Thread: You’ve got the pussy, I’ve got the pen, or, let’s revamp the barter system.

Disclaimer:

Adult Theme

I can’t be the only guy on the planet who wants some pussy.

I also can’t be the only guy on the planet who can occasionally string a few words together in an entertaining way.

The law of averages tells us there are many pussy-owners who enjoy reading.

And it occurs to me there’s a dormant segment of the economy out there, waiting to be brought to life and exploited - the one where sex is exchanged for literary output.

All that needs to be done is figure out how to market this to the masses.

Suggestions invited.

ROFL - clearly the product of a diseased(preferably something sexually transmitted) mind.

Originally Posted by NathanBrazil

ROFL - clearly the product of a diseased(preferably something sexually transmitted) mind.

I vehemently disagree.

It is the product of an extremely fertile mind.

I think it may have been Émile Coué de Châtaigneraie who once said, “If it can be imagined, it can be done.”

So…

Originally Posted by The Backward OX

Disclaimer:

Adult Theme

I can’t be the only guy on the planet who wants some pussy.

I also can’t be the only guy on the planet who can occasionally string a few words together in an entertaining way.

The law of averages tells us there are many pussy-owners who enjoy reading.

And it occurs to me there’s a dormant segment of the economy out there, waiting to be brought to life and exploited - the one where sex is exchanged for literary output.

All that needs to be done is figure out how to market this to the masses.

Suggestions invited.

does that make you a pimp?

Originally Posted by ash somers

does that make you a pimp?

Like the old OX could ever be considered pimpin'.

Originally Posted by ash somers

does that make you a pimp?

No, it makes me a devious and cunning bastard, waiting for someone else to suggest how I might capitalise on it by exchanging my words for pussy.

However, I fear I may be in for a l-o-n-g wait. Creative thinking is possibly at a premium around here.

Maybe a forum devoted to sales techniques would be better able to handle such a query.

*scurries off to google such forums*

I'm a little concerned about your use of the word 'fertile' in this context. It makes me wonder about the product of your mental exertions.

Originally Posted by The Backward OX

No, it makes me a devious and cunning bastard, waiting for someone else to suggest how I might capitalise on it by exchanging my words for pussy.

...

besides having too much time on your hands to even think up such a hair-brained idea, you've got buckleys and none, co's your werds aint flash enough to attract pussy in exchange; give it up old man and go back to wanking

Originally Posted by ash somers
such a hair-brained idea

hair-brained = hare-brained

This makes me sad for humanity.

Market it as "Will write for sex."

Suggestions:
1) Photoshop Sean Connery's head onto your body (or vice versa, whichever is best), copy, then take out ad on internet.
2) Write something for the woman who answers it and arrange a meeting.
3) Place and secure with duct tape a large paper bag over your head, taking care to cut out a small slits for sight and to allow air.
4) Using a magic marker, write "Sean Connery" on the top of bag to avoid silly questions such as "Are you really Sean Connery?"
5) Learn to mimic Sean Connery's voice in case the marker fails. ("The name's Connery. Sean Connery.")

Hope that helps.

Gotta find a buyer for this Ox.

I know guys toss words in the form of poems, letters and other crap to get pussy, I am stumped as far as women offering pussy to get letters.

ROFL - Hawke

Hawke has restored my faith in creativity.

GO, Hawke!!