Thread: If you could change a day in your life.

If you could go back and change a day in your life, which would it be and why?

I'd go back to a grade 8 evening after school, and decide on a different meal option. I decided I was going to cook french-fries in a frying pan with a bent handle. The grease was spitting hot, so I added in my fries. I didn't like how the handle was bent, so I decided I'd try to straighten it out. I grabbed the handle and started to bend it.... until it busted clean off, and the pan of grease flew into my face!

I started a kitchen fire, a long with getting 2nd and 3rd degree burns all over my face. It was the most painful thing I had ever had happen, still is to this day.

It's not from the pain, and it's not because it burned my flesh clean off, and cured me of freckles on my face for good that I'd go back. But, I was teased everyday for I don't know how long. People called me "Freddy Krueger" for months and months. My face was a terrible mess, and I lost some eyesight in my right eye because of it. They would follow me home everyday, they'd follow me to school, making fun of me. I thought my life was going to be like that forever. It hurt a lot, and it stuck with me all of these years I guess.

One thing I can be lucky with is. I don't have any scarring, which the burn specialist said I'd have because I refused skingraphs.

What day would you change, and why?

I can barely think of any. I generally don't think about past mistakes. The only one that comes to mind is the last day of the mission trip to Carson-Newman College I went on the summer between my junior and senior years. We had just come back from dinner and we're packing up to go home. We were almost done, all we had to do was load up our sleeping bags and non-work luggage onto the trailer. Me and my two roommates were lazy. We decided against going up and down four floors constantly, so one one of them, Dene, went down by the trailer, I stood at a window, and the other, Van, handed me our pillows and sleeping bags. The first two sleeping bags went down without a problem. Then I threw down our pillows and the last sleeping bag. Dene caught the pillows, but wasn't watching where he was going, and his arm slammed into my friend Chelsea's head. Then the sleeping bag went down, hit Dene in the back, bounced off with no damage done, and struck Chelsea's head. She was walking the line between consciousness and blacking out even before the paramedics came. When the ambulance arrived, I started to freak out, and then they pulled out the neck brace. That's when I lost it and broke down. I thought I'd killed or permanently damaged one of my closest friends. For the next four hours, I talked to no one, except for the head of campus security, even when some of the adults took me and a few other Youths to the school store in the hopes that it'd take our minds off the incident. When Chelsea came back, other than a really sore neck, she was fineThen we finished packing, and spent the next eight hours or so returning home in separate (pink and blue, no purple), yet cramped, vans. Because of me, there was a four hour delay.

If there was one thing I would do over it would be to not go back to college when I was in the my 30s. Instead, I'd stay on unemployment a little longer, find a job - any job that paid - and just work. Because I followed a lot of people's advice (including prospective employers who said "If only you had your degree..."), I went back to school, then graduate school and still couldn't get a decent paying job (the school didn't tell me they'd never been able to place anyone in the city I was living in - after I'd almost completed the coursework). The student loan people started hounding me, and to keep my credit, I refinanced my house to pay them off. Unfortunately, it was a predatory lender, and I ended up losing my house and my credit. So ironic - I was trying to better my position and ended up with a worse job than ever, tried to maintain my good credit and lost everything instead. So yeah, the day I decided to go back to school is the day I would change - I'd just stay in bed instead.

I think about that sometimes, but there's not one specific thing that I would change, because what made my life the way it was was a series of trends, not one single event that changed everything for me.

I think sometimes I would like to go back in time to tell my childhood self not to worry about getting picked on, and to stop trying to come up with clever or smart ways to convince people to stop picking on me, that if I try to beat the bullies at their own game I'm guaranteed to lose.

This may sound strange, but at 27 years old, I still carry that insecurity around with me from my childhood like a dark secret. A lot of the time I feel like I deserved to get picked on because of how easy I made it for others. Now all I wish is that I could just let go of the past, but it doesn't seem to want to let me go. As a result I question everything I do and say as having some kind of unseen effect on how people view me. That's probably why I'm so insecure about my writing. When I put it out there, I've always got that little voice in my head that says, "Hush, the grown ups are talking."

