Thread: Glaring Mistakes that Script Writers Make

This is going to be a long rant. It applies to script writers, but I've seen book authors make glaring mistakes (the editors missed). I love Clive Cussler, but several times he's used the term "Judo Chop". Take it from a first degree brown belt, there never has been, or ever will be a judo chop. Judo is wrestling (perfected). Karate is chops, kicks, and throws. With that said, let's get started-by genre:

Police Work:

1) Cops do not take drugs and alcohol from people to use themselves later. Can you imagine the scandal if it were true ?

2) Cops do not drink on duty and never go into a bar to drink on duty-in uniform. I almost walked out of Superbad when I saw that.

3) Vehicles that hit other vehicles do not-suddenly fly up on two wheels as if propelled by a hidden ramp-nor do they explode when they crash. Cars don't even explode when a bullet is fired into the gas tank, they just leak gas.

4) Detectives don't just walk into a crime scene, linger over a body, and speculate. This is called contaminating a crime scene. This is a defense attorney's wet dream. Two patrol cops might wander in to see if the body is alive. If not, they back out and seal off the area. Crime scene investigators arrive-donning special overalls, they take care not to contiminate a scene with their hair or bodily fluids.

Medical

1) Doctors and nurses don't have overactive libidos that require them to have sex on duty.

2) Doctors and nurses don't date, as a rule (there are rare exceptions, but it's really rare).

3) Doctors don't know more about sex than everyone else, speaking of which,

Sex Workers

Hollywood has put out a bunch of recent movies where strippers don't strip (i.e. Natalie Portman in Closer). Strippers that don't take their clothes off make no money. Tip outs for strippers that start at 11 a.m. is 35.00 and it just goes from there. A stripper who starts work at 10 p.m. is looking at 150-200 dollars in the hole for tip out and other expenses. With that said:

1) False-ALL strippers were abused as children. Nothing could be further from the truth. Strippers charge money for sex acts. Sex addicts give it up for free.

2) Strippers live for their work-again false. They live for the money, but for various reasons. Some are college students, some are single mothers, and others are shopaholics who strip to finance their neverending lives of beauty treatments, clothes shopping, and day spa trips.

3) Porn stars are sex addicts who were abused as children-FALSE. Although that was Traci Lords story, for 99% of porn actresses, they got in the work for various reasons. Most are better emotionally adjusted than the public at large, but there is a ten to twenty percentile of porn actresses who are seriously messed up (it fluctuates year to year due to the high turnover rate).

4) Strippers and porn actresses are dumb-FALSE. Some porn people will amaze you with how brilliant they are. Some work long enough so that their investments cash in. Imagine retiring to a life of luxury at the age of 28. It's happened for several porn actresses. If that's stupid-sign me up. As for strippers, a lot of them will talk men out of large sums of money every single day. The stories are legion. Some involve two thousand bucks for an hour's work. Sometimes, hundreds of dollars for just talking to a guy for an hour or two. Books have been written on this.

Security

1) False-ALL Security Guards are fat lazy uneducated lumps who do nothing but eat and sleep on duty. Let me start with the eating thing-Security is a seriously understaffed business. Security personnel eat on duty because there is no one to relieve them so they can go somewhere and eat. They might get one or two bathroom breaks a shift. As for sleeping-does any employer allow it ? Any Security personnel caught sleeping will be fired immediately.

2) Security guards can be bribed with a candy bar-FALSE. Most entry level security personnel make 8 to 11 bucks an hour. That's not even a living wage. Furthermore, no Security Guard will endanger their Security License for something as trivial as a candy bar. Security personnel frequently take extra shifts to pay bills.

Acting

1) All actors are tall good looking people-FALSE. Owen Wilson, crooked nose and all is five foot even. Ever notice him standing next to other actors ? Most of Hollywood is under 5'6".

2) Actors are happy well adjusted people. Let me spill the beans on a couple of hidden facts. First, actors get to deduct, from taxes, what they pay to mental health professionals. Actors are frequently at the therapist's office. Ever notice how a lot of sitcoms feature therapy moments ? Now you know why. Second, although money makes things better, it also isolates people. If there was a problem before the money started coming in-it just got worse. Lindsay Lohan doesn't think she has a problem. She thinks it's normal to go through a day drugged up on something or other.

So, that's my rant. Contribute if you want.

Police Work:

1) Cops do not take drugs and alcohol from people to use themselves later. Can you imagine the scandal if it were true ?

I know a few cops that do this, and I know a fair few friends that have ended up losing their stash because the cops wanted it for themselves. Even if a cop doesn't use it, they know people to sell it to. Sure, most cops do the right thing, but not all of them.

