Thread: Corrupted Wishes Game

Granted -- it's an allegory about modern marketing, where consumers become completely lost in the world without the civilizing influence of glowing hair care products, pharmaceutical life enhancements, and magic car-pet rides.

I wish words could, somehow, become a wooden stake that parts the heart of the consumer-vampire culture.

Granted, but it changes to iron in your grip whenever you try to use it.

I wish that I could read horror when I had to.

And that wish is granted every time you visit writing forums. What -- you thought the words don't bleed? You heartless pig.

I wish I hadn't called Cold Twilight a heartless pig. Really.

Granted - however due to a lack of insults, and Cold Twilight's sense of humor, she quickly finds you boring and ignores you. Normally this would not pose a problem, but having caught wind of this, all your other friends begin to ignore you. This cycle continues until you are all alone and die a lonely death.

I wish I could dance like those guys in Riverdance.

granted, but you find yourself doing it all the time. Incessantly. This drives away all your friends and leaves you alone in life (but still dancing...). Too bad.

I wish prices weren't so extortionate.

Granted, prices on everything fall instantaneously. Unfortunately, you are asleep while this happens (taking a much deserved nap) and everyone else quickly buys up all products.

Companies, having lost all profit margins, all go out of business. Suddenly, there is no food for the people of the world. Someone notes that your wish likely perpetrated this problem, and an angry mob comes to kill you.

I wish it would stop raining, but then start again in a few days, and continue this cycle as normal.

Granted, but since it had stopped short, then started up a few days later, the rain fell too heavily and brought about large puddles and slight flooding. A little girl slipped in partly-flooded feild, got a concussion, and died. Her father saw this forum, saw your post, hunted you down and killed you.

I wish I could see my relatives overseas, seeing them perfectly and normally, this seeing them resulting in nothing harmful or remotely horrible happening to myself or anyone I know.

Originally Posted by OncePossesed

Granted, but since it had stopped short, then started up a few days later, the rain fell too heavily and brought about large puddles and slight flooding. A little girl slipped in partly-flooded feild, got a concussion, and died. Her father saw this forum, saw your post, hunted you down and killed you.

I wish I could see my relatives overseas, seeing them perfectly and normally, this seeing them resulting in nothing harmful or remotely horrible happening to myself or anyone I know.

Granted, but terrible things happen to everyone else, all over the world.... I'm talking terrible things.... Slow beheadings, toothpicks under the fingernails; no one dies without agony.

CAN YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF?! muahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I wish I didn't have to write this stupid stupid story.

Granted, you no longer have to write the story, but soon find yourself bored and restless. Slowly, the story creeps back into your mind. It becomes so that you cannot even sleep without thinking of this story, yet you know how awful it is. One night, as you lay awake in bed, you feel almost posessed and spend countless days writing the story, not from need but from desire. You try to get it published, having spent so much time on it, but every publisher you send it to laughs in your face for writing such a stupid, stupid plot. Suddenly realizing you are old, unaccomplished and alone, you decide suicide is the only route left.

I wish I could move things with my mind.

Originally Posted by Aheaton2

Granted, you no longer have to write the story, but soon find yourself bored and restless. Slowly, the story creeps back into your mind. It becomes so that you cannot even sleep without thinking of this story, yet you know how awful it is. One night, as you lay awake in bed, you feel almost posessed and spend countless days writing the story, not from need but from desire. You try to get it published, having spent so much time on it, but every publisher you send it to laughs in your face for writing such a stupid, stupid plot. Suddenly realizing you are old, unaccomplished and alone, you decide suicide is the only route left.

I wish I could move things with my mind.

GEEEZ! Dagger sold separately, eh?

You move things so much, the things you moved are no longer the things you wished to move, and eventually, you misalign all of your molecules and suffer a death were your nose is right next to your colon and the opening thereof.

I wish I knew what to say to make it all ok again.

Granted...with freebies! Not only do you know what to say to make it all ok again but you also know what to say to make a million dollars, attract the perfect mate, stop your feet from perspiring forever, and create the perfect hairstyle everytime. Unfortunately, you completely lose the power of speech forever and writing these words you know out does nothing. Nada. Zip. Sorry.


I wish I could buy and store all the books I ever wanted without exploding my house or going broke.

Granted. You inherit a large fortune from a relative you never knew you had, as well as an air-conditioned warehouse full of bookshelves. You spend all your time collecting books, and your house doesn't explode and you don't go broke. This is working out great! It's just what you wanted! Everyone is so happy for you! Unfortunately, you become obsessed with collecting books and you neglect everyone special in your life. You hardly notice them and continue collecting books. Many years later when you finally fill up all the shelves with books, you sit down to read a book and find that you have forgotten how to read. Then, of course, your warehouse burns to the ground.

I wish for something...

Granted. You get something. It's unidentifiable, stinks to high heaven, and eventually catches fire as it oozes accross the floor searching for you. But, hey, you have something!



I wish my garden would weed and water itself.

Granted. Your garden hears your wish and decides to weed itself. Unfortunately, your garden has poor comprehension skills and so "weeding itself" involves growing weeds. It then waters itself, so the weeds grow, killing all the other plants. The watering continues until a giant flood is created, and your house is washed away.

I wish for a patch of grass with no weeds.

Granted, a perfect patch of grass pops up, green as green has ever been! Completely weed free! Unfortunately, it popped up on your face...Your family and friends sell you into the circus where once a week a large man named Bob has to mow your face. It's extremely painful, but you're under contract til death.

I wish to meet President Ronald Reagan.