Thread: There is evil among us folks....

I entered a place I have not entered into in a long time…the grocery store. If I wasn’t bumped a dozen times I would be surprised. And what’s up with people not keeping to the law of the road? Oncoming carts (or buggy’s as we call them in the South) on the left and ongoing traffic on the right with enough passing room for us speeders.

Anyhoo, if that wasn’t bad enough…some spawn of Satan decided to put these delicious boxes of chocolate covered cherries at the end of each aisle. I am on my third box, have two stashed under my bed and am going back for more. My hips look like a renaissance painting but that doesn’t stop me from popping them little buggers in my mouth from sunup to sundown. Seriously yall, I’m addicted! And the lady said they only sell them at Christmas! So I only have two more days to load up…J

Just thought I’d share my little Christmas addiction with all you good folks and ask:

What is your Christmas addiction?

"My hips look like a renaissance painting"

About fell out of my chair!

Have a roly-poly Christmas!

I am laughing...will do... Seriously when I looked at myself in the mirror last night that is exactly what I thought of, Karl...

OMG terrib... I can't stop laughing... that was funny!

My addiction used to be egg nog. I love it still, but I've been a good girl this year and have only had a small juice glass of it.

I find the parking lots to be the worst. People are insane! My sister and I were parking in front of chapters, and this woman didn't like that I got to the only free spot first. She started throwing some nice hand gestures my way. When me and my sister were walking to the store, the woman must have found a spot somewhere else and was walking with a friend. She got lippy and yelled across the lot, "Learn how to f**king drive!"

I'm the type of person who avoids ALL conflict... but not my sister! LOL.. she's VERY protective of me, and hates when people treat me badly. My sister says to me, "You gonna let her talk to you like that?" I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "Whatever. She's clearly an angry person." My sister said, "That's it! If you're not sticking up for yourself than I am," and she started walking toward the woman and her friend. She yelled back to them, "YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH MY SISTER'S DRIVING B**CH!?"

OMG. I grabbed my sisters arm, but I didn't have to. The woman and her friend scurried off so fast, you'd think fire was licking at their asses! LOL.

Happy Holidays everyone!!! ;0)

I went to Wally World this morning. Mind you, I ride one of them ridey carts cuz of my oxygen situation, and I carry a small oxygen tank. People still get in the way. One couple insisted that I get out of their way because I was hugging the corner going around and they wished to go around the corner the wrong way.
They they called me weird for noticing their idiocy and making comment.
If D hadn't come up that moment and dropped off a million or so cans of Frisky's I dunno what would have happened.
I want so badly to just run amuck and start bowling people over like tenpins. There are just too many a$$hats around.
That said, I don't at all mind Rubenesque. Chocolate-covered cherries are even better in a brandy alexander
I like rum in my eggnog. And lots and lots of vanilla. I'd count calories but I left my calculator in my other life.

I work in a grocery store. The stories I could tell... no, no, I just can't do it... you can't make me.

Originally Posted by shadowwalker

I work in a grocery store. The stories I could tell... no, no, I just can't do it... you can't make me.

I also worked at a grocery store and the stories I could tell.

Originally Posted by terrib

I entered a place I have not entered into in a long time?the grocery store. If I wasn?t bumped a dozen times I would be surprised. And what?s up with people not keeping to the law of the road? Oncoming carts (or buggy?s as we call them in the South) on the left and ongoing traffic on the right with enough passing room for us speeders.

Yes, I can attest to the South calling carts 'buggies', but I think that any grocery store would call their carts buggies. It's a fact of life.

It's become a Christmas tradition with us to tie little, individually wrapped chocolates on our tree. Sitting there on Christmas Day, wearing my fat pants and slowly eating them all is one of my favourite things. That and cheap champagne.

Young blondes in Santa suits. And out of them too.

It's been many years since I was in a U.S. grocery store. Close to 100 percent of my shopping is in the open market where farmers in pickup trucks unload dirt-fresh potatoes, cabbages, and onions. Full bunches of bananas are hung up and eight bananas will cost you a Belize dollar. That's 50 cents in U.S. money. Bottles of pure honey and fresh coconut oil are next to great mounds of pineapple, mango, and and half a dozen varieties of habanero pepper.

There are no buggies in the market. The buggy is strictly a feature of grocery shops in the Far Frozen North (defined as any area of the Earth north of Key West). And buggy is the correct name, because they all have one wonker-sided front wheel that goes 'floppityfloppityfloppity' as you push it down the aisle searching for your favourite tasteless tinned mixture of additives and preservatives.

For me there is no Christmas addiction. I've not celebrated Christmas since my changing voice caused me to be put out of the St. Mark's choir at age 12. My celebration this time of year consists of hoisting a pint in honour of the New Year on 21 December.

terrib - Do the grocery shops also continue to put super-sugary candies and cheap toys at six-year-old eye level in the approach to the check-out stand? The aisle-end chocolates will snag you, and if you have kids you'll have a hard time passing that last hurdle.

Moderan -What you need for your ridey cart is a modified full-blown flathead V8. Milled heads, reamed cylinders, high-lift cams, and tuned straight pipe exhaust. No one will block the aisle in front of you.

Originally Posted by garza

Moderan -What you need for your ridey cart is a modified full-blown flathead V8. Milled heads, reamed cylinders, high-lift cams, and tuned straight pipe exhaust. No one will block the aisle in front of you.

Perhaps add a cow catcher, just in case they do.

I asked Santa for a cow catcher the other day. He thought I wanted to bet on the Green Bay game. I told him to take the under.

"modified full-blown flathead V8. Milled heads, reamed cylinders, high-lift cams" is tautological.

Originally Posted by terrib

Anyhoo, if that wasn’t bad enough…some spawn of Satan decided to put these delicious boxes of chocolate covered cherries at the end of each aisle.

I am familiar with the evil of which you speak. Last night I bought myself just such a box, why? WHY?

Because any 'shopping trip' that includes that little money, that much gridlock traffic, constant rain, cutthroat suburban moms cutting me off for parking spaces, shoulder-to-shoulder shopping, and lines at checkout. I'm a country mouse so all this traffic and busyness is out of my comfort zone. Also, by the time that I was trotting out through the rain with my furry hood up, a rapidly wet shopping cart of groceries, (and my chocolate covered cherries tucked under my arm) it was 11:30 pm and I had at least a half hour drive home. At the end of that I had to hide/put away all the things I'd managed to buy.

The top layer of cherries didn't last until I finally got to bed at 3:30 am. Yes, I am zombified but I also have a few more chocolate covered cherries!

Guess what's for breakfast?

Christmas this year is a quiet affair in the country for us. Very nice not to have to brave the malls and all the evil that runs rampant through those places. This is a first for us and I plan to enjoy it. However, hubby is a full blown choco covered cherry addict and has managed to find them in the local walmart. He has already blown through five boxes and has three more stashed in the back of the pantry... some things never change. I've considered an intervention but he's managed to make me an occasional 'user' too, so what can I say now??