2) Cops do not drink on duty and never go into a bar to drink on duty-in uniform. I almost walked out of Superbad when I saw that.

This depends on where you live. Cops don't drink while in their uniform here. But in some places, especially with towns that are run by a local sheriff, it wouldn't be uncommon for a cop to stop by for a drink at the local watering hole.


3) Vehicles that hit other vehicles do not-suddenly fly up on two wheels as if propelled by a hidden ramp-nor do they explode when they crash. Cars don't even explode when a bullet is fired into the gas tank, they just leak gas.

Can't argue with how dramatic hollywood makes car crashes. But I have seen some fantastic crashes where cars have been flung up into the air before crashing and bursting into shrapnel (and yes, some even explode).


Medical

1) Doctors and nurses don't have overactive libidos that require them to have sex on duty.

But just like everyday people, some do have overactive libidos. We just happen to get to watch the high libido ones on TV and in movies more often..

2) Doctors and nurses don't date, as a rule (there are rare exceptions, but it's really rare).

3) Doctors don't know more about sex than everyone else, speaking of which,

Wait.. I thought doctors did generally know more about sex than other people. Isn't this part of their training?

Sex Workers

Hollywood has put out a bunch of recent movies where strippers don't strip (i.e. Natalie Portman in Closer). Strippers that don't take their clothes off make no money. Tip outs for strippers that start at 11 a.m. is 35.00 and it just goes from there. A stripper who starts work at 10 p.m. is looking at 150-200 dollars in the hole for tip out and other expenses. With that said:

This depends on where you go. You'll find that a lot of strip joints have different shows, and some of those are tailored to girls that are 'in training' or that aren't quite ready to show everything just yet. You don't hire a girl off the street with no experience and expect her to show complete strangers (and sometimes people who aren't strangers) everything they've got. Also, America works on tips.. but many/most other places actually pay a girl for the job, not relying on the customers to pay for a companies workers. In Australia, the girl on stage doesn't get tips directly, but the lady serving drinks may do (but not for flashing her tits). In some strip joints, they throw you out if you touch the girl, even if it's to pass her some cash.

1) False-ALL strippers were abused as children. Nothing could be further from the truth. Strippers charge money for sex acts. Sex addicts give it up for free.

2) Strippers live for their work-again false. They live for the money, but for various reasons. Some are college students, some are single mothers, and others are shopaholics who strip to finance their neverending lives of beauty treatments, clothes shopping, and day spa trips.

We may be generalising here, but I'm sure people become strippers for many more reason's than just sex or money (including the things that money buys).

3) Porn stars are sex addicts who were abused as children-FALSE. Although that was Traci Lords story, for 99% of porn actresses, they got in the work for various reasons. Most are better emotionally adjusted than the public at large, but there is a ten to twenty percentile of porn actresses who are seriously messed up (it fluctuates year to year due to the high turnover rate).

I think you've stated things wrong somehow.. ten to twenty percent in the workforce being 'seriously messed up' is really high. I don't see this as being 'better emotionally adjusted than the public at large'.

4) Strippers and porn actresses are dumb-FALSE. Some porn people will amaze you with how brilliant they are. Some work long enough so that their investments cash in. Imagine retiring to a life of luxury at the age of 28. It's happened for several porn actresses. If that's stupid-sign me up. As for strippers, a lot of them will talk men out of large sums of money every single day. The stories are legion. Some involve two thousand bucks for an hour's work. Sometimes, hundreds of dollars for just talking to a guy for an hour or two. Books have been written on this.

I'd argue that if you took a range of actresses and got a measure of their IQ, the average would be lower than that of other people. In a very general sense; these actresses choose the job because they are less likely to succeed in other areas. By your logic, they're smart enough to choose a career that works for them, but that doesn't mean they are smarter than other people.

Security

1) False-ALL Security Guards are fat lazy uneducated lumps who do nothing but eat and sleep on duty. Let me start with the eating thing-Security is a seriously understaffed business. Security personnel eat on duty because there is no one to relieve them so they can go somewhere and eat. They might get one or two bathroom breaks a shift. As for sleeping-does any employer allow it ? Any Security personnel caught sleeping will be fired immediately.

Not 'All' security guards are fat and lazy, but by the same token that truck drivers have a reputation for being less intelligent, and that concept having some merit, security guards have the reputation of being fat and lazy. It's not a bad thing to portray this within movies, especially when it achieves an objecting within the story.

