Thread: Corrupted Wishes Game

Granted, but some homeless hobo breaks in everyday and falls sleep on the couch, it is just so comfy.

I wish for a new pair of shoes.

Granted, but they used to be a hobo's shoes. (At least they are new to you...!)

I wish barefootedness was acceptable everywhere.

Granted, it is now acceptable, but you burn your feet because some wacko is setting everything alight.

I wish that newspapers came thermally insulated so they would be more effective as a blanket on cold nights.

Granted, you hobo!...er, I mean... Granted, but it is still flamable! *grins*

I wish more people would appreciate Oprah Winfrey.

Granted, but Oprah Winfrey gives away free cars to every single person and the oil fields are exhausted in a week and everything on the planet dies from excessive air pollution.

I wish I worked in a chocolate shop.

Granted, but then you would give some chocolates to speakerphone2 and she would become fatter.

I wish hideaway would invent fatless chocolate.

Granted, but then you try to live on the fatless chocolate, but you fail because you then have absolutely no fat reserves, and you end up miserable, lying about under newspapers in some alley, except when you break into offices and lie on the comfy couch, but this hardly ever happens, and you get quite tired of lying in alleys, so you start to desperately hate hideaway for inventing that chocolate, and then you remember you still have a cache of weapons from your spying days, so you retrieve a rifle and kill hideaway, the chocolate mogul.

I wish I was bulletproof.

Granted, but are you bazooka-proof?

I wish I could remember the clever wish I had already thought of.

Granted, and the clever wish was that your memory will improve.

I wish I was also bazooka-proof.

Granted, but are you atomicbomb-proof?

I wish I could think of something less corny than 'atomicbomb-proof'.

Granted, but the thing you think of is incredibly clever and witty, and you die from laughter before you are able to assassinate hideaway.

I wish that speakerphone2 wasn't so violent.

Granted, but instead she turns to passive-agressiveness and ignores you for all of eternity.

I wish hideaway would answer my PM when I leave.

Granted, but he doesn't send the reply to you.

I wish someone would invent something really useful that is also flame-proof.

Granted, but you have to be a fireman to get one of those coats.

I wish asbestos didn't cause cancer.

Granted, but then humans use asbestos for everything, including food, and major industries collapse all over the globe, leading to poverty and even starvation in asbestos-poor countries.

I wish the man in the moon would stop staring at me.