Thread: A question about exposition and narration.

I have a complex storyline where my two main characters have agreed, via dialogue, to a certain future activity* between the two of them.

(*see below)

The next chapter could, at a pinch, jump headlong into that activity.

However, the earlier agreement was in principle only. I really need to have the nuts and bolts, the details, also spelled out, before the activity starts.

I could do this via a "wooden" dialogue between the two characters, or I could spell it out exposition-style.

But neither of these techniques strikes me as page-turning stuff.

So, are there any other ways I might work around it?



* The story is too complex to outline here. I'd possibly lose you within two or three paragraphs.

So here's an alternative: an outline of a similar type of situation (NOT the real story), very much abbreviated:

Ch 1. Two characters meet, and agree to rob a bank.

Ch 3. The robbery

Ch 2. If this was the story I'm writing, which it isn't, should I have the two characters plan out the robbery via dialogue between them - "Bill said, 'I’ll keep the engine of the getaway car running while you run in waving a gun'" - or should I use exposition, and write “Bill & Ted decided that Bill would stay in the getaway car and keep the engine running while Ted ran in to the bank waving a gun” type of thing?

Or, as I asked earlier, is there some other way of attacking the problem?

Personally, I would rather read the wooden dialogue than the exposition. If the robbery is supposed to go wrong, then the planning can come out in dialogue as Bill & Ted desperately try to make their way back to the phone booth, as they berate each other for failing in their planned roles.

If it is supposed to go right, then just jump straight in and do the robbery, but unless it is a really interesting, unique robbery or something doesn't go according to plan, I don't think it would be much of a page turner. If there are events that need to happen during the planning that will be later relied on in the story, then tell it. Otherwise, I'd just skip the planning entirely.

Why does it have to be one or the other? Why not a blend, exposition but with enough direct quotes to keep the interest alive?

Ted decided that Bill would stay in the getaway car. 'You're the better driver,' he said. Ted reminded Bill to have the engine running and keep a sharp lookout. 'I'll run in waving my gun,' he said. Bill slid into the driver's seat and watched as Ted ran to the door of the bank.

Their plans began to unravel as Ted collided with a little old lady coming out of the bank with a toy poodle on a leash and a large handbag slung over her shoulder. The dog began to yap, as is their nature. Ted said 'Get out of the way lady' as he kicked at the dog. She responded by swinging the bag at Ted's head. She missed and hit his arm instead. The gun fell to the pavement. The dog sank his teeth into Ted's hand as Ted reached down for the gun. The old lady screamed. Ted cursed. The teller inside the bank saw what had happened and pulled the alarm causing a loud bell to start ringing directly over Ted's head.

Bill leaned across the seat of the car and shouted, 'This isn't going well. I think we should go'.

garza - You can stay another week. Why couldn't I see that? It's just what the medico prescribed.

Now all I have to do is write it.

Glad I could help.

garza - Correction: it won’t work for my story. I’ve come unglued using that word “plan”. See, it’s not planning, per se, it’s more like the fine print in a contract. The pair contract to do *something*, then need to also agree on all the nitty-gritty before putting the agreement into effect.

Sorry.

You're a goof, Michael. Garza nailed it. You shouldn't do all dialogue and you shouldn't do all info dump. A blend is good. His example was good.

Make it work.

Just remember who you're calling a goof, young Kath. You might need me one day soon.

Okay. Maybe I can make it work.

I think it has to be part exposition, part dialogue, too. I used to write long dialogue (because I like dialogue) but when I read it somewhere else, my eyes glaze over. It gets too "talky." Like mixing up sentence structure, an author also has to mix up dialogue and exposition.

And make it entertaining.

Bottom line, an author's job is to entertain the reader.

What! You mean I've gotta do that too, on top of everything else?

Originally Posted by The Backward OX

Just remember who you're calling a goof, young Kath. You might need me one day soon.

Tough love, sugar. Haha. Only telling you things I tell myself.

Originally Posted by Like a Fox

Tough love, sugar. Haha. Only telling you things I tell myself.

Are you sure you have time to fritter away here? Have you done all your homework?

Well, if you don't need my example I think I may use it myself. Watch for 'The Big Bank Robbery' or something of the sort in Fiction.

Would using that bit as part of a story violate the rule against cross-pollination of the threads?

Sometimes with you it's hard to tell where the joshing ends and the sincerity takes over.