Thread: Using Titles

I have someone reading my historical novel and he commented on the repeated use of titles for some of my characters as being disturbing.

Here's the situation - the characters are members of a religious order and are called Brother by each other and their followers. He suggested that instead of saying "Brother Pedro" is should simply say "Pedro".
I find the latter difficult to do and wonder what you think.
Brother Pedro?
or Pedro?

Well I guess that depends on how formal the characters are with each other. If they're pretty close to each other, I think "Pedro" would do.

I assume you mean in the narrative? Brother Pedro.

I would stick with Brother Pedro throughout.

I can understand, if four Brothers are having a conversation, 'Brother', could be distracting and I would take your reader's comment as an indication of this and try and reduce its frequency.

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I have a character called Monsieur Pascual and, except in dialogue where he is given the full 'Monsieur', I refer to him in narrative as M.Pascual.

If he were English I would refer to him as Mr. Pascual in both dialogue and narrative. My reason being, Mr is read off the page as Mister just as £ is read as pound, whereas 'M' does not enjoy the same instant interpretation.

Which brings up another angle.
If M. Pascual were a priest he would be referred to as Mnsr.Pascual, or a monk Fr.Pascual. Pedro, sounds as though he may be Spanish...

I'm rambling aren't I? I'd better stop.

Originally Posted by qwertyman

I would stick with Brother Pedro throughout.

If M. Pascual were a priest he would be referred to as Mnsr.Pascual, or a monk Fr.Pascual. Pedro, sounds as though he may be Spanish...

Yes, he's a Franciscan friar serving in Mexico. In Spanish, we would be referred to as "Fray" or "Fraile" but I didn't want to burden the reader with that.
As for addressing each other, I think they would use the "Brother" as a form of mutual respect. It takes a lot of study to reach that level and I would assume, as they have doctorates of theology, it would be similar to PhDs addressing each other as "Professor" or "Doctor."