Thread: Magic System Critique

Hey everybody. I've been working on fleshing out more about the world of my novel before getting too deep into it, and as it is a fantasy setting one of the most important aspects is obviously the magic system. The most important thing I think is to create a system with clear rules, so that it is a tool with known uses and limits, and not a deus ex machina that can be used as a lazy solution to any given situation. I was hoping to get a critique of the rules I have come up with.

Magic in the setting I'm writing in is referred to as Magick, with a loose definition of being "the science and art of causing change to occur in conformity with will". It is an extremely powerful and dangerous ability that a rare few are born with. There are three rules.

1) Magick is temporary. The universe is a living thing with a will of its own and a natural order that it imposes on all things. Mages have the ability to overcome this order and, through strength of will, substitute their own. Things influenced by Magick will immediately begin to shift back from their altered state to one that is in accordance with the natural order as soon as the Mage’s spell ends. Magical creations will not immediately vanish, but will become subject to ordinary laws of physics. This basically means that anything that could occur ordinarily in nature will remain, while things that are impossible will not. For example, stone magically altered to shape itself into a house will remain a house when the spell ends, because such a thing is possible to do by hand, but a house made of clouds would immediately behave like clouds once freed of the spell that shaped it, becoming intangible and drifting apart.

2) Magick is a tug of war between the Mage and the Universe. While a spell is active the Mage will feel Strain, physical exertion caused by the Universe trying to reassert dominance over the aspect of itself that is being changed. The more radical the change the Mage wishes to create, the greater the Strain. Strain will eventually kill the Mage if they do not release their hold.

3) Magick has absolute limits. For example, the dead cannot be brought back to life and the flow of time cannot be directly interfered with or traversed. While technically not impossible, the amount of effort required to do these things is so great that it would instantly kill any mortal creature who dared to try.

What do you think of this system? Has it been used elsewhere in some series I'm not aware of? Are there any serious holes in the rules? Thanks!

Does that mean that an incredibly powerful mage could, for instance, have a house made of clouds so long as he maintains a passive spell that invokes it? If I materialize an iron swords out of thin air, would it disappear after a while? What are the rules that govern the actual casting process? Since this is based of imagination and willpower, I assume I could, given sufficient power, create a giant tree out of the blue? What about elemental magic, such as fire, or telekinesis?

I think you need to define some limits for those things, and more specifically how things that alter forces and energy behave in contrast to actually creating things. A fire is perfectly possible, does that mean that creating a huge firestorm is easier than creating a house made of clouds?

Other than that, I love it. I love magic systems that have an explanation, set limits, and don't feel overpowered. I'm more of a fan of the "mana" system, but this is pretty good.

What do you think of this system? Has it been used elsewhere in some series I'm not aware of? Are there any serious holes in the rules? Thanks!

The most similar thing I can think of is Tsukihime and all other works of the same author. The system there is very similar in the sense that the world is an entity with a set of "rules" which cannot be violated. A sufficiently powerful magi can create a "Reality Marble" where all the rules can be broken, but the created world will collapse as soon as the spell is over. These reality marbles can only be used by high level heroic spirits and true ancestors. However, the difference is that these rules cannot be violated under any other circumstances. Creating something out of the blue is merely illusion magic, and most spells are either elemental or of the summoning sorts.

Hope this was helpful, good luck!

I like rule one, I am less enamoured of rule two, the image of a tug of war is quite a violent one. I would rather see an efficient mage as being like a gardener who takes out a bud here and there or bends over a young shoot to get a plant to grow the way he wants, rather than like one who ties it to a wire topiary frame and forces it to grow into unnatural shapes.

Have you read "Sparrowhawk, Wizard of Earthsea" by Ursula LeGuin? It is the first of a trilogy. She has a neat explanation of the way that magic interferes with the natural order, so should be used sparingly to "tweak" things and obtain long term results, as it is always a case of upsetting a natural balance. Ms LeGuin was the daughter of two very well known social scientists and it is reflected in her fiction to considerable effect, the 'Earthsea' trilogy were written as children's books, but they are the sort that anyone can read with pleasure.

Originally Posted by elite

Does that mean that an incredibly powerful mage could, for instance, have a house made of clouds so long as he maintains a passive spell that invokes it? If I materialize an iron swords out of thin air, would it disappear after a while? What are the rules that govern the actual casting process? Since this is based of imagination and willpower, I assume I could, given sufficient power, create a giant tree out of the blue? What about elemental magic, such as fire, or telekinesis?

I think you need to define some limits for those things, and more specifically how things that alter forces and energy behave in contrast to actually creating things. A fire is perfectly possible, does that mean that creating a huge firestorm is easier than creating a house made of clouds?

Other than that, I love it. I love magic systems that have an explanation, set limits, and don't feel overpowered. I'm more of a fan of the "mana" system, but this is pretty good.

Within the system it is possible to make a house of clouds, but it would only remain a house for exactly as long as the Mage maintains the spell. A spell is basically cast by envisioning something and willing it to exist, without any words, gestures etc. All spells must be consciously maintained in the Mage's mind or they will end. It is possible to maintain multiple spells at once, but it requires perfect concentration and will. A larger part of Mage training is meditation, memorization and creative thinking.

As for creating things from thin air, I think I will have it so that it is possible, but such creations are constructs of pure willpower that disappear after the spell ends, because it breaks natural laws of conservation of energy/mass. If the Mage has access to iron, or really any preexisting material, they can make something permanent from it as long as the material would naturally hold the shape without magickal assistance. There is still some more brainstorming to do but I'm glad that you like most of what I've got so far =)

Originally Posted by Olly Buckle

Have you read "Sparrowhawk, Wizard of Earthsea" by Ursula LeGuin? It is the first of a trilogy. She has a neat explanation of the way that magic interferes with the natural order, so should be used sparingly to "tweak" things and obtain long term results, as it is always a case of upsetting a natural balance. Ms LeGuin was the daughter of two very well known social scientists and it is reflected in her fiction to considerable effect, the 'Earthsea' trilogy were written as children's books, but they are the sort that anyone can read with pleasure.

I'm a big fan of Earthsea actually, though I've only read the first one so far. I think it is one of the more unique and well thought out magic systems in fantasy. I didn't want to outright duplicate it my story, but I want my magic users to have similar restrictions in how they alter things, and it should have a toll on themselves and the world around them. I might rethink the side effects of prolonged magic use a bit.

I have to say I like your rules, especially rule number two. I found myself thinking 'ah so that's how it works' makes more sense to me than most of the complex fantasy novels I've read

Sounds neat. Be sure to give Mr. Crowley some credit.

Some random thoughts, in no particular order.

Sounds pretty much exactly the same as most other simple systems of magic. Most resembles David Eddings 'Will and Word' system. Read the Belgariad for a comparison.

Magic being temporary is a nice twist.

You've covered the basics
- What can and can't be done
- The cost to the caster of using magic
- How the magic works

You might want to consider
- How a casters abilities can be supressed/enhanced
- How training fits in
- How people in the world react to magic
- 'Good' and 'evil'
- How easy is magic, as opposed to the old fashioned way

Obviously your plot/climax will involve someone trying to break number three. Has to be done, unless your world contains no narrativium.

Your system is incredibly flexible. This is not good or bad, just something to be aware of. You can get some very bizzare situations.

Very few decent fantasys use magic as a dues ex machina