Thread: Gender Roles ---> A Rule Made to Be Broken?

Ok, I've been wanting to write about two or three strong female characters in my novel. The catch is that I'm a male. Does that matter? I am a male, so I don't know what it feels like to be a female. I know we may be raised differently, according to gender roles. However, I feel...especially when it comes to fiction...that gender roles are a load of bologne. Do gender roles have to be set in stone in order readers to identify? While it may be true the females tend to display more emotion than men, in my own world, could I reverse that trend and make it sound feasible? I'm not trying to make my female characters masculine. Of course, they may exhibit particular 'masculine' traits. However, they're still humans. Men can do what women can do and vice-versa. Anyone agree?

Basically, characters are characters before they are human, or dragons, or males, or females. Personality is something that in my opinion is gender agnostic. That said, you have to consider the effects of upbringing, and how the story's society could have influenced her mannerisms in the same way you'd do with a male character. It's not that hard though, just stop and think for a little how females usually behave, and overlap your impressions with your character.

I find that stories that go too deep in gender stereotypes annoy me. I dislike manly men as much as I dislike homely women (or worse, the cheerleader types). My characters can usually swap genders without much of a noticeable difference, but I keep the social and biological implications in mind whenever they act or talk. I don't go into details on makeup and girls hygiene because that's honestly looking for trouble .

I agree with elite. The most important thing to focus on is to get the personality of your character right. Then as far as gender is concerned you should consider two additional things. 1) what restrictions/barriers/influence/expectations might they have faced within the society they live. 2) biological implications - for example, if she gets pregnant you might have to do a little research, or ask a mother Authors can (and do) develop a main character in either gender. Readers identify with both - we all go through (mostly) the same 'human' experience after all.

Marthix, it's not "wrong" to write about women if you're a male. I'd say a solid 70% of my stories contain female protagonists. But that's honestly due to the fact that nearly all of the influential people in my life have been women, and I have an easier time putting myself "in the shoes" of a woman while writing fiction than I do with a man.

Reflect why you want strong female leads. Not to make fun of you, but if the answer is along the lines of, "It would be cool," or "Female leads are sexy," you may want to re-evaluate. One of the most time-honored maxims of writing is, "Write what you know." If you know women, write women. If you know men, write men. If you know animals, write from the POV of animals.

One of the primary purposes of fiction is to enable the reader to experience the world through the eyes of a totally different person. Make sure that you know that person very well yourself before you let her out into the world.

Originally Posted by DanCol

Marthix, it's not "wrong" to write about women if you're a male. I'd say a solid 70% of my stories contain female protagonists. But that's honestly due to the fact that nearly all of the influential people in my life have been women, and I have an easier time putting myself "in the shoes" of a woman while writing fiction than I do with a man.

I am also the same: I have an easier time understanding women than fellow men. One exception being my father, another being my childhood friend. It's a mystery to me how most men think, if they are thinking, that is. Some times it feels like some men are just not thinking about anything in particular, and some women are just thinking too much and getting the wrong idea, but I have an easier time with the later since that's what most often happens with me.

Reflect why you want strong female leads. Not to make fun of you, but if the answer is along the lines of, "It would be cool," or "Female leads are sexy," you may want to re-evaluate. One of the most time-honored maxims of writing is, "Write what you know." If you know women, write women. If you know men, write men. If you know animals, write from the POV of animals.

This. While writing strong and independent women is often praised by female readers, writing a manly woman is bound to piss off some of your audience, and come out as cliche. Its best to leave the "manly" stuff very, very far away from your female characters unless it plays a major role in the story (as in, not just an excuse to put her in the middle of a couple explosions). These cases are best approached as deconstructions.

Originally Posted by elite

I am also the same: I have an easier time understanding women than fellow men. One exception being my father, another being my childhood friend. It's a mystery to me how most men think, if they are thinking, that is. Some times it feels like some men are just not thinking about anything in particular, and some women are just thinking too much and getting the wrong idea, but I have an easier time with the later since that's what most often happens with me.

Ha! And here I was thinking I was the only one. Good to find a kindred spirit. Now I'm curious to see some of your prose.

