Thread: Question about word usage or synonym suggestion needed

Sorry to post such a basic question here, but I can't decide. Is it correct to say someone "swayed into the room"? What about "swaggered into the room"? I'm pretty sure the second is wrong, but not sure about the first. I'm trying to find an alternative to stumbled and staggered. "Lurch" seems to give the wrong visual image. If it helps the person is arrogant and drunk.
Thanks!
-HM

Sway implies that the subject is standing still. Swagger is more of a cocky walk, done by someone who is really into them self - think any guy on that Jersey Shore show.

I tend to like stumble and stagger. They're to the point and easily understood. If you really need to jazz it up, try adding an adverb.

He clumsily stumbled into the room.

He drunkenly staggered across the dance floor.

Now for emphasis, add an action that reinforces how out of control the guy really is.

He drunkenly staggered across the dance floor, rudely bumping into patrons as he made his way to the DJ booth.

But simple is always good too... and easy to read.

He staggered across the dance floor bumping into patrons as he made his way to the DJ Booth.

Sorry. I guess I should have explained the reason for my question. I've already used both stagger and stumble in the previous sentences. I currently have stumble used twice within 4 sentences. So I need another way to describe his movement without repeating myself.

Here are the ways I've used these words:

She heard his body stumbling into the closed door.
The door swung open and he staggered in ...
He stumbled toward her and ...


hmmmm maybe I could replace the first one. What about:

She heard his body thump into the closed door.
She heard his body thud into the closed door.

hmmm none of these seem exactly right. I want the impression that he's unsteady and stumbles/trips causing him to bump into the door. But I want to keep the wordage succinct.

Thoughts?

Originally Posted by heartmama

Sorry. I guess I should have explained the reason for my question. I've already used both stagger and stumble in the previous sentences. I currently have stumble used twice within 4 sentences. So I need another way to describe his movement without repeating myself.

Here are the ways I've used these words:

She heard his body stumbling into the closed door. His "body" cannot stumble. He can stumble, but to say "his body" sounds really weird.
The door swung open and he staggered in ...
He stumbled toward her and ...


hmmmm maybe I could replace the first one. What about:

She heard his body thump into the closed door.
She heard his body thud into the closed door.

hmmm none of these seem exactly right. I want the impression that he's unsteady and stumbles/trips causing him to bump into the door. But I want to keep the wordage succinct.

Thoughts?

What I'm feeling here is that you're trying to give too many details.

You could avoid this problem entirely by using fewer sentences. "She heard a thud. He staggered through the door and..." Give the reader a little more credit. If he staggers through the door and knocks her face in, the reader will be able to infer that this staggering continued as he moved from the doorway to wherever "she" happens to be.

Thumps and thuds strike me as final sort of sounds, what you get when you hit the floor, I'd go with 'crashed'.
Ilasir is right, when something like this seems insoluble it is a good idea to go back to basics and rethink.

Do you remember Marilyn Monroe? She would sway into a room but never swagger.

Originally Posted by The Backward OX

Do you remember Marilyn Monroe? She would sway into a room but never swagger.

She swayed in places other women don't even have places.

Shuffled? She heard him shuffling through the door?
Just a suggestion.

he entered the room as if about to fall flat on his face?

He staggered as he walked into the room. She caught him as he fell.
'You're drunk', he said.
'Not me. You', she said.
'Oh. Okay', he said.

Just wanted to leave a note letting you know that I did read all the replies and appreciate them. I think I have it solved now and largely due to all the wonderful suggestions and advice. So thanks!

I would personally go with swaggered, or 'swaggered drunkenly'. That implies the arrogance you're looking to instil.