Thread: "ha ha", "um" in dialogs

Hi!

Do you think it's ok to do the following:
"Sorry, um, my grandma needed help with her shopping bags. That's why I'm late."
"Ha ha ha, you really think I'm gonna buy this cheap excuse?"

Or is it better to use verbs outside the quotation marks as in:
"Sorry", Tom hesitated, "my grandma needed help with her shopping bags. That's why I'm late."
The man let out a derisive laugh. "You really think I'm gonna buy this cheap excuse?"

?

Same goes for "er", "uh", "hmm", "sh!" etc.

I don't mind a little um, here and there..lol But the verbs outside the quotation is the way to go..

I think you'll find the usage varies quite a bit depending on author preference. Some authors would never use "um" in their dialogue, as well as banishing a ! as unprofessional. But in publishing, you do see these tags sometimes used. They can be used to characterize a way of speaking, especially in instances where there is something unusual about the speech or accent. I am personally, not a fan of the: He let out a derisive laugh. "dialogue" type of set up but it is one that I have seen used. I don't know about "ha ha" except where it is being used sarcastically. Like the person is actually saying "ha ha, very funny." Ha, ha, ha should not be used to describe a character's laughter.

Another thought. These should be used like a very, very strong spice. If it clutters your dialogue, it is distracting and makes it look amateurish. Once and a while, if it suits the purpose, I think it is acceptable. But I do think you should challenge yourself to find other ways to convey the same sentiments those dialogue tags imply. "Um" might imply hesitation. "Er" might signal that the character is unsure of something. Think about what actually prompts these little dialogue quirks.

Good luck!
-Lindsay

I wouldn't use the ha ha, um. That's just my preference -- it seems a little amateurish or something to me.

"Sorry", Tom hesitated, "my grandma needed help with her shopping bags. That's why I'm late."

I wouldn't do that either. Hesitated isn't a dialog tag, or a way of speaking. So the punctuation is incorrect. Even though people do it all the time, it drives me a little crazy.

You could do this:

"Sorry." Tom hesitated. "My grandma needed help with her shopping bags. That's why I'm late."

Or you could add an em dash.

"Sorry--my grandma needed help with her shopping bags. That's why I'm late."

Or if it's really important for you to show he's stalling -- like he's lying or something then something like this:

"Sorry." Tom fiddled with the zipper on his jacket. "My grandma needed help with her shopping bags. That's why I'm late."

There are other ways -- but if it's not important to show he's hesitating -- just leave it out.

The man let out a derisive laugh. "You really think I'm gonna buy this cheap excuse?"

The derisive bit is implied by the dialog.

The man man laughed. "You really think I'm gonna buy this cheap excuse?"

or

"You really think I'm gonna buy this cheap excuse?" the man said, laughing.

Maybe you can just pretend no one ever says um in your imaginary world? I think that's a fair compromise, and you can use ... instead:

"Sorry... my grandma needed help with her shopping bags. That's why I'm late."

That works too.

But generally speaking, avoid onomatopoeia to represent sounds made by people speaking. Use actual words, dialogue tags, and punctuation instead. It will make your dialogue more rich and professional.

As for "Ha ha ha". Don't use it, there are many better ways to write how someone laughs (lol is one, but I don't think any editor or serious reader would forgive you. Oh my, old timers don't ever laugh out loud!).

Originally Posted by elite

As for "Ha ha ha". Don't use it, there are many better ways to write how someone laughs (lol is one, but I don't think any editor or serious reader would forgive you. Oh my, old timers don't ever laugh out loud!).

^This. Laughter is always better described, and let's be honest, people don't just laugh- they chuckle and snicker and do all sorts of things.

As for "Um," I think that there's a time and a place for it, but if it is cluttering things up, then get rid of it.

"Sorry, but, uh, my grandmother kind of needed some help getting her groceries in," can work just as well as any other solution, but if it doesn't feel right to you, then don't use it.

I would say it all depends on your usage. Use "Um" and "ha ha" where its appropriate. It's all about the content. Example, you wouldn't have a genius using Um or Like every five seconds, right? Hope that helps a bit.

Honestly it depends on the dialect of your character as well as the type of author a person is. Thing like that are simply preference and will differ between writers.

I use "uh" or "um" once in awhile, where it fits. It's hard to describe what makes it fit or not, I think you just know, based on the character and how you hear their voice. But usually I try to refrain from using words such as: "like, um, uh," etc to the point where people use them in everyday life. I know that is reality of how people speak but when reading I find it too draggy and headache inducing (it can be in real life too).

As for ha ha... I use that only if the character is saying the words, such as a sarcastic "ha, ha", not as the actual sound of laughter.

There's really no definite rule though is there? You have to consider that stuff like "um" and "haha" are jarring and definitely take something away from 'honest prosaic expression'. The reader isn't expecting them, they stand out, and certainly there are many other ways to get the point across.

But!

Depends on the effect you're trying to create. 95% of the time it's rubbish, but it's your job as author & artist to decide if you're the exception

Unless you want to imply current teenage speech as so many currently do. "And he like, does this thing that was like....so amazing. It was like, awesome!" I think I missed a 'like' or two, in that example...ah well.

It really is no exaggeration to say that all dialog is essentially an idealization of speech. In reality most of sound like twirps when we speak.

People in real life say "um" all the time. Just like they say "ah" too. If you are going for realistic dialogue between real people then these words will get used. Not everyone is an eloquent speaker after all and when people are struggling to talk these filler words will slip out. So I say use them. But use them sparingly and perhaps as part only of a particular character's speech pattern only. If every character is having spasms of "um"s and "ah"s that will definitely get annoying.

Now, as for "Ha, ha, ha," I only use that when the character specifically says, "Ha, ha, ha". You know, like in a sarcastic laugh in response to something that was said like this:

"You sure are ugly in the morning," Peter said as he rolled over in bed to look at Amanda.

"Ha, ha, ha," She replied. She knew that Peter thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world no matter what time of day.

If it is a normal laugh I prefer to say something simply like, "so and so laughed."

Thanks very much, guys. A lot of good points and interesting perspectives here, it'll definitely help, perhaps not only me. Good luck!