Thread: Stuck!

Every idea I have about how to do this just comes out all wrong. I'm terrible with dialogue and I'm learning so please any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. How would you write in someone who is not formally introduced yet.

"What a surprise!" (being said by a beautiful middle aged brunette) Please insert dialogue tag or another way of writing who said it. Thanks!

The beautiful middle-aged brunette eyed the newest arrival with a cursory sweep up and down his well-built frame. "This is a pleasant surprise," she said, giving him a wide smile as he sat down beside her.

Is that what you're after?

Is the brunette the character that has not been introduced? I am not sure what you are asking.

I think you should try harder yourself to solve this problem. How would you do it in real life. This is not a complicated introduction.

Sorry I should have given more information. Ok, now I have another question before I address my previous. (lol) The person being introduced is known to the main character, POV is first person. Though I would hate using her name without the MC first identifying her.

So, the scene is the MC is going to her aunts house. She knocks on the door and the aunt is excited to see her niece. So she says, "Evelyn, what a surprise!" because the MC came over unannounced.

So would I even put in a dialogue tag? or just keep it at that so the MC could say something like, "It's nice to see you again Auntie." (not necessarily that just giving a for instance.)

Originally Posted by delvianna01

Sorry I should have given more information. Ok, now I have another question before I address my previous. (lol) The person being introduced is known to the main character, POV is first person. Though I would hate using her name without the MC first identifying her.

So, the scene is the MC is going to her aunts house. She knocks on the door and the aunt is excited to see her niece. So she says, "Evelyn, what a surprise!" because the MC came over unannounced.

So would I even put in a dialogue tag? or just keep it at that so the MC could say something like, "It's nice to see you again Auntie." (not necessarily that just giving a for instance.)

I'm not sure I understand. If you're writing from first person POV then that means your MC is narrating the story. So maybe you want something like...

I was making another of the unannounced visits that I secretly knew gave my aunt so much pleasure, even though she always insisted I call first. 'Evelyn, what a surprise!', she said, greeting me with the same expression she always did.

That gives me an idea, thanks!

You may have all you need from the above, but just for grins here's a sample from my latest rough draft:
“Mistress says we’re to go back to help with cleaning up the pots,” said a blowzy redhead to a younger blonde as I reached that part of the camp. When she heard my footsteps she turned around. “Hey, Ennis, long time no see.” The redhead struck a suggestive pose. “Ready for a little tickle?”

So you want to introduce your brunette. A lot will depend who's noticing her.

"What a surprise!" The tightly wrapped brunette who grabbed my husband's arm was a surprise, and not a good one.

"What a surprise!" She was brunette, old enough to be my mom, and had the glamor of an old-time screen star.

"What a surprise!" Who was this, now? Beautiful, been around the block, brunette, my favorite. Shame she was in the wrong place at the wrong time.