About a week after my tenth birthday in September of 1950 I attended my first day in a new school. As we were going downstairs for recess somebody told me, 'Watch out for Jimmy. He likes to beat up on new kids'. I laughed and said something like, 'Don't worry, I can take care of myself'.

Jimmy jumped me from behind as soon as we were outside. He was tough. His father was a shrimper, and Jimmy had already worked two summers on his dad's shrimp boat. He caught me by surprise that day and beat me up pretty good. The next day I was ready. I jumped him first and I beat him up pretty good.

We're still friends. When I flew up to the Coast to write about the oil spill Jimmy met me at the airport and drove me to my hotel. On the way I commented that he drove like an old lady. He was 70, same as me. His response was that he had no doubt he could still beat me up. 'If you think that', I said, 'just pull over here and we'll settle it'. 'I would', he said, 'but my leg's cramped and I can't reach the brake'.

That first day would be a good day to change. I can't think of any others.

The day I went to an important presentation wearing one black loafer and one brown loafer. I'm still hearing about it.

i REGRET much of my "youthful" days....but when i think about it....all those stupid decisions
are what eventually led me to what i have now....so i'm not sure if i'd go back and change any of
it. i'd want to for obvious reasons...but if i did....my path would've been completely altered and i
wouldn't have the wife, daughter and life i do now....so i'd probably let things ride as they happened.

I'd go back to right after high school graduation and tell everyone that says "you should go to college" to go to hell. Worst decision of my life. What the college pushers don't tell you is that if you're not a minority and your parents have no money, you're pretty much screwed.

To be perfectly honest if I could change one day, or even one moment, in my life, I'd go back and pull the trigger. I balked, telling myself that it can't be that bad and things will get better. So far I've lived with that lie for 2 decades. I still don't have the stomach to try again and I still have that sliver of hope. It's firmly lodged in my hand and making me try to write again, so here's hoping it doesn't shake free as I type.

Originally Posted by Sunny

I'd go back to a grade 8 evening after school, and decide on a different meal option. I decided I was going to cook french-fries in a frying pan with a bent handle. The grease was spitting hot, so I added in my fries. I didn't like how the handle was bent, so I decided I'd try to straighten it out. I grabbed the handle and started to bend it.... until it busted clean off, and the pan of grease flew into my face!

Trouble is, you never know how life might have turned out if that hadn't happened. You'd have avoided all that heartache you suffered and which has helped to shape you into the person you are today, but who knows, things might have turned out worse in some way.

I'm sure there are days that could have gone differently, but from where I'm looking, I wouldn't go back and change anything. I like my life. From the outside it probably looks pretty ordinary, but there's no-one alive that I'd rather be.

Originally Posted by Rob

Trouble is, you never know how life might have turned out if that hadn't happened. You'd have avoided all that heartache you suffered and which has helped to shape you into the person you are today, but who knows, things might have turned out worse in some way.

I'm sure there are days that could have gone differently, but from where I'm looking, I wouldn't go back and change anything. I like my life. From the outside it probably looks pretty ordinary, but there's no-one alive that I'd rather be.

Hi Rob.

It's so true. I guess it just hurts when you think back to how it felt when kids were so cruel. I still remember this one girl in-particular. She was soooo mean. She'd run out of her house if she saw me walking past! Even adults stared and pointed if I went out with my mom somewhere! It's crazy how people do that, how people don't understand how bad it makes the person feel that they're staring and pointing at! ;0) I missed a ton of school because of it too. Not because of the pain. Because of the reactions I got.

You're right that it's helped to shape me into who I am, though. All of our experiences do. I like who I am, so I guess that's ok. I'm like you, my life is definitely very ordinary.... but I would never want to be anyone else either! I'm very content to be who I am.

I believe that if I went back to one particular day, I would have gone to the day the Navy recruit was at my high school and went into the Navy. That way, I could see the world and get paid for it.

Ninth of July, Nineteen fifty-seven. I wouldn’t have taken her home afterwards. We could have just started running. They'd have never found us.

I wouldn't change a day in particular, but I would LOVE to go back in time and give myself some preemptive advice. Some addictions are darn hard to break, and if I had realized that 10 years ago (before I began), my life would be quite a bit better now.

Originally Posted by Tiamat10

I'd go back to right after high school graduation and tell everyone that says "you should go to college" to go to hell. Worst decision of my life. What the college pushers don't tell you is that if you're not a minority and your parents have no money, you're pretty much screwed.