From As Good As It Gets, 1997:
Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

Seriously, two of my main characters from my latest MS are women. One is a Hindu farm girl who grows up to become the head scientist on a spaceship. The other is a Somali refugee that immigrates to America, drops out of seminary and joins the CIA.
You think dealing with their gender was the hard part?

Culture and setting molds the characters. My Hindu lass has fought sexism her whole life, in a rigid caste based society. The Somali chick had to learn how to 'act like a man', or die. The two join forces later in the story. The synergy is.... interesting.

If you 'keep it real', there is no problem.

Thank you all for responding. As for my female leads, I don't want to write them because they 'would be cool' or making them 'manly.' They are going to be unique. Since they're in the military, they do have to defend themselves. They may have to learn to kill in order to survive. I don't think that's a masculine trait; it could be either. I'm definitely going to keep them real. Like I said, there's about two or three important females in my story. Each one is different in her own way. They will all sport their own 'toughness' somehow, but they are vulnerable. Like anyone else, they are human and have feelings. Does it sound like I'm going in the right direction?

Can anyone please respond to my previous question (in the post above)?

I've read a few books in my life, and there have been many women pov's written by both men and women. Honestly, a good character is believable as long as they act according to their character. Women don't have to act or think like women...I know I've met some women more 'manly' than I am. Good characters are ones that are consistent with their character. The way they think, the things they would or wouldn't do, those have to be solid. Must a woman act a certain way, or think a certain way? No, they don't. Good characters are believable and throughout the story remain so. Everything else about them...like what sex they are...will only have bearing on how they fit in the story.

If you don't feel confident about your ability to pull it off, write some short stories with women as the pov character and see what people think. Short stories are the most wonderful device for working on something without the longer term dedication of a novel. No matter what you do with it at the end, I find them one of the more useful forms for experimenting in new things.

Thanks Lord Darkstorm. I was going to say, authors shouldn't hold their characters to gender roles or whatever. Personally, I think we see too much of it. I feel that both genders can do whatever the heck they want to. As for the author's readers, perhaps they'll either respect or disrespect the author. Everyone has their critics. But, I think, it blows the door open for something new. My characters, especially the women and despite that I'm a male, are true to themselves. Why should I allow outside forces to define who they are?

One of the most amazing pieces of writing that I've read is Delories Claiborne by Stephen King. He wrote it entirely from a woman's perspective and did a wonderful job. So yes, I do think a man can write women characters and agree with many others here that the character comes first.

Thanks Pamela! Well, if Stephen King proved it is possible, then I don't see why it's not possible for me too!

I find myself writing mostly female mc, or if a male main character a good strong female, not just for romantic interest.

After thinking about it maybe you can figure it out:
I married a nurse with mostly female cousins, I have two daughters(teens), I am a nurse(18yrs) and until 2 months ago I was the only male in the clinic.

Women are not that different from men. Each person has unique mannerisms, you could focus on the cliche typical aspects,
but you could do the same for men. Women can have any attitude imaginable(they do have attitudes but so do most men.)
they can have any occupation, be any build, height, weight.
If you write her, she can be anything you want to make her. The submissive females in soceity as a whole is gone.
My most deadly assasin is a woman(Delphi), I have a orphan thief(Dakara) with trust issues that is timid in society, but she stands on what she believes in. Another is a talkitive friendly girl that is a psi healer.(Serana)

Originally Posted by Marthix2011

Thank you all for responding. As for my female leads, I don't want to write them because they 'would be cool' or making them 'manly.' They are going to be unique. Since they're in the military, they do have to defend themselves. They may have to learn to kill in order to survive. I don't think that's a masculine trait; it could be either. I'm definitely going to keep them real. Like I said, there's about two or three important females in my story. Each one is different in her own way. They will all sport their own 'toughness' somehow, but they are vulnerable. Like anyone else, they are human and have feelings. Does it sound like I'm going in the right direction?

Most of what you seem so afraid to write already is proven to be possible because it exists in real life/humanity. So relax and just write, don't scare yourself out of developing characters that feel right to be having certain characteristics that they almost naturally seem to need to have for your stories.