Women need to start putting the seat up for us men. I have a sore back, so why should I have to stoop down? Or accept the accuracy of my aim without complaint.
I Will Stop The Motor of the World
Just once in my life, I'd like to punch an alien in the face. Them big eyes, and big head and little mouth, always coming into my dreams and scaring me. Time for some PAYBACK!
Why do they have braille keypads at drive-up ATMs?
Everything I know about writing I learned from my golden retriever;
1. Try to do everything with class
2. Always be honest, even when it will get you into trouble
3. Play, play, play
4. Nap frequently
The worst (I hope?) sentence I have ever written:
"Visibility is a condition of possibility for knowability"
Let us all remember the value of reading our work out loud, because you will find a sentence like this one and want to smack yourself silly. And then fix it.
I woke up this morning with two words stuck in my head, and have walked around all day saying them: Chicken Spears
absurdism and minimalism, together at last.
Don't get me started on tipping waitresses.
Thank God I drive a big Diesel Ford with all these half blind people driving to ATM's
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