Thread: Redoing my opening - Need opinions on sequencing

So. The first few chapters of my book are currently as follows:

-Chapter 1: Main character arrives in New York. He's coming from a military training camp. He wanted to be a Special Ops military agent, but he's temporarily having to work as a security guard for the Freedom Tower while they work out a conflict with his assignment. It is mentioned that his brother, who is serving in the marines, is finally coming home in two days.

-Chapter 2: Mostly just the main character's day and a description of him on the job and exploring the city.

-Chapter 3: The main character's brother comes home. The scene opens with the two of them talking in a hotel room. They go to breakfast. On their way back to the hotel, they are confronted in an alley by a street gang and the brother is shot and killed. (By the way there are plot complexities that explain why everything happens. Just roll with it for now)

It works, but it's a little boring. Not a good hook in the first chapter. So here's my revision:

-Chapter 1: The main character is at the airport in NYC and the marines come home. Reunion. They go to the hotel, chat, and go to breakfast. On their way back to the hotel, they are confronted in an alley by a street gang and the brother is shot and killed. (again, just trust me that it is perfectly plausible in the context of my story)

-Chapter 2: Cut back a few days. Main character is still at the training camp, angry at the reassignment stuff and preparing to fly out. A little background will be given on him and stuff like that.

-Chapter 3: Arrival in NYC. Introduced to his job at the Freedom Tower. Ticked off that he's doing such mundane work. Exploring the city. The chapter ends with his reflection on his family, how he and his brother are the only two alive, and his anticipation of his brother's return. The main character's life is looking positive.

Small half-chapter inserted here, cinematic effect-ish mini scene of the events immediately following the brother's death

Chapter 4: Cuts ahead again to post-brother's-death and how the main character's life is completely ruined.

Mainly I'm just worried about it making sense with the cuts in there, but I think it makes the intro more intriguing. Thoughts?

What about:

Chapter 1: The brother and the main character take a shortcut through the alleyway. Confronted by the gang, while the brother is still in marine clothing. Confront mostly about military things, before pulling out a gun and killing the brother. Injures the main character. They leave them there, before people come across them. Rushed to hospital, in a coma sort of state. Chapter finishes.

Then basically add anything else you wanted before the death occured. Then once up to date, basically wake him up in hospital. He finds out his brother is dead, obviously in an emotional state about it.

Now: I'm taking a wild guess here. Does the story lead on for him to track the gangsters down and kill them 1 by 1 or get them arrested? Just a stab in the dark.

It seems quite good! I don't know if I would read it, but it's a solid start, I think. Consider that 1 chapter may not be enough time for the reader to connect with the protagonist's brother, so their death may be premature there. If it were me, I would describe the brother's death intermittently. It's a big drama hoop but I like the idea of dropping hints of the tragic event throughout the first chapters, with the death finally occuring at the final part of chapter 4 or something. This way it puts the reader in a dark mood, so when the death scene finally does come, the dramatic feel will be magnified.

Is this thing making sense? I hope it is. Good luck with your book!

Makes good sense. I think I will leave the plot in general as it is (aside from the reordering of things of course) just because it's basically already written. But I like the suggestions, letting the reader get to know the brother and putting the main character in the hospital.

Thanks for the input!

And @Gesar: You're right in a way. Tracking down the people that killed the brother will be a smaller part of a larger plot in the story Good guess.