Thread: How to describe "Action"

When I read that the Jason Bourne or (the superior) James Bond series was once a book and not the high octane movie series, I had wondered how Robert Ludlum would have choreographed the fight scenes, or portray the suspense that goes with a storyline like that. I attempted to something similar with a short story I wrote and posted in the Crime section of the Fiction forum here. But just incase I did not do it well, how can I improve my techniques on this topic? Are there words I can use, a way I can structure my sentences? Things like that.

I recommend posting in the Writing Workshop section if you're looking for critiques. The workshop is also a bit "safer" in regards to your copyright paranoia, as it's hidden from search engines and non-members.

Generalities can only help so much without concrete examples. But actual feedback on your writing is the best. And also, though I haven't read any of the series, I'm sure reading the Bourne books like you mentioned would definately give you some ideas.

Cheers

Describing action is more-or-less self-explanatory. Think of a guy shaping up to fight another guy. What might he do? Rub his hands down the seams of his pants? Write that. Flex his fingers? Write that. Turn his head and spit? Write that. Move one foot forward? Write that. Pull his head down close to his shoulders? Write that. Feint with his left hand and then jab the other guy on the jaw with his right? Write that. Easy-peasey. Same thing applies to anything a character does. Just ask yourself what it is h/she does to create the moves you call 'action' and write them.

Okay, so you're not writing about a brawl between two men, you're writing about a naval battle. You still follow exactly the same principles. Same with a stripper getting her gear off in a seedy night-club or a jockey flogging his horse into first place in the Kentucky Derby or a British sojer attacking Taliban insurgents in a poppy-field in Kandahar Province, Afghanistan. Just figure out what it is they do and write about it. And that is 'describing action'.

Oh, yeah, I forgot. You also need to use the best words available for any given situation. Avoid adjectives like the plague. Avoid over-use of all the flat conjugations of the verb ‘to be’ such as ‘was’, ‘were’, ‘had’, ‘would’, etc. Use strong verbs and nouns. Don’t say ‘he hit him on the jaw’, say ‘he uncurled a power-house of a punch that knocked the guy into the middle of next week.’

Pretty subtle humor there, OX.

Pace, pace and more pace. Fights and action should be quick. Unless for some reason it shouldn't! (Fighting in quicksand, underwater, or maybe fighting Roger Moore might qualify - he moved like a sloth with man-breasts!). Short sentences. Fragments. Strong verbs, few adjectives. Movement!

What everyone else said, mainly, is what I would have. So I'll just add: use strong sensory imagery. If people are fighting, what textures, smells, tastes, etc can you describe? Don't be boring about it (sweat, blood, etc), but pick something that really makes the scene feel real to the reader.

Thank you for the advice guys! It's not as difficult as I thought it would have been.