Thread: Does this sound like a good plot or is it overdone? (sci-fi-romance-adventure story)

I have a plot planned out for the novel I'm currently writing but I don't know if I'm making it too complicated. So here it is:

Our heroine is kidnapped by a mysterious man who drags her through the state. He says that he wants her as his sidekick, but she has no idea how he found out about her. Later she discovers that he is part of a group who is on a mission to kill the president. As the two endure an adventure of running from the FBI, she realizes that she's falling for him. That's why she hasn't tried harder to get away from him.
The man's two sidekicks catch up and one shows an obvious dislike for the heroine. She overhears the three talking and catches on to that they are all from the future.
Her kidnapper, who seems to have a romantic interest in her, explains that they are all part of a futuristic project to save the world from it's ruin. In looking upon the past, they discovered that President Obama's actions would eventually lead to the end of the world as we know it.
Then, one of the kidnapper's helpers turns on everyone and reveals that he is actually a government spy from the present who used the underground time travel technology that we have now to intervene with the futuristic plans. He thinks that the heroine will join him to defeat her kidnappers. Overcome with love for her kidnapper, she shoots the government guy and continue on the mission.
I don't know if they will perform the assassination or not, but in the end, the kidnapper and the heroine will have to part ways even though they are destined because he is from the future and must keep a low profile. He can't return to the future because it no longer exists in this reality.

So, is it too involved, is there anything I should change, or should I go for it?

It sounds like an intriguing adventure. I'm not sure why they would have to part ways, why couldn't they keep a low profile together? It also slightly sounds like Pastwatch: The Redemption of Christopher Columbus if you've ever read that. Another thing, the plot is very predictable, we would all know in the beginning that she would fall for her kidnapper. All stories are like that. It would be nice for a change to see a story when the girl didn't fall for her kidnapper. Don't take me wrong, I DO like the plot, it is just slightly predictable.

Go for it, though you could make up the name of the president rather than using Obama.

Originally Posted by Hawke

Go for it, though you could make up the name of the president rather than using Obama.

I thought of that myself, using the actual name could be a bit (extremely) controversial.

Write it anyway.

With the predictability of falling for her kidnapper I'd put this firmly into the Romance genre. It is very expected and there are a lot of books out there that have the same sort of feel to them and follow the same sort of formula. On the other hand, there are a lot of them out there and they are very popular.

Originally Posted by The Blue Pencil

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Our heroine is kidnapped by a mysterious man who drags her through the state. He says that he wants her as his sidekick, but she has no idea how he found out about her. Later she discovers that he is part of a group who is on a mission to kill the president. As the two endure an adventure of running from the FBI, she realizes that she's falling for him. That's why she hasn't tried harder to get away from him.

This doesn't make any sense.

Why her of all 6 billion people on earth?

Ah, time travel. That little pearl of creative potential...

It's like a puppy that seems cute until you attempt to pat it, at which point it bites the tip of your finger off and gnaws on it while you back out of the room in complete shock.

If he succeeds in stopping El Presidente then surely he disappears as soon as it happens because his actions changed the course of history so he wouldn't have been sent back in time to perform the assasination that he was required to carry out because that version of the future didn't occur except he still came back because it happened in the story but then that only makes sense if every moment in time is on a continuous, permanent loop so he still existed in the present even though he wouldn't have in the future but then how did he come back in time to begin with but...

And so on and so forth.

What was the question again? Of right, overdone plot. Answer: In all probability yes, if by overdone you mean cliche'd. How do you avoid cliche? By introducing elements into the story that make it, if not unique, then at least different to the norm. Interesting character quirks, less predictable key moments in the story, more complex relationships. These are all things that I may find more interesting to read.