Thread: Corrupted Wishes Game

Granted. But your male dog sires only one offspring. That one puppy has three heads. Your girls are slightly freaked-out, especially when Cerberus tells them that he has to leave and guard the gates of the underworld. Heartbroken, your girls ask if they can go visit Cerberus. You tell them, "No chance in Hell!"
You later reconsider, as you have always been a big fan of the group, Styx.

I wish our office staff played less Tetris and actually produced accurate paperwork.

Granted. Everyone in your office is now putting out 110% and the big bosses are thrilled. They hand out bonuses and raises. The company CEO has made yours Office of the Year and pays for the entire staff and their families to have a paid week of vacation at Disneyland. While you are buying Mickey Mouse ears, the "big one" hits, tearing California apart, and you get a strong feeling of Deja Vu...

I wish I could be in NW Pennsylvania right now, visiting my aunt and cousins in their small town.

Granted. But you end up connecting with your cousins so well that you stay there. You guys play Twister and Trivial Pursuit 'till the wee hours of the morning. You forget to bathe, and eventually stop eating. After not showing up to work for a month, you are fired. When the Sheriff evicts you all from your cousin's house, you finally end up playing games in a dirt lot next to the county landfill. You hardly notice the stench, cold and gnawing hunger because you are having so much fun.

I wish people got along better.

Your wish is granted...but...as Aristotle said..."A friend to all is a friend to none". The people of Earth became sad in their hearts, outwardly they wore a mask of happiness, but inside a wall of silence and entrapment encompassed their true feelings and thoughts. Life became meaningless!

I wish the German Fuhrer Herr Merkel and the President of Vichy France Nicolas Sarkozy would f**k of and compensate Greece for the damages and murders they committed in Greece during the second war!!!

Granted but when Bad people make wrong things better the Greeks got confused and the lack of anger and focus bred less artists and more obese bored people. Eventually Greece sinks because of too much delicious Jajike'.

I wish my brother was alive and could give me one massive hug right now.

Wish granted (to REC). Greece now is wealthier than all the other countries of Europe! She uses her newfound wealth to build up her military. First, she settles scores with Turkey. Later, time for payback to all those pesky Slavs and Croats. Finally, in an act of "preemptive defence", Greece invades and decimates France and Germany.
Sixty-five years later, Greece is petitioned by a list of countries claiming to be victims of Greek aggression. The World Court pays the highest awards to the Franco-Deutch plaintiffs. They build up their militaries...

I wish collectivism / socialism actually worked.

(No one needs to grant my wish. Even magic can't make that one work. I jumped in front of TinyDancer, let's grant his wish.)

Granted. The massive hug your brother gives you makes your eyes pop right out of your sockets. Lucky for you, government run health care pays for two new eyes. Unfortunately, your bionic eyes are made in Hangzhou and are powered by a radioactive isotope. You mutate, growing a third eye on your forehead. The new eye is blue, while the radioactive Chinese bionic eyes are brown.
Since your face now clashes in contrasting, uncomplimentary colors, you no longer get invited to the good parties.

I wish less people talked smack about other people.

Granted but human evolution goes into regression due to lack of critique.

I wish donkeys could fly.

Granted, but they also find it quite funny to crash land on people starting with you.

I wish I didn't feel so alone tonight...

Granted. But your new companion is a bloodthirsty cannibal dodo bird, and you somehow have become a dodo bird as well.

I wish I could fly.

Granted. But while flying you are blinded by the morning sun and accidentally fly into a plane.

I wish I had superpowers.

Granted. However your superpower is the ability to defecate through your mouth, and that's the only way you can do it now.

I wish that my life was less boring and routine.

Granted. But to make your life more exciting, you are trapped in the Xbox game Dark Souls, in which most players die hundreds of times (it's one of the hardest games out there). You die very quickly from the swing of an Asylum Demon's Great Hammer.

I wish I could destroy bullets with my mind.

Granted, but those bullets are destroyed within your mind, therefore killing thousands of brain cells until there are no more to kill.

I wish I could make food out of thin air.

Granted. All the food that is made is the size of a house and is moldy.

I wish I could change from boy to girl and back, at will.