2) Security guards can be bribed with a candy bar-FALSE. Most entry level security personnel make 8 to 11 bucks an hour. That's not even a living wage. Furthermore, no Security Guard will endanger their Security License for something as trivial as a candy bar. Security personnel frequently take extra shifts to pay bills.

I don't want to know where this fallacy came from.. I don't know of any movie where a security guard has been bribed with candy, let alone the thought that this concept could be all encompassing.

Acting

1) All actors are tall good looking people-FALSE. Owen Wilson, crooked nose and all is five foot even. Ever notice him standing next to other actors ? Most of Hollywood is under 5'6".

2) Actors are happy well adjusted people. Let me spill the beans on a couple of hidden facts. First, actors get to deduct, from taxes, what they pay to mental health professionals. Actors are frequently at the therapist's office. Ever notice how a lot of sitcoms feature therapy moments ? Now you know why. Second, although money makes things better, it also isolates people. If there was a problem before the money started coming in-it just got worse. Lindsay Lohan doesn't think she has a problem. She thinks it's normal to go through a day drugged up on something or other.

I think most people here would agree that the majority of actors aren't well adjusted people. Their ability to save a few thousand a year by visiting a psych isn't likely going to influence their choice to actually see a psych. There are a wide range of alternative methods of lessening tax that don't require someone to spend hours each week talking about sensitive topics.

So, that's my rant. Contribute if you want.

This is my contribution, rant if you want

Kris,

You hang out with corrupt cops who take people's dope stash and use it themselves ? Do you have a lawyer on retainer ? If not, you should look into it. Your cop friends will get caught and you don't want to be anywhere near when that goes down.

As for the porn star thing, there is a small percentage who get seriously messed up on drugs. One that sticks with me was an actress called Anastasia Blue. She was quite the energetic performer who suddenly quit porn. Several years later, a fan tracked her down. She replied to him via a porn blog that she remembered her porn time as a messed up time where she took a whole bunch of drugs. A week later, she killed herself. As she was estranged from her family, her work friends (she was an office manager) paid for her funeral & burial.

Kris is right about the drugs, I know of more than one case where the defendant was surprised to learn in court they were charged with possession of less drugs than they actually had on them when arrested, and it was always the best bit that went missing. Prohibition of soft drugs is just as likely to produce bent cops as prohibition of alcohol, I think it is less likely in the case of hard drugs, where it is likely to be a profit thing rather than nicking a bit for personal use and the effects of use are more visible.
When people are writing a story I am less concerned that the story is a bit fantastic than that the actual English is so often bad, I don't really expect fiction to always be accurate, bigger than life is the name of the game in a way.

Originally Posted by Dudester

You hang out with corrupt cops who take people's dope stash and use it themselves ? Do you have a lawyer on retainer ? If not, you should look into it. Your cop friends will get caught and you don't want to be anywhere near when that goes down.

It doesn't go down.. cops look after each other. Remember that these guys (at times) risk their lives for each other. They have a bond that is very strong, even between people that don't know each other. A cop that puts another cop in jail isn't smiled upon in the force; imagine what that cop will go through in jail (where the criminals will know what he was). You do that to one of your co-workers, and the others will see you as a traitor. I mean, what's a bit of coin on the side compared to the good they do otherwise..? (not my view, but how they see it)

There's a lot of corruption within the system, and the organised gangs I know about do pay off cops successfully. We may not like it, but it's there and it's happening. People are too focused on money to do the right thing, regardless of where they stand.

Medical

1) You do not use a defibrillator to restart a heart. It is used when a patient is in V-fib or V-tach and you need to shock him/her back into sinus rhythm. I believe the proper way to attempt to restart a heart is to administer chest compressions and epinephrine.

Police

1) Police procedural TV shows often have bad guys getting shot in the arm or leg and continuing to run with a slight limp or a crook in their arm. Sorry, doesn't really fly for two reasons. First, the femoral artery runs through the leg. It's quite prominent and any shot there risks severing it. And if you sever that artery, lights out. In the arm, you have the brachial artery. It pumps blood faster than any vein or artery in the human body. Again, lights out if you take a shot there.

2) I don't know how many shows I've seen where there is a high-profile witness getting ready to testify. We then learn they're in WITSEC under FBI protection. Huh? Protection of witnesses falls under the jurisdiction of the U.S. Marshals. Not the FBI.

That's all I can think of . . . for now.

Just some other points i found



It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

Maybe most of the good 'hollywood moments' have been taken, but I may have some others to add.

Anyone with an important role will invariably be able to shrug off otherwise life threatening injuries. Anyone else will die from slight knocks, grazes, and proximity to flying objects. Heroes are able to shoot themselves in the chest, to have that bullet pass through them and kill a bad guy, yet the hero will always survive.

