Thread: My Creepy Valentines Ideas

Hi,

So anyone who has read anything I've written probably realises that I have a little bit of a dark side (I blame uneven sunbathing) which I like to share with those closest to me.

This year will be the 4th year I am giving my partner a Valentines Day present, but alas, I'm running fresh out of ideas. To give you an idea of past year's gifts:

Year 1: A chopped up Barbie Doll in the fridge (ala Dexter)
Year 2: A Ransom note in the form of a mixed tape
Year 3: A T-shirt with both of our faces painted on (that I then forced him to wear outside the house.)

So as you can see, what I'm looking for is a gift idea that is both home-made and extremely creepy. Like if you got it from a stranger, you'd call the cops creepy.

Please let me know if you have any creepa-licious ideas.

*No dead animals though, that's pretty much the only rule.

A pen with sheep's blood? (or does it violate the no dead animals rule?)
If it was to a female, I'd suggest a bouquet of thistles.
How about a box of stones?

hmmmm... I guess I could get a box of chocolates, eat the chocolates and then replace them with stones. Or dried dung or something. I quite like that.

Yeah, the sheep's blood thing might be a bit tricky- sheep are notoriously afraid of needles. And thistles don't grow easily here- although I could find something equally prickly.

Thanks Rustgold! Keep em coming!

A baby doll completely wrapped in duct tape except for its eyes. A small memento box covered inside and out with photos of insects. A condom, an eye-patch, and a razor blade.

A coffee mug with his mom on one side and Fabio on the other?

Originally Posted by KarlR

A coffee mug with his mom on one side and Fabio on the other?

In my mind we have a winner right here.

Cover the hand with vaseline, make a bed of plaster in a box and embed the bottom half of your fist in it, cover the surface with vaseline so the halves will separate, then cast the top half of the mould. From this cast a mould of your fist in candle wax to which has been added a little flour, and some red and blue ink. A bit of experimentation and you will get an almost perfect representation of rather long dead flesh. I am not sure how you get the 'love' tattooed across the knuckles, possibly engrave it and back fill with something darker?

Rent "My Bloody Valentine", then suggest you two go for a walk in the woods.

Valentine wedding day - At their 10th wedding anniversary my friend turned lovingly to wife and said,

"Darling, if I had murdered you instead of marrying you. I'd be coming out about now."

Ah! Thank you! I knew there would be some twisted suggestions! I love the fist candle idea! And the mug? Inspired! I could probably get a picture of his mom yelling at him, although a picture of a mostly naked Ron Jeremy on the other side sounds more appealing than Fabio. Unless we're talking present-day Fabio, that might be interesting.

Thanks for all of the creepy suggestions I'm saving these in case he decides to stay with me despite this year's present.

Be sure to let us know what you decide, BabaYaga.

One idea that comes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer is to leave an envelope under your lovers pillow that they would find when they wake up in the morning. In the envelope is a pencil sketch of them sleeping. That comes from Episode 17 from Season Two, "Passion". Really, any given scene from that episode would work very well for your purposes.

This may be a bit difficult to pull off, but my friend once did it on a small scale:
Take oodles of pictures of him and plaster it all over the walls. Pictures that he doesn't know you've taken. Or, my friend just did it to the inside of a door (not sure which one she used, but ah well), it was a practical joke though, she pasted the whole door with pics of her joke victim's day at school and I bet when she opened the door she was like GAH!
My friend has awesome ninja skillz. Don't ask.
It might be fun. Though time's a bit short, I think. My friend took a month preparing.

A taxi fare, a STD testing kit and the phone number for Jeremy Kyle/Maury (depending on where you are) in case they have any problems.

Originally Posted by Amber Leaf

A taxi fare, a STD testing kit and the phone number for Jeremy Kyle/Maury (depending on where you are) in case they have any problems.

If you could make it a homemade STD kit, I think that would make this one top them all. My 'homemade', I mean a swab made of splintering jagged wood.