Thread: Adding an occasional narrator viewpoint

Hi Guys,

I've just started writing my first novel and a few pages into chapter two I've run into a bit of a roadblock. My story so far has been taken from two perspectives, a little girl called Emily and also her father, Tom.

When the story is being told from Tom's point of view I refer to people by their name, e.g. Tom is Tom, Emily's mother is 'Amy' but when I'm telling the story from Emily's point of view I don't use her parents name, merely referring to them as 'Mummy' and 'Daddy', I have reached a point in the middle of one of Emily's scenes where I want to describe Emily's home in more detail, this will involve talking about Tom and Amy's financial situations and a little bit of back story. Is it OK to suddenly switch into 'Narrator mode' and refer to them as Tom and Amy even though it is the middle of an 'Emily' scene or will that mess up the tone?

Just to clarify that a little bit, with the exception of thoughts and dialogue it is all written in the third person but the tone changes depending on whose story I'm telling.

Thanks guys.

Alex.

It may damage the continuity if you refer to them as Tom and Amy when you've previously been using mummy and daddy. There could also be some difficulty when talking about the couple's past and finances, as these may be things that Emily doesn't know enough about. Is there any way to tell this part from Tom's point of view?

Originally Posted by yingguoren

It may damage the continuity if you refer to them as Tom and Amy when you've previously been using mummy and daddy. There could also be some difficulty when talking about the couple's past and finances, as these may be things that Emily doesn't know enough about. Is there any way to tell this part from Tom's point of view?

That's what I was afraid of, I could do but my plan for the story was to have each other chapter be a flash-back to a happier time, I'd intended for these to only come from Emily's viewpoint. Here is the part I'm writing now:

Emily meant to savour her breakfast, she really did, everything tasted so good but she was so excited about her presents that she cleaned her plate in ten minutes flat.


Mummy took Emily's hands and placed them over her eyes and led her into the living room.


/*********** HERE ********/



"OK" Mummy said "Now you can open your eyes".

The 'here' part is where I want to describe the house, I could do it without providing backstory I guess, it just seemed to be a good place to do it.

Love the signature by the way

OK I think i found a way around it. I'm not giving as much back story as I wanted to but that can come later I suppose:

Mummy took Emily's hands and placed them over her eyes and led her into the living room. "OK" Mummy said "Now you can open your eyes".


Emily removed her hands from her eyes and looked around the living room. It was a modestly sized but beautifully decorated room, the walls were painted white with lime green flourishes, in the centre of the room was an ornate Victorian-style fireplace, the chimney stack, which had been painted green was the centre piece of the room Daddy was an illustrator and had drawn a white leaf pattern all over it, the pattern perfectly framed the large flat-screen television which was mounted above the fireplace. The furniture was all relatively new and all matched perfectly, Pudsey had found her way into the living room whilst Emily was eating her breakfast and was now dozing on the white leather sofa which was placed right next to the door.


In the corner of the room she saw her Daddy with a camcorder pointing at her, mummy was sat on the sofa next to her with a big grin on her face, then her eyes turned to the sofa-chair, just next to the chair was the biggest pile of presents Emily had ever seen. Each present was wrapped carefully in pink, spotty paper and tied with a yellow ribbon. Emily's hands involuntarily flew above her head and started wiggling uncontrollably whilst she shrieked with delight. After a few seconds she managed to compose herself enough to gain some of her motor control back and used that opportunity to dive on her Mummy and give her a big kiss.

Hi Alex,

Congratulations on finding a way out of this knot. The bad news is that, as you progress with your story, it will crop up time and again. Perhaps you could find a way to rebuild the framework. To help ease the reader's confusion, your narrator can take the first chapter to explain how the story is going to work. Then you can break the story down with each chapter told by a character. Another trick, though this one gets messy, is giving each character a different font. Although it help to clarify who is saying what, it can make the page look less pleasant than a consistent font.

Groundbreaking writing techniques are always welcome in the writing world. Just remember that readers have to be taught how to read what you've presented or they'll give up in frustration.

Keep at it and keep us posted!

Yes I imagine you are right there, I may have to rethink this a little.

Thanks for the advice