, and I'll die by your hand, which I love so well.

They do not love that do not show their love. The course of true love never did run smooth. Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love.

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.

Parting is such bittersweet sorrow that I should say goodnight until it be 'morrow.

When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.

W Shakespear

I try not to describe love. Instead I force my reader to experience it right along with my MC.

Blah blah blah, not trying to go into the whole show not tell spiel. Basically I just try and make it as confusing, gut wrenching and euphoric as it is in real life.

I find emotions are best portrayed by showing your character in action, or interaction.

As a reader, I appreciate authors who give me the opportunity to gleam my own conclusions as to why Sally threw her glass to the floor and shattered it, or why Kevin, after barely escaping his own death, suddenly begins to laugh.

Or why, in regards to this thread, Julia, with tears streaming down her face, tries to revive Trent even though, blade piercing his heart, he's already passed away in her arms.