Thread: When non-descript characters speak to each other...

is it really needed to tag their quotes?

Example:

Day 1

The nurses were careful to not talk around the visiting staff, but the rumors spread fast regardless since those who came into contact with Michael walked out of the room shaken from a feeling of being violated.


"Did you see the guy in 17?"

"No. Why?"

"His eyes...so creepy."

It can be done but it’s all down to structure. If you rearrange the words…

Day 1

Those who came into contact with Michael walked out of the room shaken from a feeling of being violated. The rumors spread fast. Not from the nurses, who were careful to confine their comments to the quieter parts of the corridor.

"Did you see the guy in 17?"

"No. Why?"

"His eyes...so creepy."

Consider how it would read with tags.

"Did you see the guy in 17?" said Jill

"No. Why?" said Jack

"His eyes...so creepy." said Jill

Now it is a conversation between two distinct people. Nobody else in the hospital is privy to the infomation. Without the tags its a rumour everyone has heard.

There are other times having no tags is appropriate too. Sometimes a caracters speech pattern is distinctive enough to be its own tag.

Earnest Hemmingway was great at not using tags. Most notable when his characters greeted each other or parted, where it didn't matter who said hello first, but the greeting was important.

Much better without the tags. If the characters speaking aren't descript and don't need to be, don't bother wasting the words.

If the words aren't spoken by important characters then I'd be thinking of ways that I could revise it so the important characters are saying or hearing those words. Otherwise it's pretty much just a barely disguised info-dump to the reader.

Originally Posted by movieman

If the words aren't spoken by important characters then I'd be thinking of ways that I could revise it so the important characters are saying or hearing those words. Otherwise it's pretty much just a barely disguised info-dump to the reader.

Makes sense. I've started to rewrite the beginning to put that scene, or something similar, farther in.

I think it's better if you put the scene within one of the main characters' room of perception. that way the scene would be more involved with the whole story. of course, how you will do it and to what degree the main characters are involved depends on your way of telling the story. like movieman said, it could be described as the important characters are hearing (or overhearing) those words.