Thread: Quickly shifting perspectives.

I have a story where there are two main characters. These two are antagonists to each other during the first half of the story, but they are stuck together and have to cooperate if they want to stay alive. My story has my narration often switching sides, some times in gaps of between 500 and 1000 words. Is this alright? I have never done something like this before, but it feels very seamless. What would a seasoned reader think of this?

By the way, it's third person past.

As long as there are smooth transitions between the two points-of-view, i.e. a paragraph which shows your second character doing something before you reveal his/her thoughts, there shouldn't be a problem. It's only 'head-hopping' when you have no transition scene between characters, and you randomly jump from one thought process to another character's thought process.

I would like to recommend to you a couple of titles which I feel has done the thing your are doing in your said work. There's Deaver's The Cold Moon and The Broken Window and Dan Brown's Deception Point. These novels frequently shift perspectives between the antagonist and the protagonist.

Are there breaks between the pov changes, or are they being done in an omnipresent pov (switching without a break)? If it is the first, and it isn't annoying, then there should be no problem. If you are using omni, then make sure that it is clear when you bounce from head to head. I'm reading a book now that uses omni, and sadly, while the story is good many of the jumps are not clear and pull me out of the story while I figure out who's pov I'm in at the moment.

Originally Posted by Sam W

As long as there are smooth transitions between the two points-of-view, i.e. a paragraph which shows your second character doing something before you reveal his/her thoughts, there shouldn't be a problem. It's only 'head-hopping' when you have no transition scene between characters, and you randomly jump from one thought process to another character's thought process.

I'm doing them through scene breaks. There is an instance where one of the characters goes to take a nap, then there is a scene break, then maybe a short flashback, and then it switches to the other character who's outside doing something. I'm not sure about the flashbacks yet because I haven't written those, but everything else applies.

Originally Posted by Lord Darkstorm

Are there breaks between the pov changes, or are they being done in an omnipresent pov (switching without a break)? If it is the first, and it isn't annoying, then there should be no problem. If you are using omni, then make sure that it is clear when you bounce from head to head. I'm reading a book now that uses omni, and sadly, while the story is good many of the jumps are not clear and pull me out of the story while I figure out who's pov I'm in at the moment.

It's third person past, but it feels like first person present. It's structured in very short scenes where only one character is the pov; when the pov changes, there is a scene break, and possibly a short time-skip or change of locations. The thoughts of the character are mixed in the narration, though not as much as it would be if it were written in first person.

Originally Posted by TheFuhrer02

I would like to recommend to you a couple of titles which I feel has done the thing your are doing in your said work. There's Deaver's The Cold Moon and The Broken Window and Dan Brown's Deception Point. These novels frequently shift perspectives between the antagonist and the protagonist.

Thanks Fuhrer, I'll be sure to check those out.

Elite, what type of story is it? I.e., what is the main element, or crux of the relationship between the two main characters?

In what I'm writing, I have (only) one perspective change. In it, the first person looks at the second person before collapsing. Then you're left with the new perspective looking at the collapsed first person before it continues with the story.

Originally Posted by elite

there is a scene break, and possibly a short time-skip or change of locations.

I really have trouble following these types of 'instant' changes. I simply spend too much time attempting to work out whose perspective it is and always give up reading them. In fact, I've given up on enough poorly written prospective changing novels that I won't even attempt to read a book with them in.

Maybe an insanely dumb thought (just came to me) might be having somebody call the name of the new perspective in the first line.
Eg

"Barry."
"Barry this, Barry that," he grumbled to himself.
'Barry.' He opened his locker...
'Barry Jones 21 River Avenue Bath City 4252' Taking a letter opener...
etc

Originally Posted by CFFTB

Elite, what type of story is it? I.e., what is the main element, or crux of the relationship between the two main characters?

It's an action/mystery novel. A man who's been searching for her missing sister for ten years, who disappeared along with a bunch of other people during the same week. He became a cop, thinking he could take his investigation further that way. One day he captures an assassin that happens to be one of those missing people, a famous singer from that time. One wants to dig into the organization, the other wants to dig himself out. They are both cruel, ruthless and put their goals above all else.

The relationship between the pair is that of the "I hate your guts, I despise your ideals, and I will absolutely pull your leg if I can." Eventually they get over it, but a good part of the story is spent with them plotting against each other.

I really have trouble following these types of 'instant' changes. I simply spend too much time attempting to work out whose perspective it is and always give up reading them. In fact, I've given up on enough poorly written prospective changing novels that I won't even attempt to read a book with them in.

The changes aren't instant at all. Think of short chapters where the view point is changed each time. I think I left them well marked, with parting remarks right before one ends and short descriptions of where the other character is after switch is made. Usually, this is done when one character goes off screen, so it's pretty straightforward (I think).

Maybe an insanely dumb thought (just came to me) might be having somebody call the name of the new perspective in the first line.
Eg

"Barry."
"Barry this, Barry that," he grumbled to himself.
'Barry.' He opened his locker...
'Barry Jones 21 River Avenue Bath City 4252' Taking a letter opener...
etc

I have scene breaks where the switch happens, and then I begin as if I was writing a brand new chapter. Since the characters are of opposite genders, there is no need for name calling. I sometimes have a paragraph or two in retrospect about what the character just did, or the impressions the character had when the other one was the pov, but I try to keep the most relevant one as the pov to avoid info-dumps. I have one or two scenes so far where I do hop heads, but I'm planning to make those the beginnings and ends of chapters.