I'm not a minority and my parents have no money. And yet, somehow I made it through college, got a degree, and got a great job. I'd give anyone the "you should go to college" advice, because I know from personal experience how important it is.

It's strange to think of change. Much less, in retrospect. When doing so, we're often reminded of things once considered a mistake or regret, which have now become history and part of our legacy. As we mature through life, and all its experiences, it is inevitable to learn from past mistakes or regrets- no matter their repercussions and/or lasting effects. Truth is, in some way or the other we've learned, which is a beautiful privilege not only for the ones who've learned through experience, but those who learn from our mistakes.

As I read the each posting on this board, I couldn't help but to see the optimism within each instance displayed.

After reading Sunny's post, it occurred to me- yes she has learned from an unfortunate event, but she can teach a child not to make the mistake she did by sharing her story. Granted, there will almost always be someone saying "don't do that" or "hot water burn baby", but to hear such an unfortunate story has more impact than a simple "no."

And Beanlord56's story of his ending hours on a mission's trip gone sour. The message is simple- don't throw things out of second-story windows. Be sure and be extra passionate, maybe shed a tear or two, when sharing your story to prevent other from throwing things from the second floor. I'm not sure it would convince me otherwise. Just kidding! It made me think twice- not that I plan to throw anything from my apartment window, but my brother might give it a shot!

Shadowwalker has a different type of story. One that I have learned from as a matter of fact. This is also a simple lesson learned- procrastination will consume years, and many cherished things, if you're not careful. Tell everyone you know- if they decide to go to college, do so before the age of 30. If not, one may face the loss of a home and credit. But, before ever deciding to go to college, tell them to be sure college is meant for them.

Reading Themooresho's post, this hits really close to home and I am saddened by the longterm effect of bullying. To be honest, I despise ass-face bullies because I too was picked on for the majority of elementary school, middle school, and early parts of high school. Yes, I was the kid in 8th grade homeroom class who wore the same clothes three times a week, ate school funded lunches, and couldn't read or write above a 3rd grade level. I was the poor boy who grew up in the bayou of Ocklawaha River within Florida's Ocala National Forest. One day everything changed. I found my liberty as an individual, free from the imprisoning slurs, spits, punches, and kicks of inconsiderate immature children. It was a defeat that I now use to the advantage of almost 100 urban children in south Florida each year. How did I do it? I put on my man pants, and began to make necessary changes not to benefit anyone but myself. In a way, I had to become selfish and isolated- some like to call it independence. I made the decision to never again allow the words, and actions, of another effect me any longer than necessary. Yes, these things hurt, but they shouldn't hurt no more than you allow them to. This practice, like all practices, becomes easier with experience and time. Will my method work for everyone? Nope! One thing it can, and has done, is inspired many kids, young adults, and adults to do the same. To over come the haunting effects of bullying. Your first step Themooresho, dig deep to every memory you can recall and connect it with the issues you believe they now cause. Illuminate the issue and eliminate the issue. Be sure to share this with your kids (If you have children). Also, I often suggest lessons in Taekwondo, karate, or something similar- even MMA depending on age. This helps to build self-respect and confidence.

Well, I didn't intend to use that many post to provide examples, but I did and feel it was necessary.

I do have one last thing to say about Punnikin's post.

Respect is imperative on this mutual land we call Earth. When posting or making comments, please be conscious of how others may feel or react to what is said, and how what you might say could possibly offend others. There is nothing new in what you have said, and it serves no purpose but attention. The fact that you have admitted to the idea of suicide is wonderful! The way you did it was inappropriate. I love the idea that you have found hope in a brighter day. No matter how long you wait, it will come to you, as it came to me and millions of others who have faced situations similar to the one you have mentioned. You're on the right track if you choose to continue writing as a release and a way to express yourself, but please remember to do these things in a respectable fashion. You never no who your audiences are on forums like WF. When writing, you should always be mindful of your audiences, particularly with subjects like suicide. Punnikin, if this idea manifests within you again, please seek help. One who acts on these thoughts often forgets there is a way out, they just need to search for it a little longer.

Rest well, Cody- We miss you.