Thread: POV and relaying emotions

Hi all,

I'm currently working on a story that is told from a father's perspective. However, the story as it progresses is truly about his children; more specifically, about his son and his first love.

What I am afraid of is that by writing the story in this way, I will be loosing some of the emotional connection of my main characters because I'm describing what is happening through another person. Emotions are going through a filter (the father) and I'm afraid that people wont like it.

The more I write, the more I can incorporate emotion, but it's difficult in the first parts of the book when I'm just setting the story up...and I'm afraid that people will give up on it too soon before I can fully explore the emotions if that makes sense.

This is the first time that I am writing a story that is a mix between second person and first person.

So...if I am a narrator...and also a character in the book, how can I capture another characters emotions if I'm telling you their story fully. I know a part of it is just time and allowing your readers to become attached to the characters...but hopefully, you have tips?

Well, you're right. When someone tells a story, or what happened to, say, Gina last week, the story goes through a filter: What they perceive to have happened. So you're basically wanting to be able to tell the reader how the children feel through the father? If so, then what I would suggest is having the father notice that the son is having problems, or not talking as much, and then talking to them about it, or something similar. If you're trying to avoid that, and can find no way to do it how you like, maybe it would be a good idea to ease into a short POV change. Best of luck,
-TheMeat

I'd suggest that your solution may lie in body language.

Have people look down when they say something, or quickly glance at someone then away. Have them pause between sentences, as if they're struggling with the topic or trying to decide whether they want to say something (or how to say it). Describe them hunched over a hot drink, legs tightly together, despite it being a warm day. Make their eye brows lift or their arm drop limply to their side as they discuss things. Throw in a few misunderstandings, where one person will say something, but the other gets the wrong message (because they want to hear it a certain way). Throw gestures into the mix, so they can fling their arm at someone who they dislike as they say their name.

The list is quite extensive. Watch a movie and see how actors behave. Describe their facial expressions, postures, movements, gestures, etc. Don't over do it.. but the idea here is to show rather than tell.

It may help if you post a few example sentences and ask us to rephrase them to describe an emotion. You'll get a heap of different takes on how to do it, and you'll learn a lot about how it can be done.