Computer hackers are always presented with a nice scenic portrayal of the computer environment. When they type, they don't need anything on screen to guide them.

At night where there's a danger of being attacked, attractive females will generally decide it's time to have a shower or a bath. Unattractive ones don't have showers or baths.

Everyone's boss is an a$$ (this one may actually be true...)

It's always possible to guess a password to a computer system no matter how advanced the technology. It can be done within 30 seconds of trying, and there's always a hint somewhere on the table to help thieves (and heroes).

During target practise, most people can hit the bulls-eye from 200 meters away despite running, jumping, rolling, and even hurling themselves through obstacles. Stick those same people in a gun fight, and no one can hit anyone despite being less than 20 meters away and relatively stationary. Any gun fight always uses up several clips of ammo that you were previously unaware that the participants had.

No matter how rich or poor a person is, they always have enough to buy what they need.

Weapons

1) Joey C (just made that up) likes to brag that he owns a Glock 17 and is an awesome shot. He gets himself caught up in the middle of a firefight and loads a new clip into his baby. Chaos ensues and bad guys start coming from everywhere. Our crack shot fires off a dozen rounds, hitting nothing (so much for him being awesome), and moves to cover in another area. He does not insert a new clip into the gun. He fires off five more rounds, at which point the gun is now empty and needs a new clip. The Glock 17 is so-called because each clip holds 17 rounds. Joey C proceeds to fire another dozen bullets before ejecting the clip and inserting a new one.

2) Rambo is sitting in a helicopter being chased by another helicopter. There are men sitting behind him, one of which tosses him a bazooka. Rambo proceeds to shoulder it and fire a shot at the helicopter, blowing it apart. The guys behind start whooping and cheering, but in real life they would be trying to figure out how to graft the skin back onto their faces. A bazooka expels flames out of its rear when fired. Flames which would have melted those guys' faces.

In Sci-Fi when people travel through black holes, whether to a different area of space or back in time. The science behind black holes being some kind of portal was always shaky at best. All contemporary evidence points to them being simply an abyss of infinite gravity from which nothing ever, ever returns.

And even if they were some kind of portal, the trauma of matter passing through the event horizon, or theoretical surface of the black hole where gravity reaches infinite, would be so severe, the matter would never reappear in any recognizable form. At this point matter is said to undergo spaghettification, which is one of the few words that pretty much explains itself.

Totally off-topic, Caelum my husband can't stop laughing over your Carleton 'Thug Life' avatar.

And you guys are really ruining the fun for me!

Carlton is the man.

Another complaint is how everyone in the movies is a precocious super-genius. It really must make audiences feel like they're of below average intelligence. For instance, recently saw The Sorcerer's Apprentice, and yup, the main guy was some kind of physics whiz who sets up tesla coils to play music. This applies especially to TV medical dramas where we've got these young, beautiful doctors, or Crime Scene investigators, who really should have a few more years under their belts before they can do what they do.

Originally Posted by caelum

Carlton is the man.

Another complaint is how everyone in the movies is a precocious super-genius. It really must make audiences feel like they're of below average intelligence. For instance, recently saw The Sorcerer's Apprentice, and yup, the main guy was some kind of physics whiz who sets up tesla coils to play music. This applies especially to TV medical dramas where we've got these young, beautiful doctors, or Crime Scene investigators, who really should have a few more years under their belts before they can do what they do.

I have an ex-fiance (from College) who is a CSI in Houston. She was a P.E. Major in College and she graduated with a D average. YIKES !!

(No, she rarely partied, she just under performed).

Originally Posted by Dudester

I have an ex-fiance (from College) who is a CSI in Houston. She was a P.E. Major in College and she graduated with a D average. YIKES !!

(No, she rarely partied, she just under performed).

I'm thinking you mean the reason why she got bad grades, and not why you broke up with her

And it really is amazing just how stupid some 'intelligent' people can be. When I was in Uni (College if I was in America), we had students try to boil milk in kettles, and make cheese on toast with an upright toaster. Granted, we all have our moments, but there are some immutable common sense laws that people should inherently know about by the time they get accepted into higher education. These are the people that other people accept as being smart.

It either makes me worry for our future, or it makes me feel incredibly smart.

Artificial gravity
Anti gravity
Any one else enjoy Arni's Commando ?
And how does something keep moving when you stop pushing ? ( yes I know what it's called,
I just don't understand how ).
The entertainment industry has a tenuous grip on reality as it is ( CSI ). It gets really bad when it creeps into books ( Dan Brown ).