Thread: Kids say the funniest things.

Joseph, that's a really good idea! There's too much stuff to try and remember.

My baby cousin, now nine, was and still is hilarious. When he was three, whenever he saw something he wanted, whether it be on TV or at the store, and he received no for an answer, he'd complain in an ear-bleeding-inducing high voice, "Please, honey? I need it, I need it!"

When my brother was three or four, he was at the same stage by cousin was above: the "I want everything I see on TV" stage. Everything he saw on TV (toys, food, TVs, games) he wanted. Even girl toys. One particular toy I remember him wanting was a stroller for baby dolls. He said it would come in handy.

Originally Posted by JosephB

Recommendation to all parents -- write these things down. I would have never thought to do it, but my wife keeps a notebook of funny and sometimes touching or poignant things our kids say. You think you'll remember all of them and you likely will some -- but we looked at the book recently, and there were plenty we both forgot or didn't remember quite right -- and the bulk of them are only from a few years ago. Out of the mouths of babes...

What an excellent idea! If I had done that, I could now report some of what my children said when they were small. As it is, you'll have to make do with other people's. Here's the first one:

Jack, age 3, sat watching his mother breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he ventured forth: ‘Mum, why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?’

beanlord56... that is priceless... I love "Please, honey? I need it, I need it!"... Thinking the stroller would come in handy is hilarious.



My niece really liked trucks... but she couldn't say truck... it sounded like the swear work f__k!

When we were at the store shopping, she'd point at the toy trucks and start asking for us to buy it for her. Except it didn't seem right when it came out of her mouth.
"I want the f__k, I want the f__k!!"

Or driving down the highway, she'd point out the window... "Look daddy, big f__k, big f__k!"

I was working at wall mart, (I work the smokeshop), and a little boy and his father came up to purchase some cigarretes. The boy adamantly demanded, "Why don't you stop making cigarretes! cigarretes are bad for you!"

So I replied, "I don't make them, the companies do."

He said, "Why don't you tell the companies to stop? Make them stop!"

I said, "They won't stop unless someone pays them."

He pointed at me, "Well you work at wall-mart, why don't you pay them?!"

The father and I just laughed.

My nephew was about 3 years when we had a braai (barbeque) at my sister's house. One of the ladies that joined us that day happens to be a particularly beautiful woman. My nephew would always become very shy and quiet around her. This evening however, the lady wore a very tight dress which made her rear end more prominent. As she walked in and bent down to greet my nephew, he began singing at the top of his voice: "I like big butts and I cannot lie!" All of us just cackled.

My niece, who is 4 years older than my nephew, is quite the thinker. Everything that happens is processed in her curious mind. Anyhow, my sister and I decided to have a girl's weekend at her house a few years ago. Being avid red wine drinkers at the time, we consumed several bottles between the two of us. The next day we went to the shop to get snacks and we popped into the bottle store to buy a few more bottles for the next two evenings. My niece, in the middle of a crowded bottle store, shouts out to my sister:
"Mom, why do you always have to drink?".
In horror of how that may sound to passers-by, my sister questioned her.
"My darling, when does mommy drink?"
"Only on the weekend," was my niece's response.
Satisfied that the confusion of my seemingly alcoholic sister had been resolved, she made a beeline for the door and made me purchase the wine.

One day i was in the garden with my father, mother and wife when my young son came running out of the house pointing at his willy !!! He said dad my willy has gone hard !!! My wife hushed him into the house and left me blushing looking at my parents !!! It turned out my son was watching a tv show and he liked the lady presenter of the childrens tv show !!! ahhhhhh bless

What was the children's show? "Free willy?" <- [/badjoke]

Originally Posted by Die Oldhaetunde

What was the children's show? "Free willy?" <- [/badjoke]

Blue Peter hahahahaha

Steven, age 3, hugging and kissing his mother goodnight: ‘I love you so much that when you die I’m going to bury you outside my bedroom window.’