Thread: Any tips to liven up scenes?

I may be new to writing but I know enough that scenes would need life in them, more important for action scenes, say, a sword fight where the reader would need to be engaged. I want to not bore them with the fights seeming to drone on so any tips?

I read in an article a while ago (can't remember where now) but something that stuck with me was to act stuff out, if the characters running then go for a run yourself or if they're punching, physically throw a punch and note how it feels, the sensations and feelings and work it into the scene.

Any suggestions/links to articles for bringing scenes to life? or is it simply a matter of learning it through practise?

What I do is what you described. I act it out many times before I actually put it down. That's my best advice. I'm also a little new to this too.

Like said above. Act it out.

If you can put yourself in the place of the character. Try to feel what they feel, see what they see, hear what they hear, etc etc etc.

I also go through the motions so I can write it better. I'd be walking along through the unit at the refinery, then stop and take a stance as if I was holding a sword. It helped me to visualize it better. In my first novel the main character is sent to town for supplies. The pure bloods, those who were born in Spain met there every evening to woo the women from the back of their horses. They were called guachupines and considered themselves above those born in the new colonies such as Felipe. My main character Felipe had been trained in the art of the sword since childhood. Here goes...

As he approached the square, the finely gilded carriages with the ladies lined the street. Young Cabrillos wearing fine clothes and silver spurs rode pure blooded stallions and competed for the attention and affection of the well dressed ladies. As he approached an intersection, a mule train went by and he stopped to let them pass. He looked to his right and saw a woman in a carriage. She waved her fan in front of her face and peered at him with smiling, catlike eyes. She then dropped the fan and smiled at him. She was beautiful and being a gentleman Felipe smiled back at her and tipped his hat.


The young gachupine who was courting her shouted from the other side of the carriage. “You! Criollo! How dare you address a woman of proper breeding? Move along before I beat you like the dog that you are!” Even as the words left his lips he knew that he had made a grave error. All he had seen was a commoner sitting on a wagon. Now, as he looked into the steady, confident eyes of Felipe he saw no trace of the fear that he had expected.

He now saw the heavily muscled arms, the piercing eyes and the scar. But most unnerving of all was the look of utter confidence in the man’s eyes and the fine sword at his side. Few Criollos dared to carry a sword so they would not have to answer a challenge. He waited for a response from Felipe and this was even more unnerving.

Felipe studied the young man in front of him. Although he was supremely confident in his skill he had never faced another man in real mortal combat or killed another. Still, this man was pushing him. He casually looked over his left shoulder and then his right and replied “Are you by any chance addressing me?”

The woman in the carriage giggled and the man’s face flushed crimson. It was unheard of for a Criollo to speak back to a Gachupine. He had been embarrassed in front of the lady that he was courting by a Criollo and had lost face, this was unacceptable in his culture. Bolstering his courage he reared his horse up in a show of bravado but Felipe was not impressed. He trotted his horse around in front of the carriage and again shouted “I said move along! Do not make me draw my sword. I will kill you where you stand.”

Now he had gone too far and Felipe would not back down or be intimidated. “I just honed and polished my blade.” He looked around on the seat beside him. “I do not have a cloth to clean your blood off of it when we are through. If you choose to cross swords with me, it will be the worse, and last mistake that you will ever make. But if you insist, I will give you the time to go and get your final affairs in order and to write your will. I will wait here and entertain this lady until you return.”

Again the woman giggled and the man, although deeply afraid was so deeply insulted that he had to respond. He dismounted and drew his sword. Felipe shook his head and sighed “Foolish man.” he said as he jumped lightly to the ground and drew his sword.

Just from the man’s stance Felipe immediately knew that he had no idea of what he was doing. He stood facing Felipe, flat footed with his feet planted two feet apart. He was in no position to maneuver, to advance or retreat. He held his sword low, pointed at Felipe’s navel. This left his entire head, neck and upper torso exposed and unprotected.

