Thread: Guys are just as insecure as girls.

Yesterday my brother walked into the room where I was watching TV and was like, "Fatima, do my thighs look fat in these jeans?" I answered, "Nope, you're fine," and he said, "You didn't even look. Will you just look?" and I responded, "Do you ever shut up? I'm trying to watch the Office!" When I finally did pay attention, the jeans were pretty tight on him and I advised him not to ever wear them in public.

So he dragged me with him to go shopping for new clothes (He told me we were going out for food ) and we spent about an hour just looking for a pair of jeans and a shirt that would fit him. He has gained a little bit of weight and he's gone up about two sizes. Every shirt he tried on had him whining that he had "man boobs" but he doesn't really - not big ones anyway, lol. We left the store with a large sweatshirt and jeans.

And so the moral of the story is: guys are just as insecure about their bodies as girls. Haha, shocking, isn't it?

Of course we are, well most of us anyways. We're just too stuck up on pride and manliness to actually admit it and let it show. The exceptions being, obviously your brother, and my own brother.

Unless your brother is like my friend who used to be really fat, then lost a lot of weight (he's anorexic skinny) and now had DDs (odd, I know) that can knock you out with a single flap, I don't think he has room to complain. Even I have man boobs, but it's simple to hide them: wear loose clothing.


I just realized that this kinda sounds rude, which is the exact opposite of my intentions.

A whole new clientelle for plastic surgeons! Male breast reductions! Probably quicker and faster healing, and any scarring will be hidden in the hairy chest. I say, go for it guys! We dirty old ladies like our prey lookin' hot!

of course guys are exactly the same as girls if not more...that is something totally normal I can reassure you.
just because they have not got their own makeup sections and beauty salons does not mean they are not into looks and perfection.
if society was different they would have excatly what women have on everything if not more.

I think it would be fair to say women tend to be more insecure about their bodies, because as a culture, we put more pressure on women to look a certain way -- especially when it comes to weight. The imagery you see on TV and in magazines etc. sets up an almost impossible ideal.

I remember a few years back Dove ran a campaign with so-called average women and they were shown in their underwear -- and while some of them were a little heavier, they were still very well proportioned and pretty and of course, they had really nice skin. And they were getting all this praise for it.

You just don't see that kind of focus on men -- and you don't see all the beauty and diet products aimed at them. And in all those ads, it's about feeling better about yourself, more confident -- just because you look better. I think that you see relatively few men with eating disorders speaks to all that.

Guys are just as insecure as girls.

Rubbish - guys are much more insecure than girls.

Apart from the whole SNAG/Metrosexual mind trip, who tops the charts in steroid abuse?

Male image is pushed, although not in the same way - but if you don't look like Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or Sean Connery (or any of the "look" crowd), you'd better be funny (because the surveys show that a sense of humour is right up there with tight butts, 6-pack abs, and financial independence), or have a marketable talent (music, sports, whatever). When was the last time an ugly face (or a fat guy) was used to sell shaving products or cologne?

If you can't be part of the "look" crowd, or the funny crowd, then your image depends on your wallet - buy the latest European top-of-the-line car (or any car that costs more than a house), and the gold-and-platinum watch that sets off metal detectors in the next state, and you can forget about that hair-replacement therapy and the Ab-Circle-Pro.

The OP is about body type -- not insecurity in general. Again, I'd say that since only around 10% of people with eating disorders are men, that's pretty good evidence that women tend to be more insecure about their bodies. Yes -- men are handsome in ads, but there isn't the sheer volume of ads aimed at men as women -- most of which show them impossibly thin and/or with huge breasts -- a really unnatural combination. And look at the ads for diet programs like Weight Watchers -- they're all aimed primarily at women.

Cran, you have it exactly right. Well played, sir, well played.

Originally Posted by garza

Cran, you have it exactly right. Well played, sir, well played.

Maybe -- if you're ignoring the gist of OP.

Otherwise, I think it would safe to say that often people are insecure because of different pressures put on us by culture and society -- different things and in different measures, depending on the individual and sex.

Originally Posted by JosephB

The OP is about body type -- not insecurity in general. Again, I'd say that since only around 10% of people with eating disorders are men ...

Is that 10% who are treated for eating disorders?
Or 10% who admit to eating disorders?

An estimated 10-15% of people with anorexia or bulimia are males. Many clinicians believe that this figure is underreported because many men are ashamed to admit that they may be suffering from something thought to affect only women. Newsweek magazine reported 40% of 131 Cornell University football players surveyed engaged in eating disordered behaviors (bingeing and purging), with 10% classified as having clinical eating disorders. Many men suffer from bulimia under the guise of "staying in shape" and use compulsive exercise as a form of purging...

Only 1 in 10 people with eating disorders receive treatment...

