Thread: Lack of depth to short story

I just finished the rough draft of the project I've been working on for the last week. It could use a lot of work. Normally I don't need to change much to my first drafts but this one I think lacks a lot of depth, and I think that's because I was focusing on getting the conflict down. Nothing was really resolved, and I can't seem to grasp how the main character feels at the end.

The story also feels very incomplete where I left it, and then throughout there's just so much missing, and I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I'm serving a big old steak, and I've left out the rest of the meal, like the appetizers, the salad, the baked potato (or whatever it is you like to eat with your steak), everything that surrounds the main meat that completes the meal.

This probably means I need to expand the story, though I was trying to go for a medium length, I know that's probably not going to happen for this one. What are your suggestions?

Dreamworx, have you posted the story anywhere yet? I'll look at it if you did. As far as story length goes, I cannot seem to finish my short stories in under 10,000 words, which is edging out of short story territory. It is as if I have a lot to tell but not enough to fill up a book, plus I do not have the stamina to do a novel yet, so I end up hacking the stories to bits to get them to 7000 words or less. It's very difficult for me; I feel like a lot of needed elements have to be sacrificed. I would suggest just writing until the story is complete to your satisfaction. Then go back and pare it down (but save a copy of the original). Don't try to develop too many characters. That's about all I can offer to you as suggestions. I wish there was a market for stories 10,000-20,000 words long. Good luck, and let me know if/when you post the story.

Fox80 - I try not to post something unless I find myself feeling at least satisfied with it. I've finished the story and I've let it sit for about a week now, but I can't seem to get it right, so I might have to post it to get feedback for precisely that reason. Thank you for your offer. I'll let you know if I decide to put it up.

Well if you have to add stuff to make it a satisfying story, I'd add the stuff and worry about the length later. I find it a lot easier to thin down than to add.

Also, you mention you're having trouble with the ending because you're "can't seem to grasp how the main character feels at the end". I have that problem with like, almost every story I write. I have to iterate a lot before finding the ending that feels right to me. It seems like I have to solve this problem in a different way every time. Sometimes I just have to think about the ending for a while. Sometimes I know exactly how I want it to end before I even start. Other times I finish the story (badly) and then later realize that the perfect ending was actually something I'd written in the middle of the story, and I end up rearranging everything. So, not really any advice here, just commiseration.

I did add some stuff. Just a few lines to something that was really important to the story but not really emphasized until the very end. It's hard though I think because of the perspective I chose, and it's the only perspective I really have a feel for because, well it's my perspective, since this is something that happened from experience. But there's a lot going on outside the character's view that I can't really get a grasp of because I don't know how to portray the other character's other than how the MC sees them.

I was in a similar predicament recently DW. Just post it, warn your readers you're not entirely happy with it, and see what comes out.
You may find that bits are better than you thought.

It was really helpful for me doing that with my last story, the holes that I knew were there took on some clarity thanks to the eyes of others.
It's a safe environment here to do that kinda thing.

Sometimes I'll show a story to a friend in that situation and ask "What's missing?" - There's no shame in wanting a second opinion if you're not totally sold on what you've got.

Yeah, thanks fox. Since I'm not doing any good just letting it sit and going back to it, that's probably what I'll do.

It is difficult without a specific reference but these are things I find help in situations where there is conflict and I want to know how some one feels. Although characters are more complex they fall into main types when they are involved in emotional situations. Blamers; "You did it, it is your fault" imagine them arms akimbo, or pointing, they are loud and shout people down. placaters; "I am sooo sorry, I did not mean to, if only I had" Imagine them on their knees, hands together like a Christian praying. Machine like "Whilst it may be observed that there are different types it is not always useful to assign different individuals to ...." Imagine them sitting, arms folded, looking smug, with a continuous flow of words, often long and obscure ones, pouring from them.
These are the most common there are a couple of lesser ones. The truth teller; who does not get into an emotional "state" but looks at the situation and tells it like it is and the diverter who would come out with something like "Four states, isnt it amazing how often four comes up, four seasons, four books of the bible; I was reading the Bible the other day ..." they dont even notice there were five, they usually talk rubbish, anything to avoid dealing with the world. look round and you will see these exist in the real world as well.
The point is that a blamer and a placater, for example, can have one sort of relationship, whereas another combination will have a very different one, of course a blamer with one person can be a placater with another. Figure out what the relationship is between your characters and you will have a fair idea of how they feel about each other and themselves, emphasising these elements might fill in some of your gaps.

On the other hand it might be that you are missing a descriptive element or something, like I said it is hard to tell without a reference.

Sometimes you can let the reader fill in the blanks, Dreamworx. You don't have to spell everything out.

It's not a matter of spelling things out, seigfried, it's about leaving out too much of the background, the things that shape the main character especially. I think once I can get all that down, I'll be good. So posting is going to be on hold for a little while longer.

Thank you very much for all the suggestions guys.

Originally Posted by Dreamworx95

I just finished the rough draft of the project I've been working on for the last week. It could use a lot of work. Normally I don't need to change much to my first drafts but this one I think lacks a lot of depth, and I think that's because I was focusing on getting the conflict down. Nothing was really resolved, and I can't seem to grasp how the main character feels at the end.

The story also feels very incomplete where I left it, and then throughout there's just so much missing, and I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I'm serving a big old steak, and I've left out the rest of the meal, like the appetizers, the salad, the baked potato (or whatever it is you like to eat with your steak), everything that surrounds the main meat that completes the meal.

This probably means I need to expand the story, though I was trying to go for a medium length, I know that's probably not going to happen for this one. What are your suggestions?

I don't think you're going to like my suggestion but here goes. When I have this many issues with anything I've written, that feeling that it just isn't coming together, the answer may not be in how much 'stuff' is in the story but from what point you're starting. If the storyline was laid out along a chronological timeline, the point where you started your story is like a dart thrown somewhere along that line. Sometimes you need to throw a different dart and start the same story from an entirely different place for it to come alive.

Sometimes you have to ask yourself if you're telling the story through the right person's eyes, I've shifted the perspective to a different character before, entirely changing the feel of the story.

Are you covering the same ground at the beginning that you cover later? I do this often enough that the first thing I do almost every time in editing is to get rid of the first few paragraphs to find my true beginning.

But the one thing that I do when a piece is really causing problems...start again. Yep, nobody wants to do that but occasionally sweeping everything off of your mental desk, letting it all crash to the floor, starting with a fresh page and just going for it all over again with a story that you've already begun to tell before can result in a much stronger more vibrant work. (At least for me.) I guess if I were using paper and pen I'd be the person with the wastebasket overflowing with crumpled pages.

Best of luck with fixing this, I hope you find the answer.

DW, often a writer will see no depth in their own work because they literally know it backwards and forwards and inside out. There are no shadows or shades of gray, no surprises or twists, because the authorial view is all-seeing. I've actually posted little flash pieces that I considered nothing more than jokes or gimmicks, only to have people theorize all sorts of meaning and deeper concerns that, after the fact, I had to admit were plausible. Writers often do not like to admit that they are only half the operator of the story-machines they construct. And lack of background is NOT necessarily a flaw. Nothing excites some readers so much as a little essential ambiguity.