Also from his stance, Felipe knew that he had probably never even practiced with his sword and only drew it to admire it. He could have easily lanced his heart with the precision of a surgeon and walked away. But Andreas had instilled character as well as skill in him and he had no intention of killing such an outclassed opponent.

Felipe took his stance. He stood on the balls of his feet with his heels slightly raised. His right foot was forward and his left leg was back behind him. He could spring in any direction. His body was canted slightly to the left and the tip of his sword in his right hand pointed at the base of the man’s throat.

Women began getting out of their carriages and hurrying to the scene and the other caballeros trotted up on their horses to watch this drama unfold. Although much showmanship took place at the square, an actual sword fight was rarely, if ever seen. They circled around the two men.

Felipe asked him “Are you certain that you want to go through with this? Are you really prepared to die? You can simply sheath your sword and walk away, there is no shame.”

With his friends and peers gathered and watching that was not an option now, he would forever be branded as a coward to a Criollo. He drew his sword back over his right shoulder and made a strong but clumsy stroke at Felipe’s neck which was easily parried.

“You may as well have written me a letter.” Felipe said, “I saw that stroke coming for miles. Again, I will ask you to concede.”

The man was infuriated and began to swing wildly, each attempt was easily deflected by Felipe. At the end of one stroke his sword was down as was his guard. Felipe swung hard and slapped him on his right ear with the flat side of his blade. The percussion of air against his eardrum and inner ear made a loud ringing sound in his ear that was very disorienting and also affected his balance.

Andreas had done this to Felipe many times to teach him not to drop his guard. The man shook his head. Felipe told him “That ringing in your ear will not go away for some time. While you can still hear me I will ask you just once more to concede. I will not ask you again.”

Although clearly outclassed the man could not bear to be branded as a coward for the rest of his life. He thought that perhaps he would receive a wound that would not be fatal and that would end the fight and he could still save face. Again the man stepped forward and this time he tried a thrust at Felipe’s chest. Felipe deflected the blade to his left and stepped into the man. He grabbed the man’s sword hand with his left hand and hit the man square in his nose with the pommel on the hilt of his sword. Blood spurted from the man’s nose and ran down his face.

“Try not to let the blood drip on the hilt of your sword. It will make it slippery.” Felipe told him.

The man had a dazed look on his face so Felipe waited for him to recover. He again shook his head in an attempt to clear it and swung again at Felipe. Felipe parried the swing and slapped the man hard on his left ear with the flat side of his blade.

The man’s ears were ringing so loudly now and his balance was so affected by the percussion on his inner ears that he stood dumbly with a dazed look on his face, his sword out in front of him.


Felipe quickly circled his blade around the man’s sword capturing it in a spiral motion and slung his sword out of his hand. It clattered onto the cobblestone street. He turned to his left and kicked him hard in the center of his chest. The man fell in a heap, moaning and holding his ears. Felipe sheathed his sword and turned toward his wagon. The circle of gachupines, the caballeros on their steeds and the ladies parted. He walked to his wagon, got on and rode away.

He gathered the supplies that he needed from the merchants and again approached the square. They young caballeros stopped their stallions and watched him pass with a cautious eye but none challenged him. The ladies in their gilded carriages dropped their fans and openly smiled at him admiringly.

It was exciting and refreshing to them to see a real man who had the courage and skill to fight but also had the strength of character not to kill a lesser opponent. He was so unlike the well dressed dandies who courted them and he demanded the respect of other men. Of course to be with a man of lower social status was unacceptable, but he had fanned the flames of passion, desire and fantasy within them.

Thanks for the help, and looking pretty good Ditch ^^

It's ok so long as you don't end up spraying bullets all about an airport terminal.

Acting it out is all well and good when it's something simple like a sword fight. When you need to know the recoil of a Mossberg shotgun, things get a little more difficult. That's where research and imagination serve well.