Thread: Is education working?

I ask as i used to be a lecturer, saw the light.
The following is from the little darling's age range that I used to lecture. No wonder I gave up!!
For your own good health I have only listed 10!

Theses are supposedly genuine answer's to British GCSE Exam papers for 16 yr olds.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Education. What Education?

Supposedly. But assuming these are for real -- maybe these people weren't paying attention, or maybe they're just not very bright.

I think maybe it is the with the stifness dated and irrelevant stuff that what it being thought and the lack of imagination and creativity in what is being force fed to those poor kids.
God I am glad I am out of there.
Boredom at its worse.

I knew countless people like this when I was still in school. Fortunately my ties to them have been cut off. It's the effect of a pisspoor public education system where the majority of the "teachers" don't even want to teach; they just want to get paid and being an educator was the only job they could get. In my high school career, I had a total of twenty nine teachers (thirty two classes, some teachers multiple times) and only eight of them actually taught me something, and they enjoyed teaching.

These aren't for real. There is too much underlying cleverness in most of the answers and not enough true ignorance. A clever, educated, person can never successfully imitate an ignorant person. See my short story 'Donky Hody Road a Hors'.

Sounds like students taking the **** rather than actually trying to be fair.

If you want some really scary quotes from the classroom, how about these from friends of mine who are teachers.

During a geography lesson while looking at an atlas, one of the children pointed to Madagascar and said 'Oh look! They named a country after that film'.

Or, during a visit from Princess Anne, one of the children said 'What sort of person calls their daughter 'Princess' anyway?'

I've been assured that neither of these children were joking.

Last night I argued briefly with a 12 year old about the difference between invisible and invincible. He was asking Mom for help. She told him that something which cannot be seen is invincible. Of course it could've all been a lie since we were arguing online.

Some supposedly highly intelligent people can give some very stupid answers; this is the answer to a question about an increase in the percentage of National Insurance contributions by the employed:

National Insurance is not an income tax it is a tax on income.

No prizes for who came up with that one...

There was a guy in my science class who got into trouble after the mocks in the leaving cert (not too much trouble because the teacher found it amusing too).
Basically, he took the **** out of the entire exam and answered in the most ridiculous way possible. His reasoning? "it's my last exam before the leaving cert, I just wanted to have a bit of fun with it) I don't know if the GCSE's have a mock type exam the leaving cert has, but it could be something similar (assuming of course they are real.)

I also know a girl who is intelligent (especially in numbers/business and the like) who didn't believe bears existed outside of fairytales and only found out they were real after seeing stuffed bears in a natural history museum. There were many other things similar to that, but I can't think of any others at the moment.

Didn't Bush Jr. say this line once in a speech?