Are these suitable? - Writers Forum

CroZ · 01-17-2006, 04:14 PM

I found this query letter example on the internet and I would like to know if it is any good. It'll probably come out a little different because i'm copying and pasting it from ms word.
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Date
Editor's Name
Assistant Editor
Silhouette Books
300 E. 42nd Street
6th Floor
New York, NY 10017
Dear Ms. Name, Never just use Dear Editor

To start off, give the name and length and type of manuscript you are sending.
A COWBOY'S WILL is a completed 57,000 word contemporary romance set in Louisiana. This story is targeted for the Silhouette Desire line.
Next add the meat of your query... Remember that teaser on the back of the book. You don't have much more
room than that. A good query should be no more than one page long.
Grady Reid was a good man, and somewhat of a match maker. He was also the closest thing to family Cody
Lawrence had. When Grady died, he left half of his cattle ranch to Cody. Grady left the other half to his only
grandchild, Blair Taylor from New York. They would each get their half, but only if they spent a month together on
the ranch. Problem was, a month could seem like a lifetime when two people were so different, and disliked each
other as much as Blair and Cody did.
This is where you brag. Add anything that shows you are a serious writer who has studied her craft.
I have been writing for almost ten years. Romance is my first love, though for now it is freelance writing that helps to
pay the bills. Over the years Iâ€(tm)ve completed a few other romance novels, some historical. I've been a member
of Romance Writers of America, Southern Louisiana Romance Writers, a number of on-line writer's groups, and of
a wonderful critique group where I was fortunate to work with a published author. I'm proud to add that this
manuscript was a finalist this year in the Molly writing contest.
Don't forget the SASE, and don't forget the thank you!
If you are interested, I will gladly send you either the first three chapters of this story, or the complete manuscript. I
have enclosed a synopsis and a SASE for your reply. If you prefer, you can send an e-mail. Thanks very much for
your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Your name

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Also I made a synopsis, i'm not going to post the actual thing up here but I was wondering if this layout is acceptable. Just take into account that this isnt a beginning/middle/end sort of book. And i'm trying to keep it within 1-2 pages.
In this order-

1. Write a teaser like on the back of a book.
2. Introduce the characters/background etc.
3. Dedicate a number of paragraphs to saying what the characters go through in the story, where they go and why they're doing everything.
4. Create a seperate paragraph showing the reader the main events that took place during their travels, acheivments/changes etc.
5. Last paragraph deals with the conlusion.

Although I think I either swapped or might swap point 5 and 4 around.

mammamaia · 01-17-2006, 05:16 PM

i've seen better, but the sample query is ok... it's hard to tell what's what, in the 'paste' however... here's a better way to show it:

Quote:

Date
Name, Assistant [or whatever]Editor
Silhouette Books
300 E. 42nd Street
6th Floor
New York, NY 10017

Dear Ms. Name, [never just use Dear Editor]

To start off, give the name and length and type of manuscript you are sending.
A COWBOY'S WILL is a completed 57,000 word contemporary romance set in Louisiana. This story is targeted for the Silhouette Desire line.

Next add the meat of your query... Remember that teaser on the back of the book. You don't have much more room than that. A good query should be no more than one page long.

Grady Reid was a good man, and somewhat of a match maker. He was also the closest thing to family Cody Lawrence had. When Grady died, he left half of his cattle ranch to Cody. Grady left the other half to his only grandchild, Blair Taylor from New York. They would each get their half, but only if they spent a month together on the ranch. Problem was, a month could seem like a lifetime when two people were so different, and disliked each
other as much as Blair and Cody did.

This is where you brag. Add anything that shows you are a serious writer who has studied her craft.

I have been writing for almost ten years. Romance is my first love, though for now it is freelance writing that helps to pay the bills. Over the years I've completed a few other romance novels, some historical. I've been a member
of Romance Writers of America, Southern Louisiana Romance Writers, a number of on-line writer's groups, and of a wonderful critique group where I was fortunate to work with a published author. I'm proud to add that this
manuscript was a finalist this year in the Molly writing contest.

Don't forget the SASE, and don't forget the thank you!

If you are interested, I will gladly send you either the first three chapters of this story, or the complete manuscript. I have enclosed a synopsis and a SASE for your reply. If you prefer, you can send an e-mail. Thanks very much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Your name

as for your outline for a synopsis, that's ok, too, if it works for you... the main thing is to write it 'compellingly' in the same 'voice' as the book, and with no errors, to demonstrate how well you can write... it will either make the readers want to read your ms, or write you off as not worth their time...

love and hugs, maia

CroZ · 01-17-2006, 10:22 PM

Thanks again for the help maia

CroZ · 01-18-2006, 03:42 PM

Oh, now I have another question.
What about a CV, should I send in a regular one or one specially made for writing?
Basically I'm only just finished school and I havent really got anything to put on it annyway, would a cv really affect their decision?

mammamaia · 01-18-2006, 05:58 PM

nobody will want a cv when you're just querying... some will ask for a brief bio [1 short paragraph] when submitting the ms, but there's no reason you have to do up a formal resume...

and the only things that might affect a decision to take on [or not take on] your work, would be if you had decent writing credits in reputable magazines, reviews, whatever... and/or were particularly suited to be writing what you're submitting... such as if you were a social worker in the inner city ghettoes and were submitting a book based on those experiences...

CroZ · 01-18-2006, 09:58 PM

But i've found that alot of agents (havent checked many publishers) have been asking for CV's.
And the only ones that have been replying to my 'are you accepting' emails seem to want CV's too.

Dresdor · 01-19-2006, 06:07 AM

I recommend a book I recently picked up. It's got a nice section on common mistakes when submitting query letters to agents and publishers alike. clicky

mammamaia · 01-19-2006, 04:17 PM

even if asking for a 'cv' they don't really mean your whole life story and employment history... what they want is a paragraph telling what you've written and had published and what you do for a living, and what qualifies you to write what you're submitting, if it's non-fiction...

give me the names of 3 agents who have such a requirement or made such a request, and include the exact wording... without that info, i can't give you more specific advice...

CroZ · 01-20-2006, 01:44 PM

I can't find my writers market book at the moment so i'll just paste over what they asked for in a reply email, I'm pretty sure all of the Irish agents ask for CV's too, all of the others i've seen ask for them in the same way. I'll put up more once I find that book.

This is from SheilLand, a British agent by the way

Please send us the first three chapters (in hard copy format, not via e-mail or on disc), along with your CV, a covering letter, a brief 1-2 page synopsis and sufficient return postage. Please mark your work for the attention of the submissions dept. We will then come back to you within 6-8 weeks.
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Oh and this was the only one that positvely replied to my emails, would it be worth sending my mss to all of those that didnt even bother?

mammamaia · 01-20-2006, 04:42 PM

sorry, i had no way to know you were referring to agents in the uk... the info i gave was for agents in the us... seems to be a different ballgame where you are...