Thread: Hero with a hidden motive?

Hey there y'all,

I was wondering if you good folks could give your two cents about this.

At the moment, I'm drafting a fantasy tale about the bastard son of a king who infiltrates his father's army and gradually climbs the ladder to exact his revenge on his old man. Most of the main arc builds up to this plot-twist, so I don't wish to give away the hero's motive or background until that point. But if we're supposed to establish the protagonist's motivation as soon as possible, how is this going to work? Would I simply have to bluff it and have him live a lie to the audience before his true motives unravel themselves?

Is there any way to make this work effectively? Another idea I had was to shuffle this character aside and designate another protag, someone in more of an 'everyman' role, but I'm certainly open to other ideas.


Thanks,

I don't think you really need to lie. Give him a cocky personality, and the motive of wanting power and wealth need not be explained. Who doesn't want power and wealth?

Alternatively, you could do the story from the perspective of a soldier who befriends the son. The friend could be dragged along with the sons rise to power, and be told of the truth somewhere down the line.

You need to introduce the motive or develop it or the reader will have no idea why the character as doing something and can't relate to it. If you want a hidden motive then why not make it a motive that was induced upon him later in the story. So start with one motive but have it develope it into another as the story progresses.

Example:
The bastard son joins the army to find redemption in the eyes of his father. His growing hate for his father disowning him grows. His hate eventually blooms enough that he makes an attempt to kill his father.

You could also reveal portions of the motive through the story with the final piece right before he kills the father. It could be revealed through flashbacks or other characters to slowly piece the whole picture together in the readers mind.

Ever watch an anime? Stupid question, but a lot of the main characters have secret motives in them. Like Code Geass, the main character, Lelouch, constantly denounces his fathers goal of making the world exist in the past (by freezing all human minds in the moment), and keeps alluding to his goal of, and this was only revealed during the last five minutes of the show, having all of humanities hatred focused on him, so when they died, people could move forward.

So, show his hidden motive in his actions, show it in his thoughts, but never directly until you see the perfect opportunity to do so. Make sense? Sorry for boring you otherwise

Oh I see what you mean. Yes I watch anime but i skipped Code Geass because I'm not into mechas. But i get it. I remember a hidden motive in watchmen, when the smart guy finally reveals his plot that he was planning all along at the very end.

I don't think you could make a character with a hidden motive the main character or it would be hard to let the reader know anything that the character is thinking. Only writing about a characters actions is a good way to keep a motive secret but will create a very boring and confusing story.

I think hidden motives are common in antagonists like at the end of stories when a bad guy reveals his whole plan and maybe gives a little insight on it.

It also depends if you want to unravel his hidden motives as a flashback, monologue, dialogue with his best friend whom he trusts, etc. As long as you deliver this in a subtle way and not like " A long time ago there lived a prince who wanted to kill his pops.", it will work. I like the idea, by the way, be sure to show us the first results.

My recommendation, use it at your own risk: Give away little by little as the story goes. Less cliche and adds to suspense.

A secondary character for POV is a great option. That friend (or parent, or half-brother, bystander, whatever) wouldn't be in on the "secret" motivations, and would have to make a decision between friend or king later, which is much more interesting than "You big meanie! How dare you sire me! I'll teach you to give me life!" and "More assorted teenage angst and 'grittiness'!".

There's nothing in it for a bastard. The king probably has legitimate kids, probably has lots of other people vying for his position (brothers, uncles, cousins, etc), and those people get the job ahead of an unacknowledged bastard.

I think it'd be great is the kind weren't even the kid's father. Kid grows up, hates the king, maybe even plots to kill him, then "voila!" He's not the bastard after all, but rather looks just like the king's best friend (oh, those boys did everything together) or someone else entirely.

I've seen people try to do this a number of times, but it rarely worked. One novel whose title I can't remember which kind of worked had the story told from the character's journal for the first two thirds and then went to first person once the twist happened, where he said he'd been faking the journal because the cultist bad guys were reading it while he was working to infiltrate them. In another one ('Dinosaur Beach') even the protagonist didn't know his motivation until the final twist.

Generally I think I'd feel cheated if the protagonist has a well defined motivation and just hides it from me.

For another great example of hidden motives, do a youtube search for WKUK (Whitest Kids You Know) "Opus." (warning, nsfw.)

Thanks a lot for all your replies so far. I'm glad you understand where I'm coming from.

Btw, the story will continue long after the prince's (failed) assassination plot, and take on a new direction, but I'm not getting ahead of myself here.

I think having a POV character, as I alluded to in my original post, would be the best idea. There's a character I've been trying to tie into the story for awhile, so this could work. They meet the "ambitious" young swordsman (our bastard prince) and during his rise to fame on the battlefield they become close war buddies. But when our bastard prince reveals his plot to assassinate the king, our POV hero must decide where his loyalties lie.

I'd love to share more, but if you give away too much of your story you lose the impetus to write it.

Maybe you could reveal everything about the son's cause for a grudge without revealing he's the son. Like you could say how the king ruined his childhood and killed his mother without giving that away. Then the reader won't feel cheated by the protagonist because his motive will still be intact. Just that one detail will be added.

What makes the better story?

motive and background hidden: So it is the story of the career of a rising warrior until a hidden unforeseen twist is revealed. What is there to keep the reader's interest? This requires a fascinating surface story or some other compelling plot line. Tough to do right, and only works if the reveal serves the narrative.

motive hidden, background revealed: The story of a bastard son ostensibly trying to prove himself to his father, until his success and bitterness spill out on the page in revenge. This has merit.

motive revealed, background hidden: The question of why revenge is sought may hold the reader's attention and the covert nature of the pursuit of the goal may cause suspense, while still leaving a sufficient reveal to gratify the reader.

motive and background revealed: The only question left is whether he will be successful.

The best plot twist is one which is unexpected when it occurs but clearly indicated in hindsight. The reader wants to be able to look back and see that you were leading up to the surprise, rather than feel as if the author got to page 326 and thought this book is boring let's throw something in totally out of left field that is not foreshadowed at all.

There's so many diffent ways to tell the same story. All of these ways could be great if you're good enough.

I've read a fantasy novel (I think George R.R.Martin) where a bastard son was also the eldest son. He was then in the position where he had to take orders from his younger half-brother, the Prnce Regent. This situation obviously created a lot of friction.

I'm starting to see some unintentional similarities between my character and Mordred from Arthurian legend. In some incarnations, he was also the bastard son of a great king who infiltrates his father's kingdom and plots his demise. This could certainly be an inspiration for my story, albeit with a more heroic take on such a character instead of the proverbial snake in the grass.

I think it's fine for the narrator of the story to lie, as long as he has a valid reason for doing it, which will presumably be revealed at the end.

**Spoiler alert**


You might want to have a look at The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie. The murderer in this book is actually the narrator, but he doesn't give away that fact until the end. He intended to write a manuscript of the investigation into the murder as a snub to the investigator, Poirot. He believed that he would get away with the murder and then send the manuscript as a confession to Poirot.

It's a cleverly written book and the narrator uses lots of tricks to disguise the fact that he is the murderer. Such as lying about his alibi and pointing the finger of guilt at other characters to try and put the detective off the scent, until revealing himself at the end.