Roughly 25 million men and 43 million women are dieting to lose weight. Another 21 million men and 26 million women are dieting to maintain weight. In total, there are nearly 116 million adults dieting at any given time — representing about 55% of the total adult population...

-http://www.mirasol.net/eating-disord...statistics.php

Originally Posted by JosephB

... And look at the ads for diet programs like Weight Watchers -- they're all aimed primarily at women.

Not in the ads I've seen; nor in the hype for Fat Busters and Greatest Losers; nor in the posters at my local medical centre.

Facts about men and weight loss

• You’re not alone. In the U.S., about 70% of men are overweight, and about 30% of men are obese.¹
• Studies show that men are more likely than women to postpone dieting until their health begins to suffer, which means that they're more likely to be extremely overweight by the time they act.²

-http://www.weightwatchers.com/betterformen/

And yeah -- there's a Weight Watchers for men -- I'm talking about the TV ad campaigns -- and here in the states, the spokespeople are women, the majority of the testimonials, if not all -- are women. The same with most of the other diet programs and products. What does that tell you? They are aimed at the audience that is most susceptible to the message -- women.

Football players would naturally be more concerned about weight. Seems like a weird study group. That's like conducting a study about eating disorders among female gymnasts and applying it to the general population. And why even consider posters at the medical center? They're not going to be biased one way or the other for obvious reasons.

Studies show that men are more likely than women to postpone dieting until their health begins to suffer, which means that they're more likely to be extremely overweight by the time they act.

And what does that tell us? That when it comes to weight, health reasons are more likely to cause men to act -- not body image.

Here's the relevant stat:

"Roughly 25 million men and 43 million women are dieting to lose weight."

Which would leave me to believe women are more concerned and insecure about weight -- no? And that was my original point -- and direct answer to the OP, which is about body type.

Men tend to like thinner women with big knockers, women tend to like good looking and/or financially well off men – and some have insecurities based on those. And of course, advertisers take advantage of it. Banal stuff when you think about it.

Male insecurity does not simply manifest through dieting, however. I know men who I believe would be too insecure to admit they need to diet -- many of them work out compulsively instead, while still eating their fried red meat dripping with grease and cheese and drinking carbonated sugar water and frowning at that leafy rabbit food.

Also, what does the word "diet" mean? As a noun it simply means "the kind of foods you generally eat." Does it mean to pay attention to what you eat? As a vegetarian who buys foods with as few ingredients as possible from local sources, I very clearly have a specific diet. I'm not overweight, but I make sure not to gain any via how I work out and what I eat. Am I on a diet? Or does it have to be one of those fad diets where someone makes money from your plight?

And even if you say no, what I do does not count as dieting, I can still tell you that I am very insecure about how I look. I worry about my hair cut, beard trimming, muscle toning, whether I get any body fat, if I have acne, if I forget to cut my finger nails, what my clothes look like, etc.

Really, I think it's silly to pretend that gender really matters here at all. Yes, gender affects how society pressures you, but not whether you are pressured; I think there are more important variables than gender.

Also, what does the word "diet" mean?

Diet in this context means some sort of program for weight loss.

Male insecurity does not simply manifest through dieting, however.

Nope, not solely. But I'd bet most men and women look at dieting as the easiest and quickest fix, so it's probably a pretty good indication.

Otherwise, it's not silly to suggest women are more concerned with body issues than men -- which is the thread topic. I think there is evidence to support it -- along with the observable things that I've mentioned.

Not saying I can endorse this for accuracy, but this is interesting info. that seems to be credible.

Mirror, mirror - A summary of research findings on body image

An excerpt:

All research to date on body image shows that women are much more critical of their appearance than men – much less likely to admire what they see in the mirror. Up to 8 out of 10 women will be dissatisfied with their reflection, and more than half may see a distorted image.

Men looking in the mirror are more likely to be either pleased with what they see or indifferent. Research shows that men generally have a much more positive body-image than women – if anything, they may tend to over-estimate their attractiveness. Some men looking in the mirror may literally not see the flaws in their appearance.

Another interesting article:

Women found more concerned for their body shape as compared to men | TopNews

Why is it whenever there's a discussion about whether males or females have more or less of something, people argue like crazy that their sex has it the worst? Are we five years old? What is wrong with people? It's not a competition. Some men are more insecure than women. Some women are more insecure than men. Who really cares who has it the worst?

True, if want to look at things in the most simplistic way possible. Otherwise, having a bad body image issues can lead to serious problems -- I'm sure you're aware of that. Looking at who is most susceptible and why would be the place to start looking at things -- if you're going to address the issue. That's not something five-years olds do.

Fine for you to say "who cares" -- but there are a lot of people who are interested in the topic -- and as the father of two girls, it concerns me. You might want to consider how others might feel about this before you dismiss it all.